用独特的描写凸显童趣——“嘴里包着半熟山楂,望着彼此黑糊糊的小手”,最具特色的是“包”字!此文内容还需要充实,升格的措施是:文章后面的议论文字,宜改为记叙文字,在描述现实生活中的“糖葫芦”时,叠映童年时某个有关“糖葫芦”的情景——永远怀念。正如荐评者所言,此文主旨多元。升格后,可分别变格为“童趣”或“朴实无华”话题作文,变格的途径是:依据话题,选择糖葫芦相关属性展开描述。 The use of unique descriptions highlights the playfulness of the child--“a mouth full of half-baked mountains, looking at each other’s black hands”. The most distinctive feature is the “package” word! The content of this article needs to be enriched. The measures for promotion are: behind the article. Argumentative writing should be changed to narrative text. When describing the “candied haws” in real life, the scene of “candied cucurbit” that overlaps with childhood is always remembered. As the reviewers say, the main purpose of this article is multiple. After the promotion, they can change their essay into “children’s play” or “simple and unpretentious” topics. The way to change the format is: According to the topic, select the properties related to candied fruit to describe it.