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As the living standards have been improving, people are becoming more and more concerned about their health. Then what to do to stay healthy?
First of all, we should get rid of any ①health-damage habits, like smoking and excessive drinking. Both of them not only are bad for our body, but also threat ②others health and safety. The cases that smokers die of lung cancer appear on newspaper now and then. To smokers, smoking cause respiratory problems. According to experts, the danger of passive smoking is 10 times higher, so giving up smoking will also improve the health of non-smokers who are regularly around you. Similarly, drinking too much can be quite dangerous. ③It will do harm to our body. We have to mention that, the ④drink-drive cases cause the death toll to increase in recent years. So, in the interest of health, giving up smoking and excessive drinking are absolutely important.
Doctors suggest that taking exercise regularly ⑤benefit us a lot. But many people often take “I have no time” as an excuse to avoid exercise. They would rather watch TV, eat sweets than go out for some sports. In fact, what we need to do is to spare a little time, like half an hour or more, to do some exercise we are fond of. Playing badminton, playing Ping-Pong ball, or just jogging, walking are nice choices. In addition to that, we should make full use of our feet. That is to say, don’t rely on modern transportation. From now on, walk short distances instead of taking cars or buses; from now on, walk or run upstairs instead of taking lift.
Doing exercise regularly is one aspect to keep fit. We should also pay attention to our diet.⑥Fast food is more and more popular among students and working men, mostly because of its convenience. But fast food contains a lot of fat, which get the cholesterol level too high, in extreme case, lead to heart disease. Then what we should eat?
As the proverb goes that “An apple everyday keeps a doctor away”, we should try to take fresh vegetables and fruits as many as possible. Fruits and vegetables can provide us basic minerals and vitamins, and it keeps us from diseases as well. For example, berries, such as strawberries and blueberries are thought to protect us against cancer; kiwi fruits can offer us with over 20 kinds of vitamins; bananas can help the stomach ⑦functioning well, and so on.
Without health, nothing is meaningless. No health, no happiness; no health, no wealth. Everything begins with a health body, a healthy body begins with a healthy life style, a healthy life style begins from now on!
从整体来看这篇习作是篇优秀的文章。但作者在行文过程中也出现了一些错误，下面我们来具体分析一下语法上的错误。
①health-damage-health-damaging，因为它是个形容词，在动词damage后面加上ing后，将它名词化，用在句子之中修饰habit.②others-others’，由于后面是名词，意思是“他人的健康和安全”，所以应该用所有格形式。③应该删除，因为从整篇文章来看，这句话是多余的，与上文意思是一样，不免有重复罗嗦之嫌。④drink-drive-drink-driving, drink-driving是酒后驾车的意思，应该注意它的表达方法。⑤benefit-benefits，“taking exercise”是个单数意义的短语，因此，应该用单三形式。⑥这两句话显得过于冗赘繁杂，稍微地修改一下会更流畅。可以这样改：“Though having fast food can save time, fast food does more harm than good to us, for it contains a lot of fat which gets the cholesterol level too high, in extreme case, leads to heart disease.” ⑦functioning-function，固定用法help sb. (to) do sth..
还需要指出的是第二自然段和第三自然段之间衔接得不够好。最好补充一段“giving up smoking and excessive drinking is the first step, and we should also build up a healthy and regularly diet.”这样文章也就更完整了。
最后，我们来学习一下这篇习作的精彩的句子。
1.作者在两处使用了疑问句式，引发读者的思考。
Then what to do to stay healthy?
Then what we should eat?
提出问题之后，作者紧接着就通过一系列的事实来阐释自己的观点。
2.可以看到作者并非单纯地提出自己的观点，每个观点都有数字和事实来证明。比如，在谈到吸烟者对于不吸烟者的危害时，引用了专家的分析，“according to expert…”, 吸“二手烟”所带来的危害更大一些。在讲到要多吃新鲜的水果和蔬菜的时候，作者则引用了一句我们所熟知的谚语“An apple everyday keeps a doctor away.”使用数字和事实论证自己的观点会使我们的文章更有说服力。
3.为了增强气势，强调自己的观点，作者使用了许多的排比句。
例如：①From now on, walk short distances instead of taking cars or buses; from now on, walk or run upstairs instead of taking lift.② Everything begins with a health body, a healthy body begins with a healthy life style, a healthy life style begins from now on!
