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A.高考英语图画类作文命题——2015北卷
假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序,介绍在“传统文化进校园”活动中,向面人艺术家学习捏面人的过程,并以“A Day with a Craftsman”为题,给校刊“英语角”写一篇英文稿件。
注意:词数不少于60。
提示词:一个面团a piece of dough
面人dough figurine
B.运愿三个分数档次的学生习作
阅卷点评:
这是一篇典型的不及格高考作文,其中的错误也具有普遍性,主要问题如下:
1.语法错误,受汉语表达影响严重。包括:时态混乱(本文是记叙文,应该用过去时,但此文句子谓语动词几乎都是原型,用了过去时的也变形错误如tryed);冠词乱用(old前面应该用an,classroom是特指,前面应该有the);代词错误(ourself);名词单复数错误(activity);句子结构不完整(can前面没有主语);动词不定式错误(making应为make)等。
2.要点不全,词数不够。考生几乎是在凑词数,勉强达到词数最低要求。考生看图不仔细,忽略了不少重要细节,如“仔细观察艺术家做面人”“面人艺术家指导做面人”“把作品摆放在桌子上与艺术家合影留念”等。
3.表达肤浅、干涩无味、不连贯、缺乏逻辑性。句子之间鲜有逻辑连词,类似于初一、二甚至小学生写的英语流水账作文。
4.没有按照要点进行适当分段,缺乏层次性,不能让人对内容一目了然。高考阅卷时间紧、任务重,阅卷老师最不喜欢这种一锅粥似的作文。
总之,该考生基础较差,缺乏基本的英语思维,观察不细致,没有完成写作任务要求,不修改前满分20分的作文应该在8-11分之间。
b.及格作文
Last Friday, an old craftsman was invited to our class to teach us how to make dough figurines,which was aimed at promoting the Chinese culture.
When the craftsman came into the class, we gave him a warm welcome. Two boys carried his tool box behind him. Then he started to show us in the detail how to make figurines. All of us watched attentively in order to remember all the procedures. Later on, we tried to do it ourselves with his patient help. We made small animals like pigs, dogs and birds with dough, all of which looked vivid.
Two hours had passed before we knew it At last,we succeeded in making our own dough figurines.We took photos with the craftsman. We were allexcited because we had a better understanding of our own traditional culture.
阅卷点评:
这篇作文虽然出现错误,但是要点基本齐全、内容较为完整,因而是一篇比较合格的作文。具体分析如下:
1.亮点。考生能够按照要点内容合理分段,用一些简单的词语、句式或语法结构。如be aimed at,promote/attentively have a better understanding of something等。
2.语法及表达错误。定语从句,个别短语如in detail/ with one’s help;句型如succeed in doing;系动词look后面跟形容词等。这说明考生有一定英语表达基础与英语思维,但是不够准确全面。
综合以上分析,这篇总分为20分的短文可得12-14分。
c.高分作文
Early in the morning, an old craftsman entered our class, followed by two boys from our class bringing a large box. While clapping our hands, we all wondered what it was that it contained.
Shortly after he sat down, the craftsman opened the box, took out some tools and materi-als and began to show us how to make a dough figurine. It was very kind of him to explain every step to us. So careful and curious were we that we quickly became fond of it. Then we started to make our own dough figurines, and meanwhile the craftsman kept giving us instructions with patience. An hour later, we all finished our own pieces, including a panda, a spacecraft, and many others,and laughter of excitement and achievement filled the classroom. We thanked the craftsman a lot and took a group photo with him.
From this experience,l learned that it was important that we protect our traditional culture.What a meaningful day it was!
