论文部分内容阅读
翻译：小狐
When I was a teenager, I felt like an idiot much of the time. That is true, but it is funny because I had the highest SAT注 score in my class. I also felt like a loser much of the time in anything that had to do with athletics[运动]. That is funny because later in life I was able to ride my bike over a hundred miles in a single day. So the question you may ask is, “What was wrong with this guy when he was a teenager??It is the same thing that is “Wrong?for a huge number of teenagers ?it is a lack of confidence. It is a fundamental disbelief in your own worth, value and abilities.
Accepting Yourself
I know you are looking around you and seeing people and thinking, “He has all this natural athletic talent, and she has all this natural intelligence, and he has…” And that is all true. What you may also be thinking is, And I have none of that, and I’m not really good at anything.?That is not true. You too have a set of natural talents that are just as good and just as important and just as eager to be developed. There is no difference between you and everyone else except for the fact that they have found and accepted and started exploiting their talents, and you have not. Primarily[首要地] the part you are missing is acceptance.
Self-acceptance is, quite simply, accepting yourself as a good and worthwhile person and loving yourself the way you are. When you can do that, you can become confident. There are a number of things you can do to help. They take time, but they are worthwhile:
● Make a big list of your strengths. List all of the things that you are good at. If you can think of absolutely nothing you are good at, then start extremely small. Think, “I am good at setting the table.?How can you not be good at that? Think, “I am good at putting on my socks.?How can you not be good at that? Think, “I really brushed my teeth well this morning.?And so on. Of course you are good at a huge number of things. Make a huge, long list of that. Read it and update it every day.
● Accept compliments[赞扬]. When someone gives you a compliment, any compliment, large or small, for whatever reason, say, “Thank you.?Accept the compliment. Then reflect[仔细考虑] on the compliment and replay it and accept it and understand why you got it. No one gives you a compliment without a reason.
● Confidence can be boosted[增强] by a win or a success, so try to increase the odds[机会] of success. That is one reason why athletes are confident. They win games, and they accept those wins.
Dealing with Mistakes
Some people have a real problem with mistakes replaying in their heads. You are walking along, living your life and this BIG STUPID MISTAKE that you made two years ago replays in your head and makes you feel like an idiot for five minutes. Why does that happen? It happens because you see something or hear something or think something that somehow triggers the memory.
Let it pass. Instead of letting it make you feel bad, just say, `h, here is one of these silly memories replaying itself; let’s just let that tape finish up and then we will load a better one.?Remember that mistakes replay for everyone. You are not alone. Write it down. Keep a journal[日志] and write, my mind replayed that memory of me spilling orange juice on Mary Sue at Kenny’s party and her screaming at me in front of everyone.?Look at it. It happened. That’s life. Get over it. It is meaningless. Next time you will be more careful with your juice.
EVERYONE makes mistakes. Mistakes hurt because they are embarrassing[令人尴尬的]. The difference between confident people and unconfident people is that the confident people say, “Wow, that was dumb. Let’s figure out a way to not do THAT again.?Confident people also are able to laugh at themselves and their occasional stupidity.
Meanwhile, anytime a mistake has the potential to ruin something important, you have the potential for fear or anxiety. This is why we admire great athletes. Think about a golfer. He is on the 18th hole of the Masters Tournament. Fifteen million people are watching. If he makes this putt[把球轻击进洞] he wins. If he misses it he loses. The thing we respect at that moment is not his ability at golf. We honor him for controlling his fear and making the putt.
One thing you can do to control fear is practice. By practicing you build your skills and confidence. You learn about different situations that can arise and you learn how to control them. Eventually, you get to where you have seen all the possible failure points and have faced fear hundreds of times and you can handle it.
Finding Your Way
The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that the successful people keep trying and trying and trying until they succeed. Then we look at them and say, “Oh, that was easy for you!?But it was not. People do occasionally win the lottery[彩票]. That is luck. The rest of the people on this planet work to achieve their goals and dreams. And they work hard. Confidence in your own abilities and self-worth is what gives you the strength to keep slogging[卖力苦干] through the hard times until you see a light that says you are on to something. What’s funny is that if you look at it the right way and recognize it for what it is, the slogging can be interesting. The slogging is what makes the goal worth achieving. You can focus on the journey rather than the destination.
