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弗洛伊德·德尔（1887—1969），美国小说家、剧作家、诗人、散文家以及文学评论家，出生于伊利诺斯州。中学辍学以后，他在当地报纸和社会主义杂志做过记者，同时也开始在全国性报纸上发表诗歌作品。1908年，德尔搬到芝加哥，并成为了《周五文学评论》（The Friday Literary Review）的编辑，也成为了芝加哥文艺复兴的领袖。期间，他曾力捧过西奥多·德莱赛、谢伍德·安德森、卡尔·桑德伯格及其他芝加哥作家的作品。五年后，他迁往纽约，在激进杂志《大众》（The Masses）出任执行主编，也成为了战前格林威治村波西米亚社区的领导者。主要作品有King Arthur’s Socks and Other Village Plays（《亚瑟王的袜子及其他乡村戏剧》）、Little Accident（《小意外》）、Moon-Calf（《怪胎》）、 The Angel Intrudes（《天使入侵》）、 Women as World Builders（《作为世界创造者的妇女们》）等等。
本期“地道英文”选自他的一篇小说，限于篇幅，内容有删减。故事讲述的是一个孩子顿悟的过程，文中有多处暗示“我”的家境贫寒，但“我”却浑然不觉；反而觉得用硬纸板充当鞋垫是毫无所谓，每天喝土豆汤很不错，每天都可以和爸爸妈妈待在一起是件很幸福的事，“我”的天真没有让“我”过多地思考和怀疑。直到平安夜那晚，父母只字不提过节的事儿，“我”才意识到家中穷困的状况，从而联想到以前的种种，这让“我”痛苦不已。小时候的痛苦记忆总会留下永不消退的伤疤，这也许就是为什么父母无论遇到什么困难都不和我们言说的原因吧。父母以隐忍成就了我们的无忧童年，感谢你们！
——Nichola
That fall, before it was discovered that the soles
of both my shoes were worn clear through, I still went to 1)Sunday school. And one time the Sunday-school 2)superintendent made a speech to all the classes. He said that these were hard times and that many poor children weren’t getting enough to eat. It was the first that I had heard about it. He asked everybody to bring some food for the poor children next Sunday. I felt very sorry for the poor children. Also, little envelopes were distributed to all the classes. Each little boy and girl was to bring money for the poor, next Sunday. The pretty Sunday-school teacher explained that we were to write our names, or have our parents write them, up in the left hand corner of the little envelopes. I told my mother all about it when I came home. And my mother gave me, the next Sunday, a small bag of potatoes to carry to Sunday school. I supposed the poor children’s mothers would make potato soup out of them. Potato soup was good. My father, who was quite a joker, would always say, as if he were surprised, “Ah! I see we have some nourishing potato soup today!” It was so good that we had it every day. My father was at home all day long and every day, now; and I liked that, even if he was 3)grumpy as he sat reading 4)Grant’s Memoirs. I had my parents all to myself, too; the others were away. My oldest brother was in Quincy, and memory does not reveal where the others were: perhaps with relatives in the country.
Taking my small bag of potatoes to Sunday school, I looked around for the poor children; I was disappointed not to see them. I had heard about poor children in stories. But I was told just to put my contribution with the others on the big table in the side room. I had brought with me the little yellow envelope, with some money in it for the poor children.
那年秋天，在我发现我两只鞋子
的鞋底都彻底磨穿之前，我还到主日学校上学。有一次，校长对全校学生做了发言。他说，这是艰难时期，很多家庭贫困的孩子没有足够的食物。那是我第一次听说这回事。他让我们下周日带一些食物给那些贫困的孩子。我为那些贫困孩子们感到难过。另外，所有学生都拿到分发的小信封。每个学生都要给贫困孩子捐点钱，下周日带回来。学校那位漂亮的老师解释说，我们要在小信封左上角写下自己的名字，或者让家长帮忙写上。回家后，我把这些都告诉了妈妈。到了下一个周日，妈妈给我准备了一小袋土豆好带去学校。我想那些贫困孩子们的妈妈可以用这些土豆来制作土豆汤。土豆汤挺不错的。我的爸爸很会开玩笑，他总是故作惊奇地说：“啊！我知道我们今天有营养丰富的土豆汤喝了！”我们每天都能喝到土豆汤，真好！我爸爸整天待在家里，当时每天如此；我很喜欢那样，即使他坐在那看《格兰特将军回忆录》时脾气会变得很暴躁，至少我可以独自跟父母在一起；其他的兄弟姐妹都不在身边。我最大的哥哥当时在昆西市，我也不太记得别的兄弟姐妹在哪里了，也许是跟乡下的亲戚们在一起。
我带着那一小袋土豆来到主日学校，到处寻找那些贫困的孩子；寻不到他们的踪影，我很失望。我听过关于这些孩子的故事。我被告知，带来的东西和其他人捐赠的东西一起都放在边房的大桌子上。我还带着那个黄色小信封，里面装着给贫困孩子的一点钱。
