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I think people are hungry for something that shows more respect for the complexity of life, the depth, the grey areas.
—Ang Lee
There is no tale as old as that of good versus evil. We see it in Beowulf, the oldest complete literary document in English currently known. The theme resonates throughout religious texts. It can even be seen in history texts: Allies vs. Axis, Greece vs. Persia, the conquistadors vs. the Incas. Yet things aren’t always so black and white. The grey must be considered—that area where right and wrong aren’t always so divided.
First up, Forget What You Know about Good Study Habits looks at the damage that can be done when, although we think we’re doing right, we’re actually harming ourselves. Even in the face of facts we occasionally “walk around with all sorts of unexamined beliefs about what works that are mistaken.” The Secret Cost of Shame adds to this theory by examining what happens when parents shame their children into acting better. Although we see immediate results in behaviour improvement (and therefore think we’re doing good), the long-term harm to self-esteem can be devastating. So does that mean it’s bad?
Well, what’s wrong with “bad”? In The Curse of the Good Girl we see that sometimes bad is good—and good is bad. Sometimes, being a Bad Girl means being a critical thinker and self-possessed leader. However, these qualities are commonly interpreted as being a proud rebel, or an attention-hogging rule breaker. Feminism and equality may be on the rise, but our too-often stereotypical views of a Good Girl can lead to the stunting of emotional growth.
Finally, For Richer, for Poorer tells the personal account of one girl who followed her heart, despite what those around her said because she knew what she wanted: love. And maybe that’s all we can do—follow our hearts. In the end, it’s not really about right vs. wrong or black vs. white; it’s about finding the grey area that’s right for you, because the “all or nothing” philosophy, more often than not, leads to nothing.
正邪对决的故事源远流长。这样的故事我们在《贝奥武夫》里面见识过了——那是一部目前为止人们知道的最古老的英语文学。正邪对决这样的主题在这部具有宗教色彩的作品中贯穿始终。同样的主题还在历史文献里一一再现:第二次世界大战时同盟国与轴心国之间的对决,公元前五世纪初希腊与波斯帝国之间的战争,还有西班牙殖民者与美洲大陆的印加人之间的冲突。然而,世间万物不是总能分出个“黑”与“白”。“灰色”也得考虑——是非对错并无绝对的那个地带。
首先,《那些所谓的学习“好”方法》一文探究的是我们自以为正确的一些理念带来的恶果。即使面对真相,我们仍然不时地“抱着各种没经核实的错误信念行事”。《羞愧的代价》进一步阐明了这个理论,分析父母以“羞辱”让孩子改进行为的做法,并审视其带来的后果。尽管孩子行为改进的效果立竿见影(而我们因此也觉得自己做得对),但是这对孩子自尊的长期伤害却是不可估量的。那么,这样算不算是坏事?
那么,“使坏”有什么错呢?在《“好女孩”的紧箍咒》一文中,我们看到有时“坏”反而是“好”。有时候,做一个“坏女孩”意味着懂得独立思辨,自信从容地走在前沿。但是,这些特质通常被视为骄傲自大、哗众取宠、离经叛道。女权主义与男女平等思想可能在不断加强,但是我们通常对好女孩一成不变的看法则会阻碍她们情感上的成长。
最后,《穷丈夫,富丈夫》一文讲述了一个女孩的个人经历——不顾周遭所言只去追随自己的内心,因为她知道她的所求:爱。或许这就是我们能做到的事——追随自己的内心。到最后,事情真的不只是对与错或黑与白,而是找到适合你生存的“灰色区域”,因为“非此即彼、非黑即白”这样的哲学往往令人最终一切落空。
—Ang Lee
There is no tale as old as that of good versus evil. We see it in Beowulf, the oldest complete literary document in English currently known. The theme resonates throughout religious texts. It can even be seen in history texts: Allies vs. Axis, Greece vs. Persia, the conquistadors vs. the Incas. Yet things aren’t always so black and white. The grey must be considered—that area where right and wrong aren’t always so divided.
First up, Forget What You Know about Good Study Habits looks at the damage that can be done when, although we think we’re doing right, we’re actually harming ourselves. Even in the face of facts we occasionally “walk around with all sorts of unexamined beliefs about what works that are mistaken.” The Secret Cost of Shame adds to this theory by examining what happens when parents shame their children into acting better. Although we see immediate results in behaviour improvement (and therefore think we’re doing good), the long-term harm to self-esteem can be devastating. So does that mean it’s bad?
Well, what’s wrong with “bad”? In The Curse of the Good Girl we see that sometimes bad is good—and good is bad. Sometimes, being a Bad Girl means being a critical thinker and self-possessed leader. However, these qualities are commonly interpreted as being a proud rebel, or an attention-hogging rule breaker. Feminism and equality may be on the rise, but our too-often stereotypical views of a Good Girl can lead to the stunting of emotional growth.
Finally, For Richer, for Poorer tells the personal account of one girl who followed her heart, despite what those around her said because she knew what she wanted: love. And maybe that’s all we can do—follow our hearts. In the end, it’s not really about right vs. wrong or black vs. white; it’s about finding the grey area that’s right for you, because the “all or nothing” philosophy, more often than not, leads to nothing.
正邪对决的故事源远流长。这样的故事我们在《贝奥武夫》里面见识过了——那是一部目前为止人们知道的最古老的英语文学。正邪对决这样的主题在这部具有宗教色彩的作品中贯穿始终。同样的主题还在历史文献里一一再现:第二次世界大战时同盟国与轴心国之间的对决,公元前五世纪初希腊与波斯帝国之间的战争,还有西班牙殖民者与美洲大陆的印加人之间的冲突。然而,世间万物不是总能分出个“黑”与“白”。“灰色”也得考虑——是非对错并无绝对的那个地带。
首先,《那些所谓的学习“好”方法》一文探究的是我们自以为正确的一些理念带来的恶果。即使面对真相,我们仍然不时地“抱着各种没经核实的错误信念行事”。《羞愧的代价》进一步阐明了这个理论,分析父母以“羞辱”让孩子改进行为的做法,并审视其带来的后果。尽管孩子行为改进的效果立竿见影(而我们因此也觉得自己做得对),但是这对孩子自尊的长期伤害却是不可估量的。那么,这样算不算是坏事?
那么,“使坏”有什么错呢?在《“好女孩”的紧箍咒》一文中,我们看到有时“坏”反而是“好”。有时候,做一个“坏女孩”意味着懂得独立思辨,自信从容地走在前沿。但是,这些特质通常被视为骄傲自大、哗众取宠、离经叛道。女权主义与男女平等思想可能在不断加强,但是我们通常对好女孩一成不变的看法则会阻碍她们情感上的成长。
最后,《穷丈夫,富丈夫》一文讲述了一个女孩的个人经历——不顾周遭所言只去追随自己的内心,因为她知道她的所求:爱。或许这就是我们能做到的事——追随自己的内心。到最后,事情真的不只是对与错或黑与白,而是找到适合你生存的“灰色区域”,因为“非此即彼、非黑即白”这样的哲学往往令人最终一切落空。