JOKES

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  What the Baby Wants
  
  I was travelling in a bus yesterday. Sitting opposite me(在我对面)was a lady with a small child, and the little boy was crying bitterly.
  In vain(无效)the mother tried to calm(使平静)the boy, and at last the gentleman sitting next to her said angrily,“Oh, how that child cries!Why don’t you let it have what it wants?”
  “I would if I could,” replied the mother quietly,“but he wants your funny hat.”
  
  Leading Questions
  
  Teacher:Billie, what does C-A-T spell?
  Billy:I don’t know, Sir.
  Teacher:What does your mother keep to catch mice?
  Billy:A trap(捉鼠夹), Sir.
  Teacher:No. What animal is fond of milk?
  Billy:The baby, Sir.
  Teacher:You stupid! What was it that scratched(抓破)your sister’s face?
  Billy:My nails(指甲),Sir.
  Teacher:You’re putting me out of patience(失去耐心)!Do you see that animal in the yard? Then tell me, what does C-A-T spell?
  Billy:Kitten(小猫), Sir.
  
  A Good Idea
  
  The boss arrived at his office with a terrible headache.“That’s funny, boss,”commented an employee(雇员).“A few days ago I had a terrible headache too, but it didn’t last long. My wife pulled me over the sofa, gave me a big hug and a kiss. My headache went away.”
  The boss put on his hat.“That must be a good idea. I’ve tried everything else.”he muttered(嘀咕).“Is your wife home now?”
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小时候  童年是春天的锦绣  花丛中飞舞着快乐的蜂蝶  不懂忧愁,不愿意忧愁    小学时  童年是夏天的池塘  荷叶下荡漾着友谊的清涟  不知成长,憧憬着成长    后来啊  童年是秋天的果树  硕果里充满了甜蜜的积淀  不明世事,揣测着世事    现在啊  童年是冬天的银装  白雪下流淌着回忆的清泉  不愿告别,不得不告别
一    江月转学来时,我正好去参加中学生作文竞赛了。回来的当天晚上,死党杨艳就打电话给我,说班上来了个天使般的美女,还说我的“班花”位置可能就此不保。  杨艳絮絮叨叨说了半天。我听得怒火中烧,于是就说:“她长翅膀吗?”  “什么翅膀呀?”杨艳疑惑地问。“你不是说她是天使吗?哪有天使不长翅膀的?”我说。杨艳终于听明白了我的弦外音,急忙改口说:“不过我还是觉得你更漂亮一些,气质也更好。”“好啦,杨艳
“吸进来,呼出去”,这六个字,是我在一座寺院迎门的颓壁上读到的,无意间一抬眼,不知为何,这个藏在满墙文字汪洋中的句子竟自己浮凸出来,要我认出它。仿佛被久候的人轻轻拍了一下肩膀,心一动——噢,你终是来了。薄薄的欢喜,登时掠过忧伤的心堤,是一种松绑的感觉。然而,我却不曾滞留,目光挪开的当儿,脚步已然随着众人走远。  春光正好。游寺院的时候,心里一直默诵着那六个字——“吸进来,呼出去”。默诵“吸进来”的