我妈妈把钱装进了信封，并粘了起来。她没告诉我她放了多少，摸起来好像是几毛钱。她不让我把名字写在信封上；那时，我已经会写自己的名字了，对此我很自豪。然而，妈妈很坚定地说，不行，我不能把名字写在信封上；她没告诉我原因。在去学校的路上，我捏着装有钱币的信封，直到我能分辨它们的面值；那不是一毛一毛的硬币，而是一分一分的。
当我把信封交给老师的时候，她发现我没写上名字，于是她给了我一支铅笔，说，你可以自己写上名字。我这么做了。但我满心疑惑，因为妈妈不让我写；所以回到家后，我向妈妈坦白了我所做的事。她看起来很苦恼，说道：“我叫你不要写的！”但她始终没告诉我原因。
那年秋天我没再去上学了。我妈妈说那是因为我病了。学校开学那周，我确实感冒了；我因为在水沟里玩，鞋子穿洞以致弄湿了脚才感冒的。我爸爸用硬纸皮剪成了鞋垫，我把它们塞在鞋子里。因为我得待在家里，所以也没什么问题。我一直被关在家里，无人作伴。我们不再订周日的报纸，但《巴里广告时代》每周都会随信件夹杂而至。尽管我读不懂那些密密麻麻的小字，我还是能看到广告里的圣诞老人和冬青花环图片。
new shoes—why we had been living on potato soup all winter. All these things, and others, many others, fitted themselves together in my mind and meant something. Then the words came into my mind and I whispered them into the darkness:“We’re poor!”
That was it. I was one of those poor children I had been sorry for when I heard about them in Sunday school. My mother hadn’t told me. My father was out of work, and we hadn’t any money. That was why there wasn’t going to be any Christmas at our house. Then I remembered something that made me 15)squirm with shame—a boast. (Memory will not yield this up. Had I said to some nice little boy, “I’m going to be President of the United States?” or to a nice little girl, “I’ll marry you when I grow up?” It was some boast as horribly shameful to remember.)
“We’re poor.” There in bed in the dark, I whispered it over and over to myself. I was making myself get used to it. (Or—just torturing myself; as one presses the tongue against a sore tooth? No, memory says not like that—but to keep myself from ever being such a fool again: suffering now, to keep this awful thing from ever happening again. Memory is clear on that; it was more like pulling the tooth to get it over with—never mind the pain, this will be the end!)
It wasn’t so bad, now that I knew. I just hadn’t known! I had thought all sorts of foolish things: that I was going to Ann Arbor—going to be a lawyer—going to make speeches in the square, going to be president. Now I knew better. I had wanted[something] for Christmas. I didn’t want it now. I didn’t want anything. I lay there in the dark, feeling the cold emotion of 16)renunciation. (The 17)tendrils of desire unfold their clasp on the outer world of objects,新鞋子——为什么我们整个冬天都靠土豆汤维生。所有的这些，还有别的事情，很多别的事情，在我的脑海中拼凑连接，事情就一目了然了。然后我的脑海中出现了一句话，在黑暗中，我轻声地说：“我们就是穷人。”
事实就是这样。我就是那些在学校听到他们的境况时我为之感到难过的“贫困孩子”中的一个。我妈妈从来没有告诉过我。我爸爸失业了，我们没有钱。这也是为什么我们家没有过圣诞节。然后我回想起让我自惭形愧的事——我的自吹自擂。（在这点上，我的记忆不会有丝毫差错。我不是曾对某个友善的小男孩说，“我要当美国总统”？或者对一位很可爱的小姑娘说，“长大了我会娶你”？那是记忆中我曾经夸下的海口，让我羞愧不已。）
“我们是穷人。”在黑暗中，我反复地喃喃自语。我在努力让自己接受这个事实。（或者，只是在折磨我自己，就像让舌头抵住痛牙？不，我记得不是那样的——我只是想让自己不要再这么傻了：正在经历的痛苦，是为了不要再重蹈覆辙。记忆很清楚地告诉我，那更像是拔牙，结束痛楚——不要在意痛楚，这就是痛苦的终点！）
现在我知道了，这事情也没有很糟糕，只是我之前不懂！我曾经有过各种各样的傻念头：我要去密歇根州的安娜堡——成为一名律师——在广场上发表演说，成为总统。现在，我更加明白了。我曾经想要某个圣诞礼物，但现在我不想要了。我不想要任何东西。我躺在黑暗中，感觉到克制和平静。（欲望的藤蔓慢慢收拢，不再向外界抓取猎物。
第二天早晨醒来，就像做了一场噩梦，只是梦中细节已模糊——大家都希望可以遗忘那天的事。尽管我没有挂起袜子，但我床脚却分明挂着一只袜子。里面有一包爆米花和一支铅笔，那是给我的。他们意识到我知道圣诞节的到来了，他们已经尽力了。但他们大可不必觉得非要给我礼物。我已经不想要任何东西了。
本期“地道英文”选自他的一篇小说，限于篇幅，内容有删减。故事讲述的是一个孩子顿悟的过程，文中有多处暗示“我”的家境贫寒，但“我”却浑然不觉；反而觉得用硬纸板充当鞋垫是毫无所谓，每天喝土豆汤很不错，每天都可以和爸爸妈妈待在一起是件很幸福的事，“我”的天真没有让“我”过多地思考和怀疑。直到平安夜那晚，父母只字不提过节的事儿，“我”才意识到家中穷困的状况，从而联想到以前的种种，这让“我”痛苦不已。小时候的痛苦记忆总会留下永不消退的伤疤，这也许就是为什么父母无论遇到什么困难都不和我们言说的原因吧。父母以隐忍成就了我们的无忧童年，感谢你们！
