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Based on the numbers alone, the advantages of online dating services seem obvious. The sites grant access to larger pools of potential dates than you could ever find on your own, and the more people you connect with, the greater the chance is that one of those people could be your 1)soul mate. Some sites even promise “scientific formulas” to create perfect matches, making it sound as if the 2)odds of finding true love are all but guaranteed. Unfortunately, though, just like that certain someone who fails to call for a 3)follow-up date, there are indications these sites don’t come through on their promises.
A team of researchers led by Eli Finkel, a professor of social psychology at 4)Northwestern University, decided to test the claims of dating sites by comparing the likelihood that users would not only find, but also 5)stick with their “online soul mates” for the long haul. Their study, published in Psychological Science and summarized in a New York Times 6)op-ed, concludes that even though as many as 25 million people per month seek matches through online dating services, these individuals are no more likely to find their soul mates than people who 7)hook up with partners through conventional methods—singles’ bars, 8)blind dates, friends of friends.
What’s worse, online dating services make claims that are largely unfounded. Sites may say they use scientific methods and proven 9)algorithms as the basis for matching, but they don’t release the data due to 10)proprietary reasons, or the data they produce don’t fit the criteria for scientific acceptability. Dating sites don’t use 11)controlled studies, for example, which would be nearly impossible to do, anyway. Yet these issues haven’t stopped promoters from making 12)outlandish, unproven claims, such as the 13)bizarre one from GenePartner, a site that says its matchmaking abilities are superior because it incorporates users’DNA: “Now, 14)hard science is making it easier to find true love. A new matchmaking system uses DNA to help find your dream date, and it’s redefining what it means to be compatible.”
Flawed though these sites are, many singles still view them as the best option. And while you can’t put a price on love, you can at least try to spend your money on dating sites in the smartest way possible. With prices ranging from totally free to $60 per month, how can you get the most for your money with online dating services? Some strategies:
Limit your time and your choices. You might assume that the more choices you have, the greater your chances are of finding that one ideal mate. This actually goes 15)counter to psychological research on decision-making. Whether it’s picking a T-shirt from a range of 20 different colors, or finding one online match among thousands,“choice overload” has been proven to lead people to make worse choices. In studies, people tend to make smarter, more sensible picks when selecting from a smaller batch (6 to 10) compared to dozens of options. With a dating site, what’s likely to happen is that you’ll closely 16)scrutinize the first few profiles that 17)pop up in your search, but after that, your brain gets tired. You start skimming, and the search becomes somewhat random. As a result, you may ignore or skip past perfectly good choices. To avoid this problem, limit your searches in terms of profiles and time. Each person works differently, but it’s probably unwise to scan through more than two dozen profiles 18)in a single sitting. If you can’t recall a single thing about a profile seconds after checking it out, it’s time to take a break.
Match up with the right site. One easy way to narrow your options is to choose your site carefully. Large dating sites with upwards of 2.5 million users(eHarmony, PlentyofFish, Match, True) promise more potential dates, but because they are so 19)generic you may have less of a chance of finding someone who shares qualities that you value. It’s okay—good, even—to have fewer choices, so long as they’re better ones. 20)Niche dating sites might be just the answer. Choose one according to your own requirements, such as educational background, acceptable age, salary, etc.
Keep an open mind. Don’t assume right away that someone who misses out on a supposedly key quality (like height) should automatically be eliminated as a prospect. Start with a broader list of criteria, and give yourself enough time to study all of the qualities in a profile to get an overall sense of who the person is. It’d be a shame if someone was off your radar due to height when you and this person have the exact same taste in movies or music.
Don’t buy into the “scientific method” 21)hype. The formulas that sites use don’t 22)stand up to scientific scrutiny. You’re 23)better off using a site that allows you to interact with potential partners sooner rather than later, particularly if you are able to meet them in person. People often form 24)erroneous impressions from online communications. Once formed, these impressions can lead to shattered expectations when you actually come face to face. So, scary as it may seem, try to meet your online choices in person 25)ASAP. The truth is that you can’t substitute scientific formulas or digital communications for the 26)vibes you get when you actually meet someone 27)in the flesh.
The bottom line? If you want Cupid’s arrow to strike you from the online dating cloud, don’t 28)be sucked in by false scientific claims or millions of dating choices. Select the sites that make the most sense for you, don’t overwhelm yourself with too many options, and don’t waste your effort and money on extensive profiling. Know what you want before you 29)log on, but allow yourself to be surprised when the seemingly not-so-perfect choice turns out to the one who rocks your world.