Learn to be confident. It may not work for you today, but I would like for you to think about it. Then come back and read this article again next week. And again the week after that. And keep thinking about it. About 10 weeks from now ?or if you are stubborn[顽固的], 10 years from now ?you will begin to see the light and things will change. It is usually the case that the change to confidence causes a change towards success.
当我只有十几岁时，大多数时候我都觉得自己像个傻瓜。这是事实，但有趣的是，我在SAT考试中拿到了全班最高分。此外，只要面对体育方面的活动，我总会觉得自己像个蠢材；有趣的是，长大后我却可以骑着自行车一天骑一百多英里。所以，你可能会问：“这家伙小时候到底出了什么问题呢？”对于很多青少年来说，他们都面临着同样的问题—缺乏自信心，即完全不相信自己的价值和能力。
接纳自己
我知道你会四处张望，看到别人就会想：“他生来就有体育天赋，她天生就聪明透顶，而他天生就……”这都是事实。你可能也会想：“而我就什么才华都没有，什么都不会。”这并不是事实。其实你自己也具有各种各样的天赋，它们既优秀又重要，正急切地等待你去发掘。你和其他人并没有差别，只是他们更早地发现并接受了自己的天赋，已经开始对其进行开发利用，而你还没有开始而已。最重要的一点，你所缺乏的就是接受你自己。
自我接纳，简单说来，就是接受自己是个优秀的、有价值的人这样的自我认知，爱这样的自己。如果你能这样做，你就会变得自信。你可以做许多事情来达到这一点，也许要花点时间，但这些工夫不会白费：
● 列一张表写下你的强项。写下你所擅长的一切事情。如果你完全想不起自己擅长什么，就从鸡毛蒜皮的小事写起。比如“我很擅长摆餐具。”你怎么可能对这个不在行呢？比如“我很擅长自己穿袜子。”你怎么可能对这个不在行呢？又比如“今天早上我刷牙刷得特别干净。”诸如此类的事情。你一定有很多在行的事情。列一张又大又长的单子。仔细读读它，每天加点新内容。
● 接受所有的称赞。当别人称赞你的时候，无论是什么称赞，无论是大是小，无论是为了什么事情，你都要回答说：“谢谢你。”接受别人的称赞，然后仔细想想，对自己再说几次，接受它，并理解为什么你会得到这样的称赞。没有人会毫无理由地称赞你。
● 一场胜利或一次成功能激发自信心，所以要努力增加成功的机会。那就是为什么运动员们都很自信的原因之一。他们赢得了比赛，并且乐于接受自己的胜利。
应对失误
有些人总会让过去的失误不停地在脑海中盘旋。你一个人走在路上，过着自己的生活，而你两年前犯下的这个愚蠢的大错误在你脑海中不断重演，让你有五分钟觉得自己像个白痴。为什么会发生这样的情况呢？这是因为你看到、听到或想到的某些事情勾起了你的回忆。
过去的就让它过去吧。不要因为过去的事情影响了你的心情，对自己说：“噢，这不过是一个愚蠢的记忆在回放而已。我们就让这带子快点结束吧，然后就可以看一个更好的记忆了。”记住，每个人的心里都会重放过去的错误，你并不是唯一一个受影响的人。将它写下来。学会写日记，并把这一刻写下来：“我的脑海里不断回放着这个情景—在肯尼的派对上，我的橙汁溅到玛丽·苏了，她于是在所有人面前对我大喊大叫起来。”看着这篇日记。它已经发生了。这就是生活。忘记它。它对于你来说毫无意义。下一次端着橙汁的时候你会更小心的。
每个人都会犯错误。错误使人痛苦，因为它们会让人觉得尴尬不已。自信的人与不自信的人的区别，就在于自信的人会说：“噢，我真笨，让我们看看有什么办法下次不再犯那个错误吧。”自信的人还会自嘲，对自己偶尔做的傻事一笑置之。
同时，每当一个错误可能危及某件重要的事情，你就会感到恐惧或焦虑。这也是为什么我们总会钦佩出色的运动员。比如一位高尔夫球手，他正要挑战大师赛的第18洞。一千五百万人在观看这场比赛。如果这个击球成功了，他就能赢。如果失败了，他就会输。在这种情形下，我们钦佩的已经不是他的高尔夫球技巧了。我们钦佩的是他能够控制自己的恐惧感，击出成功的一球。
想控制恐惧感，你要做的就是多加练习。通过练习，你可以锻炼自己的技巧，建立自己的信心。你会明白到经常有不同的状况发生，你要学着去控制情况。最后，当你已经见识了所有可能出现的失败情形，并与恐惧交锋了数百次之后，你就能处理这一切了。
走自己的路
成功人士与失败者之间的区别，就在于成功人士会不断地努力，努力，再努力，直到成功。然后，我们会看着他们说：“噢，那对你们来说真容易！”但事实并非如此。有时候人们确实会买彩票中大奖。那是运气。而这个星球上其余的人都要靠工作来实现自己的目标和梦想。他们都在努力工作。对于自身能力和自我价值的信心会带给你力量，让你在艰难时期艰苦奋斗，直到你看到一线光明，说明你将要到达目的地了。有趣的是，如果你能从正确的角度去看待它并且认识到其本质，这一奋斗的过程将会其乐无穷。艰苦的奋斗过程使我们的目标更值得争取。你应该将眼光放在奋斗的过程而不仅仅是结果上面。
学会相信自己吧。也许你现在还做不到，但我希望你能够好好想一想。然后下个星期再回头读读这篇文章。过一个星期以后再读一遍，然后再想想。从现在起十个星期以后—或者如果你是比较顽固的人，从现在起十年以后—你便会见到光明，一切都会发生变化。变得自信往往就是走向成功的第一步。