——Nichola
That fall, before it was discovered that the soles
of both my shoes were worn clear through, I still went to 1)Sunday school. And one time the Sunday-school 2)superintendent made a speech to all the classes. He said that these were hard times and that many poor children weren’t getting enough to eat. It was the first that I had heard about it. He asked everybody to bring some food for the poor children next Sunday. I felt very sorry for the poor children. Also, little envelopes were distributed to all the classes. Each little boy and girl was to bring money for the poor, next Sunday. The pretty Sunday-school teacher explained that we were to write our names, or have our parents write them, up in the left hand corner of the little envelopes. I told my mother all about it when I came home. And my mother gave me, the next Sunday, a small bag of potatoes to carry to Sunday school. I supposed the poor children’s mothers would make potato soup out of them. Potato soup was good. My father, who was quite a joker, would always say, as if he were surprised, “Ah! I see we have some nourishing potato soup today!” It was so good that we had it every day. My father was at home all day long and every day, now; and I liked that, even if he was 3)grumpy as he sat reading 4)Grant’s Memoirs. I had my parents all to myself, too; the others were away. My oldest brother was in Quincy, and memory does not reveal where the others were: perhaps with relatives in the country.
Taking my small bag of potatoes to Sunday school, I looked around for the poor children; I was disappointed not to see them. I had heard about poor children in stories. But I was told just to put my contribution with the others on the big table in the side room. I had brought with me the little yellow envelope, with some money in it for the poor children.
那年秋天，在我发现我两只鞋子
的鞋底都彻底磨穿之前，我还到主日学校上学。有一次，校长对全校学生做了发言。他说，这是艰难时期，很多家庭贫困的孩子没有足够的食物。那是我第一次听说这回事。他让我们下周日带一些食物给那些贫困的孩子。我为那些贫困孩子们感到难过。另外，所有学生都拿到分发的小信封。每个学生都要给贫困孩子捐点钱，下周日带回来。学校那位漂亮的老师解释说，我们要在小信封左上角写下自己的名字，或者让家长帮忙写上。回家后，我把这些都告诉了妈妈。到了下一个周日，妈妈给我准备了一小袋土豆好带去学校。我想那些贫困孩子们的妈妈可以用这些土豆来制作土豆汤。土豆汤挺不错的。我的爸爸很会开玩笑，他总是故作惊奇地说：“啊！我知道我们今天有营养丰富的土豆汤喝了！”我们每天都能喝到土豆汤，真好！我爸爸整天待在家里，当时每天如此；我很喜欢那样，即使他坐在那看《格兰特将军回忆录》时脾气会变得很暴躁，至少我可以独自跟父母在一起；其他的兄弟姐妹都不在身边。我最大的哥哥当时在昆西市，我也不太记得别的兄弟姐妹在哪里了，也许是跟乡下的亲戚们在一起。
我带着那一小袋土豆来到主日学校，到处寻找那些贫困的孩子；寻不到他们的踪影，我很失望。我听过关于这些孩子的故事。我被告知，带来的东西和其他人捐赠的东西一起都放在边房的大桌子上。我还带着那个黄色小信封，里面装着给贫困孩子的一点钱。
我妈妈把钱装进了信封，并粘了起来。她没告诉我她放了多少，摸起来好像是几毛钱。她不让我把名字写在信封上；那时，我已经会写自己的名字了，对此我很自豪。然而，妈妈很坚定地说，不行，我不能把名字写在信封上；她没告诉我原因。在去学校的路上，我捏着装有钱币的信封，直到我能分辨它们的面值；那不是一毛一毛的硬币，而是一分一分的。
当我把信封交给老师的时候，她发现我没写上名字，于是她给了我一支铅笔，说，你可以自己写上名字。我这么做了。但我满心疑惑，因为妈妈不让我写；所以回到家后，我向妈妈坦白了我所做的事。她看起来很苦恼，说道：“我叫你不要写的！”但她始终没告诉我原因。
那年秋天我没再去上学了。我妈妈说那是因为我病了。学校开学那周，我确实感冒了；我因为在水沟里玩，鞋子穿洞以致弄湿了脚才感冒的。我爸爸用硬纸皮剪成了鞋垫，我把它们塞在鞋子里。因为我得待在家里，所以也没什么问题。我一直被关在家里，无人作伴。我们不再订周日的报纸，但《巴里广告时代》每周都会随信件夹杂而至。尽管我读不懂那些密密麻麻的小字，我还是能看到广告里的圣诞老人和冬青花环图片。
new shoes—why we had been living on potato soup all winter. All these things, and others, many others, fitted themselves together in my mind and meant something. Then the words came into my mind and I whispered them into the darkness:“We’re poor!”