单看数字，网络约会服务的优点看起来很明显。比起你自己去四处寻觅，这些网站有更多的潜在约会对象供你选择，你接触的人越多，在那些人中找到灵魂伴侣的机会便越大。一些网站甚至还承诺用“科学公式”去造就最佳配对，乍听之下，好像找到真爱的可能性都可以得到保证。不幸的是，就像某人见了一面就再没下文那样，结果或许是，这些网站未能兑现其承诺。
由美国西北大学社会心理学教授伊莱·芬克尔带领的一队研究人员决定通过比较约会网站的用户找到并长久保持他们“网上灵魂伴侣关系”的可能性，以检验约会网站所声称的这些承诺。他们的研究结果发表于《心理科学》杂志上，《纽约时报》的一个专栏也对其作了概述报道。该研究总结出，即使每个月有多达2500万的人通过网络约会服务寻找配偶，这些人找到灵魂伴侣的可能性并不比那些通过传统方法，如去单身酒吧、相亲、以及朋友介绍等方式高出多少。
更糟糕的是，网上约会服务所宣称的承诺，大部分都是毫无根据的。这些网站可能会说它们使用科学的方法和已经得到验证的算法作为匹配男女关系的依据，但是，由于专利原因，他们不会透露相关数据，也不会说他们所得出的那些数据并不符合科学理论的标准。譬如，约会网站不会使用对照研究，因为无论以何种方式，对照研究几乎是不可能的。然而这些问题并没有阻止那些宣传员去做一些毫无根据的夸张宣言，就拿GenePartner上其中一条奇异的宣言来说，这个网站声称其配对能力非常杰出，因为其系统能融入用户的基因加以配对：“如今，自然科学让觅得真爱变得易如反掌。这种新的配对系统能利用基因助你找到梦中情人，并重新定义何谓适配度。”
尽管这些网站有着这样或那样的缺陷，但许多单身人士仍然把约会网站视作最佳选择。虽然不能给爱情加上价格标签，但是你至少能够尽可能明智地把钱花在约会网站上。约会网站的消费价格从免费到每月60美元不等，如何才能让你花在网络约会服务上的钱得到最大回报呢？以下是一些策略：
给时间和选择设限。你可能以为选择越多，找到理想伴侣的机会便越大。事实上，这与关于抉择的心理研究恰恰相反。不管是从20件不同颜色的T恤中挑选一件，还是从数千人中找到一个网上对象，“过多选择”已被证明会导致人们做出错误的选择。有关研究表明，相比起数十个选择，人们在选择数量相对少一点（6至10个）的时候能够做出更明智的选择。在约会网站上很可能发生这样的情况，你会详细审阅出现在你搜索结果中的头几个档案，但随后，你的大脑便会变得疲劳。你开始略读，搜索也会变得很随机。结果，你可能会忽略或者跳过一些最佳的选择。为了避免这个问题的出现，你应该在个人档案和时间上限定自己的搜索范围。每个人的情况不同，但是一口气浏览超过二十四份档案是不明智的。如果你在看完一个档案后回想不起前一个档案的任何一项资料，那你就该休息休息了。
找到合适的网站。缩小选择范围的一种简单方法是选择合适的网站。拥有超过250万用户的大型约会网站（如eHarmony、PlentyofFish、Match和True）承诺能够提供更多的潜在约会对象，但是因为这些网站很大众，找到拥有你所看重的特质的人的机会可能更少。选择少一些，是可以的——甚至是好事，只要这些可选择的对象都不错。特色小众约会网站可能就是最佳选择。你可以根据自己的要求，例如学历背景、可接受的年龄、薪酬等去选择一个适合自己的网站。
保持开放的心态。不要因为某人缺少想象中的关键特质（例如身高）而自动将其淘汰。刚开始的时候标准应该放松一些，给自己足够的时间去研究个人档案中的所有特质，从而获得对此人的总体感觉。如果此人与你在电影或音乐上有着几乎相同的品味，却因为身高原因而被你忽略，那将会是一件憾事。
别被所谓“科学方法”的噱头所忽悠。这些网站使用的公式经受不起科学检验。如果你能够使用一个让你能更早地与潜在约会对象进行互动的网站，特别是能够见到本人，那是再好不过了。在网络交流中，人们经常会形成错误的印象。且印象一旦形成，当真正面对面的时候，这些印象便会导致期望破碎。因此，虽然看起来很可怕，但还是请尝试尽快与你的网络潜在约会对象见面吧。事实上，你不能用科学公式或者数字通信去替代与某人真正面对面时所产生的那种共鸣。
个中底线何在？如果你想丘比特的箭穿过网络约会的云雾射中你，那么，不要受困于那些错误的科学宣言或者成千上万的约会选择。挑选你认为最靠谱的网站，不要被太多的选择淹没，不要把你的努力和金钱浪费在海量浏览上。登陆之前先想清楚你想要什么，但也随时向惊喜敞开大门，你可能会发现本来看起来不那么完美的选择，原来就是那个让你欢天喜地的人。
A team of researchers led by Eli Finkel, a professor of social psychology at 4)Northwestern University, decided to test the claims of dating sites by comparing the likelihood that users would not only find, but also 5)stick with their “online soul mates” for the long haul. Their study, published in Psychological Science and summarized in a New York Times 6)op-ed, concludes that even though as many as 25 million people per month seek matches through online dating services, these individuals are no more likely to find their soul mates than people who 7)hook up with partners through conventional methods—singles’ bars, 8)blind dates, friends of friends.
