或许自己内心对于手术还是很怕的,夜深了依旧无法入眠。清早早醒了无法再入睡。似乎要用文字宣泄些什么。16年前手术后,感觉自己记忆力似乎下降了,不知这次手术后又会忘却些什么。似乎内心在告别着什么,又在祭奠着什么,好像有些东西会随着手术刀的划下成为过去。有一种青春被割喉的感觉,不知该喜还是悲,终究化为一种慈悲怜悯 Maybe my heart is still scared of surgery, late at night still can not sleep. Early morning wake up can not sleep again. Seems to use words to vent something. 16 years ago after surgery, I feel memory seems to have dropped, I do not know after surgery this will forget what. Seems to say nothing of the heart, but also in the memorial ceremony, as if something will be scored with the scalpel into the past. There is a feeling of youth being cut throat, I do not know the hi or sad, after all, into a kind of compassion