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山东省梁山县杨营中学 于孔春 供稿
Who Is Stupid？
A teacher was teaching her psychology1 lessons. She started her class by saying， “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid， stand up！”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said， “Do you think you’re stupid， Johnny？”
“No， madam， but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.”
谁蠢？
一个老师给学生们讲心理学，她一开始就说：“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
Madhouse2
Late one night at the madhouse one inmate3 shouted， “I am Napoleon！” Another one said， “How do you know？”
The first inmate said， “God told me！”
Just then， a voice from another room shouted， “I did not！”
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”
第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”
一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”
Mrs. Williams and the Flower Boy
Mrs. Williams loved flowers and had a small but beautiful garden.
In the summer， her roses were always the best in her street. One summer afternoon， her bell rang， and when she went to the front door， she saw a small boy outside.
He was about seven years old， and was holding a big bunch4 of beautiful roses in his hand.
“I am selling roses，” he said， “Do you want any？ They are quite cheap. Five pence for a big bunch. They are fresh. I picked them this afternoon.”
“My boy，” Mrs Williams answered， “I pick roses whenever I want， and don’t pay anything for them， because I have lots in my garden.”
“Oh， no， you haven’t，” said the small boy， “There aren’t any roses in your garden—because they are here in my hand！”
威廉斯夫人和卖花男孩
威廉斯夫人喜爱花，而且有一个小而漂亮的花园。
夏天，她的玫瑰花在她那条街上总是最好的。一个夏日的下午，她的门铃响了，当她去到前门时，看见一个小男孩在门外。
这个小男孩7岁左右，手里拿着一大束漂亮的玫瑰花。
“我在卖玫瑰花，”小男孩说，“你想买点吗？这些花相当便宜。5便士买一大束。这些花很新鲜，今天下午我才摘的。”
“孩子，”威廉斯夫人回答说，“每当我想要玫瑰花时，我就去摘，而且摘了花我也不用付钱，因为我的花园里有许多玫瑰花。”
“哦，不，你现在没有了，”这个小男孩说，“你的花园里没有玫瑰花了——因为它们全在我这手里！”
To Drum up Business
A man accidentally slipped5 on a banana peel and performed a very funny fall. He was not hurt， but felt embarrassed.
When he got better a moment later， he found a number of people standing round in a circle. He said angrily， “What are these idlers6 doing here？”
“They are not idlers，” explained his friend. “This man is a doctor. He wants to look you over. That man is a lawyer. He is ready to file a suit7 for you. And a producer of comic films is waiting for you to sign a contract.” 招揽生意
有个人不小心踩到一块香蕉皮上，滑倒的样子非常滑稽，引人发笑。他没有受伤，只是有些难为情。
过了一会儿，他感觉好些的时候，发觉有好几个人围着他站成一圈。他很不高兴地说：“这些闲人在这里干什么呢？”
他的朋友解释说：“他们不是闲人。这个人是医生，他想给你检查一下。那个人是律师，他准备为你起诉。另一个人是喜剧电影的制片人，他在等你和他订一个合约。”
Four New Fathers
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving birth to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says， “Congratulations， you got twins.” The man said， “How strange， I’m the manager of Minnesota Twins.” After a while the nurse comes up to the second man and says， “Congratulations， you got triplets8.” The man was happy， “Hmm， strange I worked as a director for the ‘3 musketeers’.” Finally， the nurse comes up to the third man and says “Congratulations， you got quadruplets9.” The man is happy and says， “Ironic， I work for the hotel ‘4 Seasons’.” All three of them are happy until they see their last man jumping all over the place， and banged his head on the wall. They asked him what’s wrong and he answered， “What’s wrong？ I work for 7up！”
四个新爸爸
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了，他们的妻子正在生产。护士过来对第一个男人说：“恭喜，你得了双胞胎。”男人说：“巧了，我是明尼苏达双子队的经理。”过了一会儿，护士过来对第二个男人说：“恭喜，你得了三胞胎。”男人很喜欢：“嗯，又巧了。我是3M公司的董事。”最后，护士跑来对第三个男人说：“恭喜，你得了四胞胎。”男人很开心地说：“真令人啼笑皆非，我为四季宾馆工作。”他们三个都很高兴，但第四个伙伴急得跳了起来，并用头撞墙。他们问他有什么不对劲，他回答道：“什么不对劲？我可是在七喜公司工作的呀！”
Who Is Stupid？
A teacher was teaching her psychology1 lessons. She started her class by saying， “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid， stand up！”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said， “Do you think you’re stupid， Johnny？”
“No， madam， but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.”