When I was a teenager, I felt like an idiot much of the time. That is true, but it is funny because I had the highest SAT注 score in my class. I also felt like a loser much of the time in anything that had to do with athletics[运动]. That is funny because later in life I was able to ride my bike over a hundred miles in a single day. So the question you may ask is, “What was wrong with this guy when he was a teenager??It is the same thing that is “Wrong?for a huge number of teenagers ?it is a lack of confidence. It is a fundamental disbelief in your own worth, value and abilities.
Accepting Yourself
I know you are looking around you and seeing people and thinking, “He has all this natural athletic talent, and she has all this natural intelligence, and he has…” And that is all true. What you may also be thinking is, And I have none of that, and I’m not really good at anything.?That is not true. You too have a set of natural talents that are just as good and just as important and just as eager to be developed. There is no difference between you and everyone else except for the fact that they have found and accepted and started exploiting their talents, and you have not. Primarily[首要地] the part you are missing is acceptance.
Self-acceptance is, quite simply, accepting yourself as a good and worthwhile person and loving yourself the way you are. When you can do that, you can become confident. There are a number of things you can do to help. They take time, but they are worthwhile:
● Make a big list of your strengths. List all of the things that you are good at. If you can think of absolutely nothing you are good at, then start extremely small. Think, “I am good at setting the table.?How can you not be good at that? Think, “I am good at putting on my socks.?How can you not be good at that? Think, “I really brushed my teeth well this morning.?And so on. Of course you are good at a huge number of things. Make a huge, long list of that. Read it and update it every day.
● Accept compliments[赞扬]. When someone gives you a compliment, any compliment, large or small, for whatever reason, say, “Thank you.?Accept the compliment. Then reflect[仔细考虑] on the compliment and replay it and accept it and understand why you got it. No one gives you a compliment without a reason.
● Confidence can be boosted[增强] by a win or a success, so try to increase the odds[机会] of success. That is one reason why athletes are confident. They win games, and they accept those wins.
