My Grandpa’s Birthday

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  【栏目要求】
  1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
  3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
  5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
  投稿邮箱: [email protected][email protected]
  来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
  本 期 点 评 名 师
  张超 男,河北省衡水市阜城县古城中学英语一级教师,市英语优秀教师,县骨干教师,从事英语教育教学工作多年。曾在《中学生英语》、《学英语》、《英语周报》、《初中生周报》、《中学生英语读写》、《中学英语园地》、《英语辅导》、《校园英语》、《中学生语数外》等省级以上报刊发表文章数百篇,并有多篇论文获奖;曾参与高中版教辅资料《天天向上》、《三维方案》的编写工作;荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号;多次辅导学生在省、市和国家级英语竞赛中多人获奖。
  My Grandpa’s Birthday
  It was April 12th last Sunday, my Grandpa’s birthday. My father, my mother and I went to visit him. He lives and① my uncle in the village which is not too far away from my home. Early in the morning we bought some presents and took a bus to get there.
  Grandpa and uncle were so glad to see us. We gave the presents to Grandpa and he was very happy. Then we sat down to talk happily while my mother went to prepare for② lunch with my aunt. The meal was so delicious that we all enjoyed it very much. In the evening, we held a small birthday party. We were all happy. At the end of the party, we ate noodles instead of cakes because eating noodles means living long in China. We hope③ Grandpa good health and a happy life.
  At six, we said goodbye and went home.
  河北省阜城县古城中学9年级(2)班 寇颖慧
  1. 优点:
  小作者语言丰富,表达清晰自然,叙事完整细致,感情充沛,能熟練运用所学的知识,是一篇不错的习作。
  2. 需要修改的地方:
  ① and改为with。and是连词,而with是介词,with短语在此处作状语。
  ② prepare for改为prepare。prepare for表示“为……做准备”,而prepare表示“准备”。
  ③ hope改为wish。wish表示“祝愿”,而hope表示“希望”。
  3. 评分:
  按照中考英语作文满分20分的标准,本文修改前可得18分。
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