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习作题目
假设你的名字叫李华,今年18岁,想利用暑假打工,你在报纸上看到了某咖啡厅的招聘广告。请根据报纸内容写一封120~150字的求职信。
注意:1. 图下框内为李华个人的相关信息;
2. 信的开头已为你写好,不计入总词数。
TEMPORARY JOB OFFER
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
学生习作1
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position of a waiter in the city centre café.
I’m 18 and I have an excellent ability to communicate with different people. Being friendly and helpful, I’ve won a good reputation among my friends. Since I’m in my summer vacation now, I’ll be free on weekdays.
When it comes to previous experience, I should say, I’m exactly the right person to be offered this working position. Student as I am, I’ve made full use of my vacation time to accumulate working experience. I used to work in different fast-food restaurants every summer, which turned me into an experienced part-time waiter with an working experience of 6 months in total.
I would cherish this precious opportunity if you offer it to me. I’m looking forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
山东高考英语书面表达评分标准:
二档(优秀:26~29分)评分要求:
紧扣主题,覆盖所有要点,内容充实,语法结构多样,词汇丰富,显示出较强的语言运用能力;语言小错不超过4个。
三档(良好:22~25分)评分要求:
紧扣主题,覆盖所有要点,内容较充实,语言有少量错误,但基本不影响意思表达。
习作点评
该习作行文流畅,共128个单词,不失是一篇优秀的习作。
从语篇结构来看,习作结构严谨,共分三个部分,开头提出了写信的目的,即申请侍者职位,习作的主体部分根据招聘启事的要求介绍了自己的优势,结尾段紧扣应聘侍者这一主题,表达了自己对这一职位的渴望。所写的求职信切题达意,结构合理,首尾照应。
从习作内容来看,全文要点齐全,介绍了自己求职的优势,如人际交往、性格、时间、经验等,内容充实。
从语言运用来看,考生语言表达流畅,在用词、连句、过渡词的使用、句法等方面比较到位,基本上没有用词、句子结构错误,考生运用了较高级的词汇,如:previous,accumulate, cherish, precious; communicate with, win a good reputation, make full use of, used to, turn… into, in total等,用词准确,表意清楚。考生还用了较为复杂的句子结构,灵活地表达自己的思想,如:Being friendly and helpful, … Since I’m in my summer vacation now, …When it comes to previous experience, …Student as I am, I’ve made full use of my vacation time to accumulate working experience.…,which turned me into an experienced…, I would cherish this previous opportunity if you offer it to me.本文中用了分词短语作原因状语,倒装句,非限制性定语从句等高级句型结构,用得非常到位。像Student as I am…一句,考生使用了让步状语从句的倒装句式,既能有效地承接上句,又突出强调了“尽管我还是个学生,却充分利用假期打工积累工作经验。”能够给招聘人员留下深刻的印象,引起他们的注意,从而达到求职目的。一般来说,句子在形式上的多样化可以强化表达的力度,增添文采,增加可读性。句子长短、结构的复杂程度并无优劣之分,但如果一味地使用简单句,读起来读者会感到缺乏起伏,平淡无味,从而影响文章的整体效果。如果考生对使用复杂、多变的句子没有把握,那就应该谨慎使用,以免出现不应该的语法错误。
该习作得分应在28~29分之间,是一篇非常优秀的学生习作,全文没有出现大小写、标点符号的使用错误,书写工整、规范,给读者以美的享受。考生能在有限的考试时间内出色完成写作任务,展现了考生扎实的语言功底。
但习作中也有个别小的错误,如:I’m in my summer vacation应改I’m on summer vacation, an working experience中的an改为a。
学生习作2
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position to serve as a part-time waiter. Now let me introduce myself to you briefly.
I’m Li Hua, 18, willing to take a part-time job during summer vacation to paint my holiday more colorful. I’m free during the week and can help a lot when needed. Having worked in afast-food restaurant for three months, I’ve already gained rich working experiences, which would be valuable for this. With great enthusiasm, I regard serving people as an enjoyable relaxation, for I’m easy-going and most helpful.