Dealing with Mistakes
Some people have a real problem with mistakes replaying in their heads. You are walking along, living your life and this BIG STUPID MISTAKE that you made two years ago replays in your head and makes you feel like an idiot for five minutes. Why does that happen? It happens because you see something or hear something or think something that somehow triggers the memory.
Let it pass. Instead of letting it make you feel bad, just say, `h, here is one of these silly memories replaying itself; let’s just let that tape finish up and then we will load a better one.?Remember that mistakes replay for everyone. You are not alone. Write it down. Keep a journal[日志] and write, my mind replayed that memory of me spilling orange juice on Mary Sue at Kenny’s party and her screaming at me in front of everyone.?Look at it. It happened. That’s life. Get over it. It is meaningless. Next time you will be more careful with your juice.
EVERYONE makes mistakes. Mistakes hurt because they are embarrassing[令人尴尬的]. The difference between confident people and unconfident people is that the confident people say, “Wow, that was dumb. Let’s figure out a way to not do THAT again.?Confident people also are able to laugh at themselves and their occasional stupidity.
Meanwhile, anytime a mistake has the potential to ruin something important, you have the potential for fear or anxiety. This is why we admire great athletes. Think about a golfer. He is on the 18th hole of the Masters Tournament. Fifteen million people are watching. If he makes this putt[把球轻击进洞] he wins. If he misses it he loses. The thing we respect at that moment is not his ability at golf. We honor him for controlling his fear and making the putt.
One thing you can do to control fear is practice. By practicing you build your skills and confidence. You learn about different situations that can arise and you learn how to control them. Eventually, you get to where you have seen all the possible failure points and have faced fear hundreds of times and you can handle it.
Finding Your Way
The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that the successful people keep trying and trying and trying until they succeed. Then we look at them and say, “Oh, that was easy for you!?But it was not. People do occasionally win the lottery[彩票]. That is luck. The rest of the people on this planet work to achieve their goals and dreams. And they work hard. Confidence in your own abilities and self-worth is what gives you the strength to keep slogging[卖力苦干] through the hard times until you see a light that says you are on to something. What’s funny is that if you look at it the right way and recognize it for what it is, the slogging can be interesting. The slogging is what makes the goal worth achieving. You can focus on the journey rather than the destination.
