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My Chinese Wife and I recently went to a friend’s house for dinner. They were celebrating their 10 year wedding anniversary， although they lived together for another 5 years prior. Invited that evening were 3 other couples， all doctors and doctors’ wives （2 of the wives were also doctors）.
The couple celebrating their anniversary are a very loving couple， he being a surgeon and she a stay-at-home mother. They are very compatible， although quite different in many respects. Their ongoing adoration of each other is quite 1）palpable， and quite refreshing to experience. During dinner， the conversation naturally turned to the other relationships in the room， and eventually to mine.
I was asked what it was that first attracted me to my wife， and I responded in what is probably a typical male fashion， stuck for words but then falling back on the typical qualities such as sense of humour， looks， emotional connection and a sense of compatibility.
Well， then it was my wife’s turn， and I could hear the whole room quiet down as she was asked what she found most appealing about me when we first met， and what it was that made her consider marrying me.
Naive me， I thought she would say that she thought we were compatible， that I was caring and loving to her needs， that I was a good provider and responsible， and maybe， just maybe that she felt that she loved me.
Instead， my wife responded by saying： “I liked the fact that he was left-handed， and that he had blue eyes and blonde hair. We Chinese admire those physical traits.” When further prompted about the qualities in me that she liked， she continued： “I liked the fact that he was a doctor. I knew that all my friends and extended family would be jealous of me if I married a doctor.”
Everyone at the dinner table smiled， out of politeness I think， but I think my poor wife simply didn’t realise that she was being asked for human qualities， not 2）pragmatic ones.
I tried to interrupt and hopefully change the topic， but I was gently brushed aside， in a helpful and supportive way， by one of the wives sitting beside me， who said to my wife： “Love， what we mean is did you marry him because you thought he would support you through thick and thin， or did you maybe think he would make a great father to your child？”
My wife seemed like she understood， she took a deep breath， smiled and then said： “I thought about what my child would look like if I had a child with him. I wanted my child to have light coloured hair and eyes， and to be a doctor too. I liked him for， how do you say， for his DNA？” Everyone laughed， I guess because no other response was appropriate， and we simply moved on to other topics.
I felt somewhat embarrassed by my wife’s response， truth be told， but there was a huge language and cultural barrier that made it difficult for her to talk in those terms， so I simply put it aside and tried to forget it.
At work however， I still get a 3）jibe from my colleagues， who while diagnosing a condition for the occasional Chinese female patient， ask me whether I think they have DNA envy， and then they smile and wink.
Yes， it’s funny， and simply part and parcel of a crosscultural relationship.
我和我的中国妻子最近去了一个朋友家中吃晚餐。小两口正庆祝他们的十周年结婚纪念日，不过，结婚前他们早已同居了五年。那晚获邀的还有其他三对夫妻，全部都是医生夫妇的搭配（其中两位妻子也是医生。）
那对庆祝结婚纪念日的夫妇是一对相当恩爱的夫妻，丈夫是一位外科医生，而妻子则是一位全职妈妈。尽管他们在许多方面大相径庭，但两人非常匹配。他们彼此之间历久常新的爱慕显而易见，旁人看着都觉得新鲜。在晚餐期间，谈话自然而然地转向了房内其他几对夫妇之间的关系上，而最后说到了我的头上。
我被问道最初妻子的哪些方面吸引了我，我的反应是男性被问到同样问题时的典型表现，先是词穷句蹇，慢慢才想到用比如幽默感、样貌、情感交流以及契合感之类的典型特质来回应。
好吧，然后轮到我的妻子了。当她被提问的时候，我能听到整个房间安静了下来。她被问道当我们初见时我身上最吸引她的是什么，还有是什么让她决定嫁给我。
我太天真了，我以为她会说觉得我们很般配，我照料呵护她的需求，我是一个好当家且有责任感，还有或许，仅仅是或许，她觉得她爱我。
相反，我的妻子这样回应说：“我喜欢他是一个左撇子，而且他还有双蓝眼睛和金色头发。我们中国人欣赏这些体征。”当妻子被更深地问及她喜欢我身上什么特质时，她继续说道：“我喜欢他是一位医生。我知道如果我嫁了一位医生，我所有的亲朋好友都会羡慕我的。”
餐桌上的每个人都笑了，我想是出于礼貌，但是我觉得我那悲催的妻子只是没弄明白别人问的是人的品行特质，不是实用资质。
我尝试插嘴，希望转移话题，却被温柔地撂在一边，坐在我旁边的太太团中的一位出口相助，对我的妻子说道：“亲爱的，我们的意思是，你嫁给他是因为你觉得他不论顺境逆境都支持你呢，还是说，你觉得他当孩子的爸是个不错的选择？”
我的妻子似乎弄明白了，她深吸了一口气，微微一笑，然后说道：“我想过如果我和他生小孩，那孩子会是什么模样。我希望我的孩子拥有浅色的头发和眼睛，长大也成为一名医生。我喜欢他是因为，怎么说呢，因为他的DNA？”
每个人都笑了，我猜想是因为没什么其它反应更合适了，然后我们只能转移到了其它话题上。
老实说，我妻子的回答多少让我感到尴尬，但横亘在语言和文化的鸿沟使得她很难用那种言辞表达，所以我只是把那件事摆在一边，并试着忘掉。
然而工作时，我仍然会被我的同僚们取笑。当他们偶尔给中国女病人诊断病情时，会问我是否觉得她们有DNA情结，然后他们笑起来，眨起眼睛。
是的，这是挺有趣的，反正就是跨文化婚姻生活中不可或缺的一部分。
The couple celebrating their anniversary are a very loving couple， he being a surgeon and she a stay-at-home mother. They are very compatible， although quite different in many respects. Their ongoing adoration of each other is quite 1）palpable， and quite refreshing to experience. During dinner， the conversation naturally turned to the other relationships in the room， and eventually to mine.