阅卷点评:
这篇作文要点齐全、捕写细致、重点突出、层次分明、句式多样、亮点频出、语言地道、自然流畅,可谓酣畅淋漓、一气呵成!充分说明该考生具备相当高的英语思维能力与深厚的语言知识积累,这样一篇佳作得满分是当之无愧的。作文主要亮点如下:
1.运用了非谓语动词(如followed by two boys from our class bringing a large box),虚拟语气(…it is important that we protect our traditional culture),状语从句(Shortly after he sat down),名词性从句和强调句型(...we all wondered what it was that it contained),倒装句(So careful and curious were we that we quickly became fond of doing it),感叹句(What a meaningful day it was!)等。
2.使用了高级词汇(如meanwhile,achievement),经典句型(lt was very kind of him to...),固定短语如became fond of,kept giving等。
C.高考图画、漫画类写作高分要诀
高考图画、漫画类写作题目一般由一至四副讽刺幽默、哲理或叙事漫画组成,如2015年福建卷是一副“凿壁偷光”的漫画,2015年上海卷给出三副关于“读书节”的漫画,让学生任选一副写作。
图画、漫画类写作要求考生通过捕述画面,揭示其中所蕴含的寓意,并适当联系现实生活,从而达到讽刺某种现象、教育或启发人们的目的。需要明确的是,这类作文所揭示的主题即寓意一般只有一个,抛开这一主题就等于跑题,这是图画、漫画类写作的关键所在。
图画、漫画类写作“四步法”
第一步:仔细观察、捕捉画面细节,确定表达要点。要注意每个画面中人物的形体、表情、动作等,揣摩立意,合理想象,揣测人物的内心活动。观察周围环境,确定事件发生的时间、地点等,
第二步:根据题目要求及图片内容确定文章人称、时态等,用简单的句子写出每幅图画的主题句即提纲。
第三步:连句成篇。美化、扩展刚才的简单主题句,根据需要增添复杂语法、句式等等,利用表示转折、因果、选择等关系的连词,使句子、段落之间衔接自然。
第四步:检查有无语法及书写错误等。
D.图画、漫画类写作常用句型《仅供参考):
开头常用句型 :This is a picture about.../In the picture we can see.../From the picture it can be seen that.../We can learn from the picture that.../The picture shows that...
过渡常用句型:The picture sets me thinking deeply.../After seeing the picture, I was greatly shocked by.../This sight reminds me of something in my life...
结尾常用句型 :From this experience, I learned that.../We can draw a conclusion that.../The story tells us that.../The story teaches us a lesson that.../In my opinion.../As the proverb says...
假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序,介绍在“传统文化进校园”活动中,向面人艺术家学习捏面人的过程,并以“A Day with a Craftsman”为题,给校刊“英语角”写一篇英文稿件。
注意:词数不少于60。
提示词:一个面团a piece of dough
面人dough figurine
B.运愿三个分数档次的学生习作
阅卷点评:
这是一篇典型的不及格高考作文,其中的错误也具有普遍性,主要问题如下:
1.语法错误,受汉语表达影响严重。包括:时态混乱(本文是记叙文,应该用过去时,但此文句子谓语动词几乎都是原型,用了过去时的也变形错误如tryed);冠词乱用(old前面应该用an,classroom是特指,前面应该有the);代词错误(ourself);名词单复数错误(activity);句子结构不完整(can前面没有主语);动词不定式错误(making应为make)等。
2.要点不全,词数不够。考生几乎是在凑词数,勉强达到词数最低要求。考生看图不仔细,忽略了不少重要细节,如“仔细观察艺术家做面人”“面人艺术家指导做面人”“把作品摆放在桌子上与艺术家合影留念”等。
3.表达肤浅、干涩无味、不连贯、缺乏逻辑性。句子之间鲜有逻辑连词,类似于初一、二甚至小学生写的英语流水账作文。
4.没有按照要点进行适当分段,缺乏层次性,不能让人对内容一目了然。高考阅卷时间紧、任务重,阅卷老师最不喜欢这种一锅粥似的作文。
总之,该考生基础较差,缺乏基本的英语思维,观察不细致,没有完成写作任务要求,不修改前满分20分的作文应该在8-11分之间。
b.及格作文
Last Friday, an old craftsman was invited to our class to teach us how to make dough figurines,which was aimed at promoting the Chinese culture.
When the craftsman came into the class, we gave him a warm welcome. Two boys carried his tool box behind him. Then he started to show us in the detail how to make figurines. All of us watched attentively in order to remember all the procedures. Later on, we tried to do it ourselves with his patient help. We made small animals like pigs, dogs and birds with dough, all of which looked vivid.
