幽默与笑话

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  Collecting Money
  Terry applied to a finance agency for a job, but he had no experience. He was so intense that the manager gave him a tough account with the promise that if he collected it, he’d get the job.
  Two hours later, Terry came with the entire amount.
  “Amazing!”the manager said. “How did you do it?”
  “Very easy,” Terry replied. “I told him if he didn’t pay up, I’d tell all his other creditors he paid us.”
  
  Why Are You Crying?
  A blonde girl goes to work one day crying because she finds out her mom has just died.
  Her boss asks her, “What’s wrong?Why are you crying?”
  She replies, “I just found out that my mom passed away.” The boss decides to let her have the day off but she insists on working so that she can keep her mind off her mom. A few hours later her boss decides to check on her and he goes in to her office and sees her crying hysterically.
  He asks her again,“Why are you crying?”
  She answers,“My sister called saying that her mom died, too.”
  
  Ice Fishing
  Don decides that he will go ice fishing. So he goes to the library and reads and researches ice fishing. Then he goes to the sporting goods store and buys everything he needs.
  Then he finally thinks he is ready so he goes out to the ice and starts drilling a hole. Suddenly he hears a voice from above. It says, “There are no fish under the ice.”
  So he decides to go farther down on the ice. He starts drilling and he hears the voice again, “There are no fish under the ice.”
  So he packs up his things and moves down the ice again. He starts drilling and he hears the voice again, “There are no fish under the ice.”
  “Is that you Lord?”he says.
  “No, ”says the voice, “I’m the manager of the ice hockey rink.”
  
  Getting Into Fights
  They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn’t been talking to each other.
  Instead, they were giving each written notes.
  One evening he gave her a paper in which it said, “Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am.”
  The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o’clock.
  Naturally he got very angry , but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying, “Wake up. It’s 6 o’clock!”
  (山东 于 莹供稿)
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