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姜经志 男,中学英语高级教师、省级骨干教师、淮北市优秀教师、中国外语学习学研究会会员、《学英语》《英语周报》特约编辑、《中学生英语》兼职编委。多年来,在省级以上报刊发表文章800余篇,并有多篇论文获奖。曾主编《初中生英语满分作文大全》《英语奥林匹克》《新目标英语八年级暑假作业》,参编《高中英语知识点反馈与阅读》《初中英语题典大全》《21世纪英语学习指南》《初中英语新作文》《中学生英语水平测试》等10余册,辅导学生30余人次在国家和省级英语竞赛中获奖。
There are many people around me, and① I love my mother best.
My mother is a farmer, and she is a good mother. She tries to do what she can make② me study at school. She always tells me to work hard and to be honest. Without my mother’s help, I can’t grow healthy③.
My mother is very busy every day. She gets up early to make breakfast. She takes care of whole the④ family. When I am ill, she often takes me to hospital and stays with me all the time. But when she is ill, she seldom goes to see the doctor.
I’ll do my best to be a good child. I’ll love my mother forever.
1. 優点:
这篇习作小作者通过浅显易懂的语言,表达了母亲在生活、学习、成长等方面对自己的爱,在文章最后作者也表达了自己的决心和对妈妈的美好祝愿。此外,本文语言也很真挚感人。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①and改为but。表示转折关系,应用连词but (但是)。
②make改为to make。to make与其后面构成的不定式短语作目的状语。
③healthy改为healthily。grow在这里是“成长”的意思,是实意动词,而不是系动词,所以应用副词healthily来修饰。
④whole the改为the whole。whole 意为“整个的”,应放在定冠词the的后面。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的标准,本文修改前可得18分。
There are many people around me, and① I love my mother best.
My mother is a farmer, and she is a good mother. She tries to do what she can make② me study at school. She always tells me to work hard and to be honest. Without my mother’s help, I can’t grow healthy③.
My mother is very busy every day. She gets up early to make breakfast. She takes care of whole the④ family. When I am ill, she often takes me to hospital and stays with me all the time. But when she is ill, she seldom goes to see the doctor.
I’ll do my best to be a good child. I’ll love my mother forever.
1. 優点:
这篇习作小作者通过浅显易懂的语言,表达了母亲在生活、学习、成长等方面对自己的爱,在文章最后作者也表达了自己的决心和对妈妈的美好祝愿。此外,本文语言也很真挚感人。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①and改为but。表示转折关系,应用连词but (但是)。
②make改为to make。to make与其后面构成的不定式短语作目的状语。
③healthy改为healthily。grow在这里是“成长”的意思,是实意动词,而不是系动词,所以应用副词healthily来修饰。
④whole the改为the whole。whole 意为“整个的”,应放在定冠词the的后面。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的标准,本文修改前可得18分。