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传统礼法对父子、夫妇、兄弟等家庭中的人伦关系有繁琐的规定,在现实生活中也有一整套的规矩仪节,体现出明显的尊卑高下秩序。但是,通过一些具代表性的明清家庭小说,我们可以清楚地看到,由于当事人的个性、经济能力以及家世背景等众多因素,人们在实际家庭生活中对礼法所持的态度并不一样;同样的家庭伦理规范对具体家庭中每个成员的心理、情感以及生活状况所造成的影响也不一样。也就是说,在相同的历史文化背景下,家庭生活具有明显的阶层性特点。在这些现象的背后,隐含的是礼法与人情之间的复杂关系,二者有重合又有分离,就“分离”一端而言,礼法与人情之间存在二律背反的关系。
The traditional etiquette has complicated rules on the relationship between men and children in couples such as father and son, couple, brother and so on. In the real life, there is also a whole set of rules and ceremonies, showing a clear order of superiority and inferiority. However, with some representative novels of the Ming and Qing dynasties, we can clearly see that people have different attitudes toward Etiquette in actual family life due to many factors such as the individual’s personality, economic ability and background of family life. Similarly Family ethics norms on each member of a specific family members of the psychological, emotional and living conditions caused by the impact is not the same. In other words, under the same historical and cultural background, family life has obvious hierarchical characteristics. Behind these phenomena, there is an implied complex relationship between the etiquette and the human relationship. The two are coincidental and separate. As far as the “separation” is concerned, there is an antinomy relationship between the etiquette and the human.