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【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩； 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号；
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由； 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>；
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份，包括：学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄： 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 初中部 收
张造云 男，任教于湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校，中学一级教师，主导校本英语教材研究，不断深入英语教研教改，主持校本课改专题《初中生听说读写导学案教学》，有多篇论文在国家级省级发表和获奖，辅导学生双语写作多次获一等奖。教学论文《中学生英语写作模式初探》2013年9月发表在《教师》杂志上，引起强烈反响。
We Had a Happy Weekend
Last weekend I went to the river for fishing with my cousin. It was a small river. We sat on the river beach and waited for the fish. Hu Dong is two years older than I and he is my cousin. He had two fish but I had none.
“Why doesn’t fish come to my hook？” I asked Hu Dong. “You’re too anxious to get fish. Take it easy and relax yourself，” he said.
So I took out a story book and read it. After a while， my cousin said to me， “Your hook moves①， and you’ll get it，” he smiled.
I picked up my fishing rod， then I got a fish. It was one and a half kilogram②.
I think my cousin is cleverer than I. He was so patient and clever that he could get more fish. I only got one fish that weekend， but I was very happy. It made me learn that I should be more patient.
湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校八（59）班 胡贤鹏
1. 优点：
小作者将周末钓鱼写得生动有趣，钓鱼的过程有详有略，让人如临其境，文章结尾点出钓鱼需要耐心的道理。全文生动流畅，又蕴含哲理，是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①moves改为is moving。根据上下文来判断，用现在进行时表示鱼儿正上钩。
②kilogram改为kilograms。One and a half的意思是1.5，kilogram （公斤）用复数形式。
3. 评分：
按湖南省永州市中考英语作文满分10分的评分标准，本文修改前可得9分。
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩； 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号；
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由； 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>；
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份，包括：学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄： 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 初中部 收
张造云 男，任教于湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校，中学一级教师，主导校本英语教材研究，不断深入英语教研教改，主持校本课改专题《初中生听说读写导学案教学》，有多篇论文在国家级省级发表和获奖，辅导学生双语写作多次获一等奖。教学论文《中学生英语写作模式初探》2013年9月发表在《教师》杂志上，引起强烈反响。
We Had a Happy Weekend
Last weekend I went to the river for fishing with my cousin. It was a small river. We sat on the river beach and waited for the fish. Hu Dong is two years older than I and he is my cousin. He had two fish but I had none.
“Why doesn’t fish come to my hook？” I asked Hu Dong. “You’re too anxious to get fish. Take it easy and relax yourself，” he said.
So I took out a story book and read it. After a while， my cousin said to me， “Your hook moves①， and you’ll get it，” he smiled.
I picked up my fishing rod， then I got a fish. It was one and a half kilogram②.
I think my cousin is cleverer than I. He was so patient and clever that he could get more fish. I only got one fish that weekend， but I was very happy. It made me learn that I should be more patient.
湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校八（59）班 胡贤鹏
1. 优点：
小作者将周末钓鱼写得生动有趣，钓鱼的过程有详有略，让人如临其境，文章结尾点出钓鱼需要耐心的道理。全文生动流畅，又蕴含哲理，是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①moves改为is moving。根据上下文来判断，用现在进行时表示鱼儿正上钩。
②kilogram改为kilograms。One and a half的意思是1.5，kilogram （公斤）用复数形式。
3. 评分：
按湖南省永州市中考英语作文满分10分的评分标准，本文修改前可得9分。