What’s worse, online dating services make claims that are largely unfounded. Sites may say they use scientific methods and proven 9)algorithms as the basis for matching, but they don’t release the data due to 10)proprietary reasons, or the data they produce don’t fit the criteria for scientific acceptability. Dating sites don’t use 11)controlled studies, for example, which would be nearly impossible to do, anyway. Yet these issues haven’t stopped promoters from making 12)outlandish, unproven claims, such as the 13)bizarre one from GenePartner, a site that says its matchmaking abilities are superior because it incorporates users’DNA: “Now, 14)hard science is making it easier to find true love. A new matchmaking system uses DNA to help find your dream date, and it’s redefining what it means to be compatible.”
Flawed though these sites are, many singles still view them as the best option. And while you can’t put a price on love, you can at least try to spend your money on dating sites in the smartest way possible. With prices ranging from totally free to $60 per month, how can you get the most for your money with online dating services? Some strategies:
Limit your time and your choices. You might assume that the more choices you have, the greater your chances are of finding that one ideal mate. This actually goes 15)counter to psychological research on decision-making. Whether it’s picking a T-shirt from a range of 20 different colors, or finding one online match among thousands,“choice overload” has been proven to lead people to make worse choices. In studies, people tend to make smarter, more sensible picks when selecting from a smaller batch (6 to 10) compared to dozens of options. With a dating site, what’s likely to happen is that you’ll closely 16)scrutinize the first few profiles that 17)pop up in your search, but after that, your brain gets tired. You start skimming, and the search becomes somewhat random. As a result, you may ignore or skip past perfectly good choices. To avoid this problem, limit your searches in terms of profiles and time. Each person works differently, but it’s probably unwise to scan through more than two dozen profiles 18)in a single sitting. If you can’t recall a single thing about a profile seconds after checking it out, it’s time to take a break.
Match up with the right site. One easy way to narrow your options is to choose your site carefully. Large dating sites with upwards of 2.5 million users(eHarmony, PlentyofFish, Match, True) promise more potential dates, but because they are so 19)generic you may have less of a chance of finding someone who shares qualities that you value. It’s okay—good, even—to have fewer choices, so long as they’re better ones. 20)Niche dating sites might be just the answer. Choose one according to your own requirements, such as educational background, acceptable age, salary, etc.
Keep an open mind. Don’t assume right away that someone who misses out on a supposedly key quality (like height) should automatically be eliminated as a prospect. Start with a broader list of criteria, and give yourself enough time to study all of the qualities in a profile to get an overall sense of who the person is. It’d be a shame if someone was off your radar due to height when you and this person have the exact same taste in movies or music.
Don’t buy into the “scientific method” 21)hype. The formulas that sites use don’t 22)stand up to scientific scrutiny. You’re 23)better off using a site that allows you to interact with potential partners sooner rather than later, particularly if you are able to meet them in person. People often form 24)erroneous impressions from online communications. Once formed, these impressions can lead to shattered expectations when you actually come face to face. So, scary as it may seem, try to meet your online choices in person 25)ASAP. The truth is that you can’t substitute scientific formulas or digital communications for the 26)vibes you get when you actually meet someone 27)in the flesh.
The bottom line? If you want Cupid’s arrow to strike you from the online dating cloud, don’t 28)be sucked in by false scientific claims or millions of dating choices. Select the sites that make the most sense for you, don’t overwhelm yourself with too many options, and don’t waste your effort and money on extensive profiling. Know what you want before you 29)log on, but allow yourself to be surprised when the seemingly not-so-perfect choice turns out to the one who rocks your world.
