论文部分内容阅读
随着社会的不断发展，越来越多的人意识到了保护环境的重要性。现要求写一个海报来向同学们宣传在日常生活中该采取一些怎样的方法来减少空气中二氧化碳的排放和空气污染，以及节约能源和减少浪费。
要求：
1. 自拟标题；
2. 关于保护环境的方法不少于3个；
3. 适当使用口号。
海报是用来告知大家有关电影、戏剧、体育比赛等信息或者提倡某些积极健康的行为的带有宣传性质的招贴。一份成功的海报，标题要醒目，内容要简洁明了，力求用最短的文字包含最多的信息。
【习作1】
Research shows that our earth is too hot to fit creatures living in①； actions must be taken to solve this great problem.
Here are some suggestions for us②：
Replace driving cars by walking or riding a bike.
Planting③ more green plants， even at home to reduce carbon dioxide.
More serious laws should be made to control some factories’ polluting by releasing too much harmful gases④.
Developing⑤ science education to support the progress of technology.
Strengthen our country so that it will be powerful enough to take valid measures.
Not to hesitate， join us now！ Our earth needs you！
【点评】
该习作有很多句子可以加以改进：
①此句的本意是用too ... to ... 结构，但是用错了，应是our earth is too hot for creatures to live in；
②for us 多余，删去；
③句是祈使句，开头应用动词原形。planting。④和⑤句中的developing属同类型错误，应分别改为plant和develop；
海报要求是写祈使句，而④句没有使用。④句也有语法错误，本应是做定语的releasing too much harmful gases因为在前面加了by，变成了“通过释放过多的有害气体”。还有一个问题是海报只是起宣传的作用，所以最好不要提及制定法律之类的话题，宣传采取行动比较合适。这句话最好写成take action to control some factories’ pollution。
总观全文，这篇文章把要求写的内容写了，但是缺少标题。作者英文功底较差，对海报的要求也还没有领会。让我们来看看下篇习作。
【习作2】
Global warming
Cause： Over Emission of CO2
Cut down the use of fossil fuel ①
Plant more trees and protect the forests
Take buses instead of driving
Use recyclable products
Save water and electricity
Hand in hand！ We can succeed！
Love the earth， love our home！
【点评】
这篇习作就是篇佳作，亮点有二：
1. 习作达到了海报的要求：简洁明了，同时用简短的语言告诉大家具体要怎么做；
2. 清晰的口号：Hand in hand！ We can succeed！ Love the earth， love our home！
不过，还是有些瑕疵：①处中应是cut down on the use of fossil of CO2。
总而言之，较之上篇习作，该习作确实不失为一篇佳作。
【范文】
Fight global warming
Cut down on energy. Cut down on carbon dioxide
If not using an electrical item， turn it off.
If you suddenly feel cold， don’t turn the heat up， put on a jacket instead.
Walk or ride a bike and save fossil fuels.
Recycle paper， cardboard and newspapers.
Buy products made from recycled materials.
Buy energy-saving products like low energy light bulbs.
Plant trees to absorb CO2.
Tell your friends about global warming.
Every effort counts！
要求：
1. 自拟标题；
2. 关于保护环境的方法不少于3个；
3. 适当使用口号。
海报是用来告知大家有关电影、戏剧、体育比赛等信息或者提倡某些积极健康的行为的带有宣传性质的招贴。一份成功的海报，标题要醒目，内容要简洁明了，力求用最短的文字包含最多的信息。
【习作1】
Research shows that our earth is too hot to fit creatures living in①； actions must be taken to solve this great problem.
Here are some suggestions for us②：
Replace driving cars by walking or riding a bike.
Planting③ more green plants， even at home to reduce carbon dioxide.
More serious laws should be made to control some factories’ polluting by releasing too much harmful gases④.
Developing⑤ science education to support the progress of technology.
Strengthen our country so that it will be powerful enough to take valid measures.
Not to hesitate， join us now！ Our earth needs you！
【点评】
该习作有很多句子可以加以改进：
①此句的本意是用too ... to ... 结构，但是用错了，应是our earth is too hot for creatures to live in；
②for us 多余，删去；
③句是祈使句，开头应用动词原形。planting。④和⑤句中的developing属同类型错误，应分别改为plant和develop；
海报要求是写祈使句，而④句没有使用。④句也有语法错误，本应是做定语的releasing too much harmful gases因为在前面加了by，变成了“通过释放过多的有害气体”。还有一个问题是海报只是起宣传的作用，所以最好不要提及制定法律之类的话题，宣传采取行动比较合适。这句话最好写成take action to control some factories’ pollution。
总观全文，这篇文章把要求写的内容写了，但是缺少标题。作者英文功底较差，对海报的要求也还没有领会。让我们来看看下篇习作。
【习作2】
Global warming
Cause： Over Emission of CO2
Cut down the use of fossil fuel ①
Plant more trees and protect the forests
Take buses instead of driving
Use recyclable products
Save water and electricity
Hand in hand！ We can succeed！
Love the earth， love our home！
【点评】
这篇习作就是篇佳作，亮点有二：
1. 习作达到了海报的要求：简洁明了，同时用简短的语言告诉大家具体要怎么做；
2. 清晰的口号：Hand in hand！ We can succeed！ Love the earth， love our home！
不过，还是有些瑕疵：①处中应是cut down on the use of fossil of CO2。
总而言之，较之上篇习作，该习作确实不失为一篇佳作。
【范文】
Fight global warming
Cut down on energy. Cut down on carbon dioxide
If not using an electrical item， turn it off.
If you suddenly feel cold， don’t turn the heat up， put on a jacket instead.
Walk or ride a bike and save fossil fuels.
Recycle paper， cardboard and newspapers.
Buy products made from recycled materials.
Buy energy-saving products like low energy light bulbs.
Plant trees to absorb CO2.
Tell your friends about global warming.
Every effort counts！