Two hours had passed before we knew it At last,we succeeded in making our own dough figurines.We took photos with the craftsman. We were allexcited because we had a better understanding of our own traditional culture.
阅卷点评:
这篇作文虽然出现错误,但是要点基本齐全、内容较为完整,因而是一篇比较合格的作文。具体分析如下:
1.亮点。考生能够按照要点内容合理分段,用一些简单的词语、句式或语法结构。如be aimed at,promote/attentively have a better understanding of something等。
2.语法及表达错误。定语从句,个别短语如in detail/ with one’s help;句型如succeed in doing;系动词look后面跟形容词等。这说明考生有一定英语表达基础与英语思维,但是不够准确全面。
综合以上分析,这篇总分为20分的短文可得12-14分。
c.高分作文
Early in the morning, an old craftsman entered our class, followed by two boys from our class bringing a large box. While clapping our hands, we all wondered what it was that it contained.
Shortly after he sat down, the craftsman opened the box, took out some tools and materi-als and began to show us how to make a dough figurine. It was very kind of him to explain every step to us. So careful and curious were we that we quickly became fond of it. Then we started to make our own dough figurines, and meanwhile the craftsman kept giving us instructions with patience. An hour later, we all finished our own pieces, including a panda, a spacecraft, and many others,and laughter of excitement and achievement filled the classroom. We thanked the craftsman a lot and took a group photo with him.
From this experience,l learned that it was important that we protect our traditional culture.What a meaningful day it was!
阅卷点评:
这篇作文要点齐全、捕写细致、重点突出、层次分明、句式多样、亮点频出、语言地道、自然流畅,可谓酣畅淋漓、一气呵成!充分说明该考生具备相当高的英语思维能力与深厚的语言知识积累,这样一篇佳作得满分是当之无愧的。作文主要亮点如下:
1.运用了非谓语动词(如followed by two boys from our class bringing a large box),虚拟语气(…it is important that we protect our traditional culture),状语从句(Shortly after he sat down),名词性从句和强调句型(...we all wondered what it was that it contained),倒装句(So careful and curious were we that we quickly became fond of doing it),感叹句(What a meaningful day it was!)等。
2.使用了高级词汇(如meanwhile,achievement),经典句型(lt was very kind of him to...),固定短语如became fond of,kept giving等。
C.高考图画、漫画类写作高分要诀
高考图画、漫画类写作题目一般由一至四副讽刺幽默、哲理或叙事漫画组成,如2015年福建卷是一副“凿壁偷光”的漫画,2015年上海卷给出三副关于“读书节”的漫画,让学生任选一副写作。
图画、漫画类写作要求考生通过捕述画面,揭示其中所蕴含的寓意,并适当联系现实生活,从而达到讽刺某种现象、教育或启发人们的目的。需要明确的是,这类作文所揭示的主题即寓意一般只有一个,抛开这一主题就等于跑题,这是图画、漫画类写作的关键所在。
图画、漫画类写作“四步法”
第一步:仔细观察、捕捉画面细节,确定表达要点。要注意每个画面中人物的形体、表情、动作等,揣摩立意,合理想象,揣测人物的内心活动。观察周围环境,确定事件发生的时间、地点等,
第二步:根据题目要求及图片内容确定文章人称、时态等,用简单的句子写出每幅图画的主题句即提纲。
第三步:连句成篇。美化、扩展刚才的简单主题句,根据需要增添复杂语法、句式等等,利用表示转折、因果、选择等关系的连词,使句子、段落之间衔接自然。
第四步:检查有无语法及书写错误等。
D.图画、漫画类写作常用句型《仅供参考):
开头常用句型 :This is a picture about.../In the picture we can see.../From the picture it can be seen that.../We can learn from the picture that.../The picture shows that...
过渡常用句型:The picture sets me thinking deeply.../After seeing the picture, I was greatly shocked by.../This sight reminds me of something in my life...
结尾常用句型 :From this experience, I learned that.../We can draw a conclusion that.../The story tells us that.../The story teaches us a lesson that.../In my opinion.../As the proverb says...