That was it. I was one of those poor children I had been sorry for when I heard about them in Sunday school. My mother hadn’t told me. My father was out of work, and we hadn’t any money. That was why there wasn’t going to be any Christmas at our house. Then I remembered something that made me 15)squirm with shame—a boast. (Memory will not yield this up. Had I said to some nice little boy, “I’m going to be President of the United States?” or to a nice little girl, “I’ll marry you when I grow up?” It was some boast as horribly shameful to remember.)
“We’re poor.” There in bed in the dark, I whispered it over and over to myself. I was making myself get used to it. (Or—just torturing myself; as one presses the tongue against a sore tooth? No, memory says not like that—but to keep myself from ever being such a fool again: suffering now, to keep this awful thing from ever happening again. Memory is clear on that; it was more like pulling the tooth to get it over with—never mind the pain, this will be the end!)
It wasn’t so bad, now that I knew. I just hadn’t known! I had thought all sorts of foolish things: that I was going to Ann Arbor—going to be a lawyer—going to make speeches in the square, going to be president. Now I knew better. I had wanted[something] for Christmas. I didn’t want it now. I didn’t want anything. I lay there in the dark, feeling the cold emotion of 16)renunciation. (The 17)tendrils of desire unfold their clasp on the outer world of objects,新鞋子——为什么我们整个冬天都靠土豆汤维生。所有的这些，还有别的事情，很多别的事情，在我的脑海中拼凑连接，事情就一目了然了。然后我的脑海中出现了一句话，在黑暗中，我轻声地说：“我们就是穷人。”
事实就是这样。我就是那些在学校听到他们的境况时我为之感到难过的“贫困孩子”中的一个。我妈妈从来没有告诉过我。我爸爸失业了，我们没有钱。这也是为什么我们家没有过圣诞节。然后我回想起让我自惭形愧的事——我的自吹自擂。（在这点上，我的记忆不会有丝毫差错。我不是曾对某个友善的小男孩说，“我要当美国总统”？或者对一位很可爱的小姑娘说，“长大了我会娶你”？那是记忆中我曾经夸下的海口，让我羞愧不已。）
“我们是穷人。”在黑暗中，我反复地喃喃自语。我在努力让自己接受这个事实。（或者，只是在折磨我自己，就像让舌头抵住痛牙？不，我记得不是那样的——我只是想让自己不要再这么傻了：正在经历的痛苦，是为了不要再重蹈覆辙。记忆很清楚地告诉我，那更像是拔牙，结束痛楚——不要在意痛楚，这就是痛苦的终点！）
现在我知道了，这事情也没有很糟糕，只是我之前不懂！我曾经有过各种各样的傻念头：我要去密歇根州的安娜堡——成为一名律师——在广场上发表演说，成为总统。现在，我更加明白了。我曾经想要某个圣诞礼物，但现在我不想要了。我不想要任何东西。我躺在黑暗中，感觉到克制和平静。（欲望的藤蔓慢慢收拢，不再向外界抓取猎物。
第二天早晨醒来，就像做了一场噩梦，只是梦中细节已模糊——大家都希望可以遗忘那天的事。尽管我没有挂起袜子，但我床脚却分明挂着一只袜子。里面有一包爆米花和一支铅笔，那是给我的。他们意识到我知道圣诞节的到来了，他们已经尽力了。但他们大可不必觉得非要给我礼物。我已经不想要任何东西了。