电子邮件类作文写作指导

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  【高考真题】
  2008年湖北省英语卷:假设你是卜曼宜,你购买了一部某外国公司生产的手机,因有质量问题,要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点,用英文写一封电子邮件。
  要点:
  1.问题:手机不响铃,不能发短信;该产品已售完,无法更换;型号新,无配件,无法维修。
  2.要求:公司应尽快予以更换。
  注意:
  1.词数为100左右;
  2.参考词汇:配件—spare part;
  3.电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好(不计入你所写的词数);
  4.已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。
  (以下内容不得抄入答题卡)
  Dear Sir,
  I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan,P.R.China ...
   __________________________________
   __________________________________
   __________________________________
   __________________________________
  Thank you for your consideration.
  Sincerely yours,
  Bu Manyi
  
  【写作指导】
  1.认真审题,确定体裁
  电子邮件应属于书信类作文。它要求开始写称谓(The Salutation or Greeting),如Dear Sir,Gentlemen,Dear Mr (Mrs,Miss) Smith等;接着是正文(The Body)部分:如果你是回复客户的询问或请求,应以感谢开头,如“Thank you for your prompt reply”或“Thanks for getting back to me”;如果你是主动写电子邮件给别人,首先就要表明你的意图,如“I am writing to you for ...”;“I’m writing in reference to ...”;正文最后还要写上感谢收信人的礼貌语,如“Thank you for your consideration.”及“I look forward to hearing from you.”;其次是结束语(The complimentary close),如Yours trully,Yours respectfully,Yours sincerely,Yours faithfully等;最后是签名(The signature),附上你的名字。
  根据本试题要求,电子邮件的开头和结尾已给出,考生只需写好正文部分,可以说降低了难度,避免了考生因格式不对而造成失分。
  2.人称时态,心中有数
  历年高考评分标准都对人称、时态的准确使用提出了要求。由于本文是讲述因购买手机有质量问题而要求更换,所以应以第一人称和一般过去时态为主。
  3.理顺要点,润色词句
  理顺要点,防止漏写、乱写以保证内容的完整性,然后将理顺的要点用自己有把握的短语或句型将意思完整地表达出来。要凸显文章亮点,增加得高分机会,还要考虑到语言表达的多样性,既要使用简单句,也要使用结构复杂的复合句、并列句;措词要讲究,既要会使用普通词语,也要能使用高级词汇。
  4.有效衔接,串句成篇
  正确地选用关联词,如however,what’s more,and,but,first,then,after等,使文章过渡自然,和谐统一,增强了文章的连贯性、流畅性和可读性。
  
  【范文选登】
  Dear Sir,
  I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan,P.R.China.Ten days after that,it didn’t ring and send short messages.Then I took it to the seller,but was told that the model had been sold out and I had to wait at least three months for a new one.Later I went to the repairman.He said since it was a new model in China,it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts.I was so desperate on hearing that.How can I wait that long? Therefore,I require that you send me a new one of the same model within a month.
  Thank you for your consideration.
  Sincerely yours,
  Bu Man
  
  【精彩回放】
  亮点1:过渡词的巧妙使用,如ten days after that,then,but,later,on hearing that,therefore,这些词或短语环环相扣,令读者对后续的句子产生了一种心理上的期待和准备,使整篇文章如行云流水一样,浑然一体,一气呵成。
  亮点2:句式多样化,使文章异彩纷呈,表现出熟练驾驭英语语言的高超能力。如被动语态:but was told that;had been sold out;复合句:I require that you send me a new one ...;反问句:how can I wait that long?固定句型:it was impossible to fix it ...。
  亮点3:灵活地转变表达方式,避免了机械地翻译,适当地发挥想像,拓展了写作的空间,如“无法更换”,并没有直译成“it can’t be changed”,而是用第一人称译成:“I had to wait at least three months for a new one”.这样就把“我”这种被迫等待的无奈与焦急的心情表现得淋漓尽致了! ★
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