谁蠢？
一个老师给学生们讲心理学，她一开始就说：“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
Madhouse2
Late one night at the madhouse one inmate3 shouted， “I am Napoleon！” Another one said， “How do you know？”
The first inmate said， “God told me！”
Just then， a voice from another room shouted， “I did not！”
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”
第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”
一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”
Mrs. Williams and the Flower Boy
Mrs. Williams loved flowers and had a small but beautiful garden.
In the summer， her roses were always the best in her street. One summer afternoon， her bell rang， and when she went to the front door， she saw a small boy outside.
He was about seven years old， and was holding a big bunch4 of beautiful roses in his hand.
“I am selling roses，” he said， “Do you want any？ They are quite cheap. Five pence for a big bunch. They are fresh. I picked them this afternoon.”
“My boy，” Mrs Williams answered， “I pick roses whenever I want， and don’t pay anything for them， because I have lots in my garden.”
“Oh， no， you haven’t，” said the small boy， “There aren’t any roses in your garden—because they are here in my hand！”
威廉斯夫人和卖花男孩
威廉斯夫人喜爱花，而且有一个小而漂亮的花园。
夏天，她的玫瑰花在她那条街上总是最好的。一个夏日的下午，她的门铃响了，当她去到前门时，看见一个小男孩在门外。
这个小男孩7岁左右，手里拿着一大束漂亮的玫瑰花。
“我在卖玫瑰花，”小男孩说，“你想买点吗？这些花相当便宜。5便士买一大束。这些花很新鲜，今天下午我才摘的。”
“孩子，”威廉斯夫人回答说，“每当我想要玫瑰花时，我就去摘，而且摘了花我也不用付钱，因为我的花园里有许多玫瑰花。”
“哦，不，你现在没有了，”这个小男孩说，“你的花园里没有玫瑰花了——因为它们全在我这手里！”
To Drum up Business
A man accidentally slipped5 on a banana peel and performed a very funny fall. He was not hurt， but felt embarrassed.
When he got better a moment later， he found a number of people standing round in a circle. He said angrily， “What are these idlers6 doing here？”
“They are not idlers，” explained his friend. “This man is a doctor. He wants to look you over. That man is a lawyer. He is ready to file a suit7 for you. And a producer of comic films is waiting for you to sign a contract.” 招揽生意
有个人不小心踩到一块香蕉皮上，滑倒的样子非常滑稽，引人发笑。他没有受伤，只是有些难为情。
过了一会儿，他感觉好些的时候，发觉有好几个人围着他站成一圈。他很不高兴地说：“这些闲人在这里干什么呢？”
他的朋友解释说：“他们不是闲人。这个人是医生，他想给你检查一下。那个人是律师，他准备为你起诉。另一个人是喜剧电影的制片人，他在等你和他订一个合约。”
Four New Fathers
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving birth to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says， “Congratulations， you got twins.” The man said， “How strange， I’m the manager of Minnesota Twins.” After a while the nurse comes up to the second man and says， “Congratulations， you got triplets8.” The man was happy， “Hmm， strange I worked as a director for the ‘3 musketeers’.” Finally， the nurse comes up to the third man and says “Congratulations， you got quadruplets9.” The man is happy and says， “Ironic， I work for the hotel ‘4 Seasons’.” All three of them are happy until they see their last man jumping all over the place， and banged his head on the wall. They asked him what’s wrong and he answered， “What’s wrong？ I work for 7up！”
四个新爸爸
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了，他们的妻子正在生产。护士过来对第一个男人说：“恭喜，你得了双胞胎。”男人说：“巧了，我是明尼苏达双子队的经理。”过了一会儿，护士过来对第二个男人说：“恭喜，你得了三胞胎。”男人很喜欢：“嗯，又巧了。我是3M公司的董事。”最后，护士跑来对第三个男人说：“恭喜，你得了四胞胎。”男人很开心地说：“真令人啼笑皆非，我为四季宾馆工作。”他们三个都很高兴，但第四个伙伴急得跳了起来，并用头撞墙。他们问他有什么不对劲，他回答道：“什么不对劲？我可是在七喜公司工作的呀！”