Learn to be confident. It may not work for you today, but I would like for you to think about it. Then come back and read this article again next week. And again the week after that. And keep thinking about it. About 10 weeks from now ?or if you are stubborn[顽固的], 10 years from now ?you will begin to see the light and things will change. It is usually the case that the change to confidence causes a change towards success.
当我只有十几岁时，大多数时候我都觉得自己像个傻瓜。这是事实，但有趣的是，我在SAT考试中拿到了全班最高分。此外，只要面对体育方面的活动，我总会觉得自己像个蠢材；有趣的是，长大后我却可以骑着自行车一天骑一百多英里。所以，你可能会问：“这家伙小时候到底出了什么问题呢？”对于很多青少年来说，他们都面临着同样的问题—缺乏自信心，即完全不相信自己的价值和能力。
接纳自己
我知道你会四处张望，看到别人就会想：“他生来就有体育天赋，她天生就聪明透顶，而他天生就……”这都是事实。你可能也会想：“而我就什么才华都没有，什么都不会。”这并不是事实。其实你自己也具有各种各样的天赋，它们既优秀又重要，正急切地等待你去发掘。你和其他人并没有差别，只是他们更早地发现并接受了自己的天赋，已经开始对其进行开发利用，而你还没有开始而已。最重要的一点，你所缺乏的就是接受你自己。
自我接纳，简单说来，就是接受自己是个优秀的、有价值的人这样的自我认知，爱这样的自己。如果你能这样做，你就会变得自信。你可以做许多事情来达到这一点，也许要花点时间，但这些工夫不会白费：
● 列一张表写下你的强项。写下你所擅长的一切事情。如果你完全想不起自己擅长什么，就从鸡毛蒜皮的小事写起。比如“我很擅长摆餐具。”你怎么可能对这个不在行呢？比如“我很擅长自己穿袜子。”你怎么可能对这个不在行呢？又比如“今天早上我刷牙刷得特别干净。”诸如此类的事情。你一定有很多在行的事情。列一张又大又长的单子。仔细读读它，每天加点新内容。
● 接受所有的称赞。当别人称赞你的时候，无论是什么称赞，无论是大是小，无论是为了什么事情，你都要回答说：“谢谢你。”接受别人的称赞，然后仔细想想，对自己再说几次，接受它，并理解为什么你会得到这样的称赞。没有人会毫无理由地称赞你。
● 一场胜利或一次成功能激发自信心，所以要努力增加成功的机会。那就是为什么运动员们都很自信的原因之一。他们赢得了比赛，并且乐于接受自己的胜利。
应对失误
有些人总会让过去的失误不停地在脑海中盘旋。你一个人走在路上，过着自己的生活，而你两年前犯下的这个愚蠢的大错误在你脑海中不断重演，让你有五分钟觉得自己像个白痴。为什么会发生这样的情况呢？这是因为你看到、听到或想到的某些事情勾起了你的回忆。
过去的就让它过去吧。不要因为过去的事情影响了你的心情，对自己说：“噢，这不过是一个愚蠢的记忆在回放而已。我们就让这带子快点结束吧，然后就可以看一个更好的记忆了。”记住，每个人的心里都会重放过去的错误，你并不是唯一一个受影响的人。将它写下来。学会写日记，并把这一刻写下来：“我的脑海里不断回放着这个情景—在肯尼的派对上，我的橙汁溅到玛丽·苏了，她于是在所有人面前对我大喊大叫起来。”看着这篇日记。它已经发生了。这就是生活。忘记它。它对于你来说毫无意义。下一次端着橙汁的时候你会更小心的。
每个人都会犯错误。错误使人痛苦，因为它们会让人觉得尴尬不已。自信的人与不自信的人的区别，就在于自信的人会说：“噢，我真笨，让我们看看有什么办法下次不再犯那个错误吧。”自信的人还会自嘲，对自己偶尔做的傻事一笑置之。
同时，每当一个错误可能危及某件重要的事情，你就会感到恐惧或焦虑。这也是为什么我们总会钦佩出色的运动员。比如一位高尔夫球手，他正要挑战大师赛的第18洞。一千五百万人在观看这场比赛。如果这个击球成功了，他就能赢。如果失败了，他就会输。在这种情形下，我们钦佩的已经不是他的高尔夫球技巧了。我们钦佩的是他能够控制自己的恐惧感，击出成功的一球。
想控制恐惧感，你要做的就是多加练习。通过练习，你可以锻炼自己的技巧，建立自己的信心。你会明白到经常有不同的状况发生，你要学着去控制情况。最后，当你已经见识了所有可能出现的失败情形，并与恐惧交锋了数百次之后，你就能处理这一切了。
走自己的路
成功人士与失败者之间的区别，就在于成功人士会不断地努力，努力，再努力，直到成功。然后，我们会看着他们说：“噢，那对你们来说真容易！”但事实并非如此。有时候人们确实会买彩票中大奖。那是运气。而这个星球上其余的人都要靠工作来实现自己的目标和梦想。他们都在努力工作。对于自身能力和自我价值的信心会带给你力量，让你在艰难时期艰苦奋斗，直到你看到一线光明，说明你将要到达目的地了。有趣的是，如果你能从正确的角度去看待它并且认识到其本质，这一奋斗的过程将会其乐无穷。艰苦的奋斗过程使我们的目标更值得争取。你应该将眼光放在奋斗的过程而不仅仅是结果上面。
学会相信自己吧。也许你现在还做不到，但我希望你能够好好想一想。然后下个星期再回头读读这篇文章。过一个星期以后再读一遍，然后再想想。从现在起十个星期以后—或者如果你是比较顽固的人，从现在起十年以后—你便会见到光明，一切都会发生变化。变得自信往往就是走向成功的第一步。