Now I’m longing for the colorful life working in your café. Will you be so kind as to give me a satisfactory reply that I can jump with joy?
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
习作点评
该习作结构完整,开头和结尾写得比较流畅,内容要点齐全,基本满足了招聘启事所要求的条件。考生也运用了一些比较复杂的句子结构,如:be willing to do,to paint my holiday more colorful动词不定式短语作目的状语,…when needed状语从句的省略,“Having worked in a fast-food restaurant for three months, I’ve already gained rich working experiences, which would be valuable for this.”一句用了现在分词作原因状语以及非限制性定语从句,…working in your café现在分词短语作伴随状语,Will you be so kind as to…习作中有很多亮点。
习作得分约22分。与习作1相比还有较大差距,该习作共112个词,与要求的120~150还有点差距,考生应多点笔墨介绍自己的求职优势,使内容更加充实。另外,考生在遣词、造句等方面还存在一些问题,现简述如下。
在词汇运用方面,要注意区分可数与不可数名词,如:experiences应改为experience,experience作可数名词用时,表示“经历”,不可数意为“经验”,an enjoyable relaxation中relaxation是不可数名词;在使用代词和名词时,应注意指代清楚,像第二段第二句中的this指代不清,应改为the job/ the position。
有些表达似乎还受汉语思维的影响,如paint my holiday more colorful,Will you be so kind as to give me a satisfactory reply that I can jump with joy? 考生应注意语言积累,学习用地道的英语表达自己的思想。
范文示例
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position of a part-time waiter, as was advertised in the newspaper. I am an eighteen-year-old student studying at Senior High school.
As the summer vocation is coming, I hope to get a job to help me to gain some social experience and enrich my life.
I am quite qualified for the position because I once worked as a waiter for three months in a fast-food restaurant in my spare time. I’m outgoing, friendly as well as helpful, which I think will help me a lot in dealing with different customers. Besides, I can play the piano well and it can surely build up a warmer and more friendly atmosphere in the cafe. I’m available during the week so I have enough time for the work.
I would be available for an interview at any time and I look forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
假设你的名字叫李华,今年18岁,想利用暑假打工,你在报纸上看到了某咖啡厅的招聘广告。请根据报纸内容写一封120~150字的求职信。
注意:1. 图下框内为李华个人的相关信息;
2. 信的开头已为你写好,不计入总词数。
TEMPORARY JOB OFFER
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
学生习作1
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position of a waiter in the city centre café.
I’m 18 and I have an excellent ability to communicate with different people. Being friendly and helpful, I’ve won a good reputation among my friends. Since I’m in my summer vacation now, I’ll be free on weekdays.
When it comes to previous experience, I should say, I’m exactly the right person to be offered this working position. Student as I am, I’ve made full use of my vacation time to accumulate working experience. I used to work in different fast-food restaurants every summer, which turned me into an experienced part-time waiter with an working experience of 6 months in total.