单看数字，网络约会服务的优点看起来很明显。比起你自己去四处寻觅，这些网站有更多的潜在约会对象供你选择，你接触的人越多，在那些人中找到灵魂伴侣的机会便越大。一些网站甚至还承诺用“科学公式”去造就最佳配对，乍听之下，好像找到真爱的可能性都可以得到保证。不幸的是，就像某人见了一面就再没下文那样，结果或许是，这些网站未能兑现其承诺。
由美国西北大学社会心理学教授伊莱·芬克尔带领的一队研究人员决定通过比较约会网站的用户找到并长久保持他们“网上灵魂伴侣关系”的可能性，以检验约会网站所声称的这些承诺。他们的研究结果发表于《心理科学》杂志上，《纽约时报》的一个专栏也对其作了概述报道。该研究总结出，即使每个月有多达2500万的人通过网络约会服务寻找配偶，这些人找到灵魂伴侣的可能性并不比那些通过传统方法，如去单身酒吧、相亲、以及朋友介绍等方式高出多少。
更糟糕的是，网上约会服务所宣称的承诺，大部分都是毫无根据的。这些网站可能会说它们使用科学的方法和已经得到验证的算法作为匹配男女关系的依据，但是，由于专利原因，他们不会透露相关数据，也不会说他们所得出的那些数据并不符合科学理论的标准。譬如，约会网站不会使用对照研究，因为无论以何种方式，对照研究几乎是不可能的。然而这些问题并没有阻止那些宣传员去做一些毫无根据的夸张宣言，就拿GenePartner上其中一条奇异的宣言来说，这个网站声称其配对能力非常杰出，因为其系统能融入用户的基因加以配对：“如今，自然科学让觅得真爱变得易如反掌。这种新的配对系统能利用基因助你找到梦中情人，并重新定义何谓适配度。”
尽管这些网站有着这样或那样的缺陷，但许多单身人士仍然把约会网站视作最佳选择。虽然不能给爱情加上价格标签，但是你至少能够尽可能明智地把钱花在约会网站上。约会网站的消费价格从免费到每月60美元不等，如何才能让你花在网络约会服务上的钱得到最大回报呢？以下是一些策略：
给时间和选择设限。你可能以为选择越多，找到理想伴侣的机会便越大。事实上，这与关于抉择的心理研究恰恰相反。不管是从20件不同颜色的T恤中挑选一件，还是从数千人中找到一个网上对象，“过多选择”已被证明会导致人们做出错误的选择。有关研究表明，相比起数十个选择，人们在选择数量相对少一点（6至10个）的时候能够做出更明智的选择。在约会网站上很可能发生这样的情况，你会详细审阅出现在你搜索结果中的头几个档案，但随后，你的大脑便会变得疲劳。你开始略读，搜索也会变得很随机。结果，你可能会忽略或者跳过一些最佳的选择。为了避免这个问题的出现，你应该在个人档案和时间上限定自己的搜索范围。每个人的情况不同，但是一口气浏览超过二十四份档案是不明智的。如果你在看完一个档案后回想不起前一个档案的任何一项资料，那你就该休息休息了。
找到合适的网站。缩小选择范围的一种简单方法是选择合适的网站。拥有超过250万用户的大型约会网站（如eHarmony、PlentyofFish、Match和True）承诺能够提供更多的潜在约会对象，但是因为这些网站很大众，找到拥有你所看重的特质的人的机会可能更少。选择少一些，是可以的——甚至是好事，只要这些可选择的对象都不错。特色小众约会网站可能就是最佳选择。你可以根据自己的要求，例如学历背景、可接受的年龄、薪酬等去选择一个适合自己的网站。
保持开放的心态。不要因为某人缺少想象中的关键特质（例如身高）而自动将其淘汰。刚开始的时候标准应该放松一些，给自己足够的时间去研究个人档案中的所有特质，从而获得对此人的总体感觉。如果此人与你在电影或音乐上有着几乎相同的品味，却因为身高原因而被你忽略，那将会是一件憾事。
别被所谓“科学方法”的噱头所忽悠。这些网站使用的公式经受不起科学检验。如果你能够使用一个让你能更早地与潜在约会对象进行互动的网站，特别是能够见到本人，那是再好不过了。在网络交流中，人们经常会形成错误的印象。且印象一旦形成，当真正面对面的时候，这些印象便会导致期望破碎。因此，虽然看起来很可怕，但还是请尝试尽快与你的网络潜在约会对象见面吧。事实上，你不能用科学公式或者数字通信去替代与某人真正面对面时所产生的那种共鸣。
个中底线何在？如果你想丘比特的箭穿过网络约会的云雾射中你，那么，不要受困于那些错误的科学宣言或者成千上万的约会选择。挑选你认为最靠谱的网站，不要被太多的选择淹没，不要把你的努力和金钱浪费在海量浏览上。登陆之前先想清楚你想要什么，但也随时向惊喜敞开大门，你可能会发现本来看起来不那么完美的选择，原来就是那个让你欢天喜地的人。