学会使用排比句会让我们的文章增色不少。
4. “No health, no happiness; no health, no wealth.”分别使用了头韵和尾韵的修辞手法，使得最后一段读起来朗朗上口，更有节奏感，会给读者留下深刻的印象。
First of all, we should get rid of any ①health-damage habits, like smoking and excessive drinking. Both of them not only are bad for our body, but also threat ②others health and safety. The cases that smokers die of lung cancer appear on newspaper now and then. To smokers, smoking cause respiratory problems. According to experts, the danger of passive smoking is 10 times higher, so giving up smoking will also improve the health of non-smokers who are regularly around you. Similarly, drinking too much can be quite dangerous. ③It will do harm to our body. We have to mention that, the ④drink-drive cases cause the death toll to increase in recent years. So, in the interest of health, giving up smoking and excessive drinking are absolutely important.
Doctors suggest that taking exercise regularly ⑤benefit us a lot. But many people often take “I have no time” as an excuse to avoid exercise. They would rather watch TV, eat sweets than go out for some sports. In fact, what we need to do is to spare a little time, like half an hour or more, to do some exercise we are fond of. Playing badminton, playing Ping-Pong ball, or just jogging, walking are nice choices. In addition to that, we should make full use of our feet. That is to say, don’t rely on modern transportation. From now on, walk short distances instead of taking cars or buses; from now on, walk or run upstairs instead of taking lift.
Doing exercise regularly is one aspect to keep fit. We should also pay attention to our diet.⑥Fast food is more and more popular among students and working men, mostly because of its convenience. But fast food contains a lot of fat, which get the cholesterol level too high, in extreme case, lead to heart disease. Then what we should eat?
As the proverb goes that “An apple everyday keeps a doctor away”, we should try to take fresh vegetables and fruits as many as possible. Fruits and vegetables can provide us basic minerals and vitamins, and it keeps us from diseases as well. For example, berries, such as strawberries and blueberries are thought to protect us against cancer; kiwi fruits can offer us with over 20 kinds of vitamins; bananas can help the stomach ⑦functioning well, and so on.
Without health, nothing is meaningless. No health, no happiness; no health, no wealth. Everything begins with a health body, a healthy body begins with a healthy life style, a healthy life style begins from now on!
从整体来看这篇习作是篇优秀的文章。但作者在行文过程中也出现了一些错误，下面我们来具体分析一下语法上的错误。
①health-damage-health-damaging，因为它是个形容词，在动词damage后面加上ing后，将它名词化，用在句子之中修饰habit.②others-others’，由于后面是名词，意思是“他人的健康和安全”，所以应该用所有格形式。③应该删除，因为从整篇文章来看，这句话是多余的，与上文意思是一样，不免有重复罗嗦之嫌。④drink-drive-drink-driving, drink-driving是酒后驾车的意思，应该注意它的表达方法。⑤benefit-benefits，“taking exercise”是个单数意义的短语，因此，应该用单三形式。⑥这两句话显得过于冗赘繁杂，稍微地修改一下会更流畅。可以这样改：“Though having fast food can save time, fast food does more harm than good to us, for it contains a lot of fat which gets the cholesterol level too high, in extreme case, leads to heart disease.” ⑦functioning-function，固定用法help sb. (to) do sth..
还需要指出的是第二自然段和第三自然段之间衔接得不够好。最好补充一段“giving up smoking and excessive drinking is the first step, and we should also build up a healthy and regularly diet.”这样文章也就更完整了。
最后，我们来学习一下这篇习作的精彩的句子。
1.作者在两处使用了疑问句式，引发读者的思考。
Then what to do to stay healthy?
Then what we should eat?
提出问题之后，作者紧接着就通过一系列的事实来阐释自己的观点。
2.可以看到作者并非单纯地提出自己的观点，每个观点都有数字和事实来证明。比如，在谈到吸烟者对于不吸烟者的危害时，引用了专家的分析，“according to expert…”, 吸“二手烟”所带来的危害更大一些。在讲到要多吃新鲜的水果和蔬菜的时候，作者则引用了一句我们所熟知的谚语“An apple everyday keeps a doctor away.”使用数字和事实论证自己的观点会使我们的文章更有说服力。
3.为了增强气势，强调自己的观点，作者使用了许多的排比句。
例如：①From now on, walk short distances instead of taking cars or buses; from now on, walk or run upstairs instead of taking lift.② Everything begins with a health body, a healthy body begins with a healthy life style, a healthy life style begins from now on!
学会使用排比句会让我们的文章增色不少。
4. “No health, no happiness; no health, no wealth.”分别使用了头韵和尾韵的修辞手法，使得最后一段读起来朗朗上口，更有节奏感，会给读者留下深刻的印象。