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病文一【考场得分】(内容)17分+(表达)16分+(发展等级)3分=36分【主要失分点】审题偏差,立意陈旧【其他失分点】用例不当,层次不明既是红花又是绿叶浙江一考生在自然界中绿叶只能衬托红花,为花欢呼。但我们人类社会却不这样,“最美司机”吴斌也曾是一片绿叶,但是在危险到来的时候他的人性之花开得如此美丽。所以我相信我们大家都不只是绿叶,有时候也是红花。(文章开头便将主题确定为红花与绿叶的关系,而没有紧扣话题中奔跑者和鼓掌者,已属偏题)绿叶与红花的我们都不曾刻意地去做某一种,因为我们有时没有能力。奥运会上,运动健儿们为了祖国的荣誉拼了命地去努力,他
Disease text [exam field score] (content) 17 points + (express) 16 points + (development level) 3 points = 36 points [major point of failure] trial title deviation, intentional obsolete [other points of misuse] improper use case, unclear hierarchy Both the safflower and the green leaves An examinee in Zhejiang can only set off the safflower in the green leaves of nature and cheer for the flowers. However, we human society does not like this, “the most beautiful driver ” Wu Bin was also a green leaf, but when the danger came his flower of humanity was so beautiful. So I believe that we are not only green leaves, but sometimes also safflowers. (At the beginning of the article, the theme was identified as the relationship between safflower and green leaves, and runners and applause who were not closely linked to the topic were already the subject matter). We have never deliberately done a certain kind of leaflet and safflower, because we sometimes Can not afford to. At the Olympics, athletes worked hard for the honor of the motherland. He