I would cherish this precious opportunity if you offer it to me. I’m looking forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
山东高考英语书面表达评分标准:
二档(优秀:26~29分)评分要求:
紧扣主题,覆盖所有要点,内容充实,语法结构多样,词汇丰富,显示出较强的语言运用能力;语言小错不超过4个。
三档(良好:22~25分)评分要求:
紧扣主题,覆盖所有要点,内容较充实,语言有少量错误,但基本不影响意思表达。
习作点评
该习作行文流畅,共128个单词,不失是一篇优秀的习作。
从语篇结构来看,习作结构严谨,共分三个部分,开头提出了写信的目的,即申请侍者职位,习作的主体部分根据招聘启事的要求介绍了自己的优势,结尾段紧扣应聘侍者这一主题,表达了自己对这一职位的渴望。所写的求职信切题达意,结构合理,首尾照应。
从习作内容来看,全文要点齐全,介绍了自己求职的优势,如人际交往、性格、时间、经验等,内容充实。
从语言运用来看,考生语言表达流畅,在用词、连句、过渡词的使用、句法等方面比较到位,基本上没有用词、句子结构错误,考生运用了较高级的词汇,如:previous,accumulate, cherish, precious; communicate with, win a good reputation, make full use of, used to, turn… into, in total等,用词准确,表意清楚。考生还用了较为复杂的句子结构,灵活地表达自己的思想,如:Being friendly and helpful, … Since I’m in my summer vacation now, …When it comes to previous experience, …Student as I am, I’ve made full use of my vacation time to accumulate working experience.…,which turned me into an experienced…, I would cherish this previous opportunity if you offer it to me.本文中用了分词短语作原因状语,倒装句,非限制性定语从句等高级句型结构,用得非常到位。像Student as I am…一句,考生使用了让步状语从句的倒装句式,既能有效地承接上句,又突出强调了“尽管我还是个学生,却充分利用假期打工积累工作经验。”能够给招聘人员留下深刻的印象,引起他们的注意,从而达到求职目的。一般来说,句子在形式上的多样化可以强化表达的力度,增添文采,增加可读性。句子长短、结构的复杂程度并无优劣之分,但如果一味地使用简单句,读起来读者会感到缺乏起伏,平淡无味,从而影响文章的整体效果。如果考生对使用复杂、多变的句子没有把握,那就应该谨慎使用,以免出现不应该的语法错误。
该习作得分应在28~29分之间,是一篇非常优秀的学生习作,全文没有出现大小写、标点符号的使用错误,书写工整、规范,给读者以美的享受。考生能在有限的考试时间内出色完成写作任务,展现了考生扎实的语言功底。
但习作中也有个别小的错误,如:I’m in my summer vacation应改I’m on summer vacation, an working experience中的an改为a。
学生习作2
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position to serve as a part-time waiter. Now let me introduce myself to you briefly.
I’m Li Hua, 18, willing to take a part-time job during summer vacation to paint my holiday more colorful. I’m free during the week and can help a lot when needed. Having worked in afast-food restaurant for three months, I’ve already gained rich working experiences, which would be valuable for this. With great enthusiasm, I regard serving people as an enjoyable relaxation, for I’m easy-going and most helpful.
Now I’m longing for the colorful life working in your café. Will you be so kind as to give me a satisfactory reply that I can jump with joy?
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
习作点评
该习作结构完整,开头和结尾写得比较流畅,内容要点齐全,基本满足了招聘启事所要求的条件。考生也运用了一些比较复杂的句子结构,如:be willing to do,to paint my holiday more colorful动词不定式短语作目的状语,…when needed状语从句的省略,“Having worked in a fast-food restaurant for three months, I’ve already gained rich working experiences, which would be valuable for this.”一句用了现在分词作原因状语以及非限制性定语从句,…working in your café现在分词短语作伴随状语,Will you be so kind as to…习作中有很多亮点。
习作得分约22分。与习作1相比还有较大差距,该习作共112个词,与要求的120~150还有点差距,考生应多点笔墨介绍自己的求职优势,使内容更加充实。另外,考生在遣词、造句等方面还存在一些问题,现简述如下。
在词汇运用方面,要注意区分可数与不可数名词,如:experiences应改为experience,experience作可数名词用时,表示“经历”,不可数意为“经验”,an enjoyable relaxation中relaxation是不可数名词;在使用代词和名词时,应注意指代清楚,像第二段第二句中的this指代不清,应改为the job/ the position。
有些表达似乎还受汉语思维的影响,如paint my holiday more colorful,Will you be so kind as to give me a satisfactory reply that I can jump with joy? 考生应注意语言积累,学习用地道的英语表达自己的思想。
范文示例
Dear sir,
I would like to apply for the position of a part-time waiter, as was advertised in the newspaper. I am an eighteen-year-old student studying at Senior High school.
As the summer vocation is coming, I hope to get a job to help me to gain some social experience and enrich my life.
I am quite qualified for the position because I once worked as a waiter for three months in a fast-food restaurant in my spare time. I’m outgoing, friendly as well as helpful, which I think will help me a lot in dealing with different customers. Besides, I can play the piano well and it can surely build up a warmer and more friendly atmosphere in the cafe. I’m available during the week so I have enough time for the work.
I would be available for an interview at any time and I look forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua