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儿子上大学时，我曾请教过全国著 名大学的一位女教授：儿子应该报考哪 所大学? 这位老教授语重心长地告诉我：期 望值不要太高，太高了就会失望。她说， 偏远地区有一个女孩子，学习特别好，人 称“三脑袋”，物理、数学、化学都能考满 分。高考时，父母让她考我所在的这所全 国重点大学，她不想考，可父母逼她报 考，说是让她为祖宗增光；老师也劝她报 考，说是为学校增光。她违心地上了我们 学校，情绪一直不稳定，妈妈在校园里陪 了她很久。妈妈回去后，学校进行了三次 考试，她的成绩都名列中下。过去，她一 直是当地的“状元”，这样的结果给她带 来了巨大的精神压力，入学仅三个月，她 便跳楼自杀了。她的母亲到学校来“接” 她，欲哭无泪，一声接一声地喊：“是我 害了我的女儿!是我害了我的孩子!我当 初为什么要逼她?!”
When my son was in college, I consulted with a female professor at a famous university in China: Which university son should I apply for? The old professor, with solemn memory, told me: Expectations are not too high or too disappointed. She said that in a remote area, there is a girl who studies very well and calls “Three Heads.” Physics, mathematics and chemistry can all test her points. When the college entrance examination, parents let her test my where the national key university, she did not want to test, parents can force her to apply, said to let her add ancestors; the teacher also advised her to apply, said to be for the school to add light. She was unwilling to go to school, her emotions have been unstable, and her mother stayed with her on campus for a long time. After the mother went back, the school conducted three exams, and her grades were both lower and middle. In the past, she has been a local “champion”, so the result brought great pressure on her, only three months of admission, she committed suicide. Her mother came to school to pick her up, crying without any tears, and shouted one cry: “I hurt my daughter! I hurt my child! Why did I force her ?!”