I was asked what it was that first attracted me to my wife， and I responded in what is probably a typical male fashion， stuck for words but then falling back on the typical qualities such as sense of humour， looks， emotional connection and a sense of compatibility.
Well， then it was my wife’s turn， and I could hear the whole room quiet down as she was asked what she found most appealing about me when we first met， and what it was that made her consider marrying me.
Naive me， I thought she would say that she thought we were compatible， that I was caring and loving to her needs， that I was a good provider and responsible， and maybe， just maybe that she felt that she loved me.
Instead， my wife responded by saying： “I liked the fact that he was left-handed， and that he had blue eyes and blonde hair. We Chinese admire those physical traits.” When further prompted about the qualities in me that she liked， she continued： “I liked the fact that he was a doctor. I knew that all my friends and extended family would be jealous of me if I married a doctor.”
Everyone at the dinner table smiled， out of politeness I think， but I think my poor wife simply didn’t realise that she was being asked for human qualities， not 2）pragmatic ones.
I tried to interrupt and hopefully change the topic， but I was gently brushed aside， in a helpful and supportive way， by one of the wives sitting beside me， who said to my wife： “Love， what we mean is did you marry him because you thought he would support you through thick and thin， or did you maybe think he would make a great father to your child？”
My wife seemed like she understood， she took a deep breath， smiled and then said： “I thought about what my child would look like if I had a child with him. I wanted my child to have light coloured hair and eyes， and to be a doctor too. I liked him for， how do you say， for his DNA？” Everyone laughed， I guess because no other response was appropriate， and we simply moved on to other topics.
I felt somewhat embarrassed by my wife’s response， truth be told， but there was a huge language and cultural barrier that made it difficult for her to talk in those terms， so I simply put it aside and tried to forget it.
At work however， I still get a 3）jibe from my colleagues， who while diagnosing a condition for the occasional Chinese female patient， ask me whether I think they have DNA envy， and then they smile and wink.
Yes， it’s funny， and simply part and parcel of a crosscultural relationship.
我和我的中国妻子最近去了一个朋友家中吃晚餐。小两口正庆祝他们的十周年结婚纪念日，不过，结婚前他们早已同居了五年。那晚获邀的还有其他三对夫妻，全部都是医生夫妇的搭配（其中两位妻子也是医生。）
那对庆祝结婚纪念日的夫妇是一对相当恩爱的夫妻，丈夫是一位外科医生，而妻子则是一位全职妈妈。尽管他们在许多方面大相径庭，但两人非常匹配。他们彼此之间历久常新的爱慕显而易见，旁人看着都觉得新鲜。在晚餐期间，谈话自然而然地转向了房内其他几对夫妇之间的关系上，而最后说到了我的头上。
我被问道最初妻子的哪些方面吸引了我，我的反应是男性被问到同样问题时的典型表现，先是词穷句蹇，慢慢才想到用比如幽默感、样貌、情感交流以及契合感之类的典型特质来回应。
好吧，然后轮到我的妻子了。当她被提问的时候，我能听到整个房间安静了下来。她被问道当我们初见时我身上最吸引她的是什么，还有是什么让她决定嫁给我。
我太天真了，我以为她会说觉得我们很般配，我照料呵护她的需求，我是一个好当家且有责任感，还有或许，仅仅是或许，她觉得她爱我。
相反，我的妻子这样回应说：“我喜欢他是一个左撇子，而且他还有双蓝眼睛和金色头发。我们中国人欣赏这些体征。”当妻子被更深地问及她喜欢我身上什么特质时，她继续说道：“我喜欢他是一位医生。我知道如果我嫁了一位医生，我所有的亲朋好友都会羡慕我的。”
餐桌上的每个人都笑了，我想是出于礼貌，但是我觉得我那悲催的妻子只是没弄明白别人问的是人的品行特质，不是实用资质。
我尝试插嘴，希望转移话题，却被温柔地撂在一边，坐在我旁边的太太团中的一位出口相助，对我的妻子说道：“亲爱的，我们的意思是，你嫁给他是因为你觉得他不论顺境逆境都支持你呢，还是说，你觉得他当孩子的爸是个不错的选择？”
我的妻子似乎弄明白了，她深吸了一口气，微微一笑，然后说道：“我想过如果我和他生小孩，那孩子会是什么模样。我希望我的孩子拥有浅色的头发和眼睛，长大也成为一名医生。我喜欢他是因为，怎么说呢，因为他的DNA？”
每个人都笑了，我猜想是因为没什么其它反应更合适了，然后我们只能转移到了其它话题上。
老实说，我妻子的回答多少让我感到尴尬，但横亘在语言和文化的鸿沟使得她很难用那种言辞表达，所以我只是把那件事摆在一边，并试着忘掉。
然而工作时，我仍然会被我的同僚们取笑。当他们偶尔给中国女病人诊断病情时，会问我是否觉得她们有DNA情结，然后他们笑起来，眨起眼睛。
是的，这是挺有趣的，反正就是跨文化婚姻生活中不可或缺的一部分。