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By Meg Hill
梅格·希尔
Thank God for the warm, understanding people in life who make it possible for my disabled daughter to be like her fellow human beings.
为身边这些给予我们温暖和理解的人们而感谢上帝,是他们让我那智障的孩子能像她的小伙伴们一样生活。
I didn’t cry when I learned I was the parent of a mentally handicapped child. I just sat still and didn’t say anything while my husband and I were informed that two-year-old Kristi was—as we suspected—retarded.
“Go ahead and cry,” the doctor advised kindly. “Helps prevent serious emotional difficulties.”
Serious difficulties notwithstanding, I couldn’t cry then nor during the months that followed.
When Kristi was old enough to attend school, we enrolled her in our neighborhood school’s kindergarten at age seven.
It would have been comforting to cry the day I left her in that room full of self-assured, eager, alert five-year-olds.Kristi had spent hour upon hour playing by herself, but this moment, when she was the “different” child among twenty, was probably the loneliest she had ever known.
However, positive things began to happen to Kristi in her school, and to her schoolmates, too. When boasting of their own accomplishments, Kristi’s classmates always took pains to praise her as well: “Kristi got all her spelling words right today.” No one bothered to add that her spelling list was easier than anyone else’s.
During Kristi’s second year in school, she faced a very traumatic experience. The big public event of the term was a competition based on a culmination of the year’s music and physical education activities. Kristi was way behind in both music and motor coordination. My husband and I dreaded the day as well.
On the day of the program, Kristi pretended to be sick. Desperately I wanted to keep her home. Why let Kristi fail in a gymnasium filled with parents, students and teachers? What a simple solution it would be just to let my child stay home. Surely missing one program couldn’t matter. But my conscience wouldn’t let me off that easily. So I practically shoved a pale, reluctant Kristi onto the school bus and proceeded to be sick myself.
Just as I had forced my daughter to go to school, now I forced myself to go to the program. It seemed that it would never be time for Kristi’s group to perform. When at last they did, I knew why Kristi had been worried. Her class was divided into relay teams. With her slow, clumsy reactions, she would surely hold up her team.
The performance went surprisingly well, though, until it was time for the gunnysack race. Now each child had to climb into a sack, hop to a goal line, return and climb out of the sack.
I watched Kristi standing near the end of her line of players, looking frantic.
But as Kristi’s turn to participate neared, a change took place in her team. The tallest boy in the line stepped behind Kristi and placed his hands on her waist. Two other boys stood a little ahead of her. The moment the player in front of Kristi stepped from the sack, those two boys grabbed the sack and held it open while the tall boy lifted Kristi and dropped her neatly into it. A girl in front of Kristi took her hand and supported her briefly until Kristi gained her balance. Then off she hopped, smiling and proud.
Amid the cheers of teachers, schoolmates and parents, I crept off by myself to thank God for the warm, understanding people in life who make it possible for my disabled daughter to be like her fellow human beings.
Then I finally cried.
我得知自己的孩子有智障时没有哭。当丈夫和我被告之我们两岁大的孩子克里斯蒂患有智力障碍时,这并未出乎我们的意料,我只是静静地坐着,没有说话。
“哭出来吧,”好心的医生劝慰道,“这有助于防止出现严重的情绪上的问题。”
尽管痛苦不已,我却一直哭不出来,在接下来的数月里依然如此。
当克里斯蒂到了入学的年龄,我们将她送进了邻近的幼儿园,那时她七岁。
有一天,我将她留在那个房间里,房间里都是自信,充满渴望而机灵的5岁的孩子。克里斯蒂独自度过了一个钟头又一个钟头。那时,或许是她觉得最孤独的时刻,因为在20个孩子中,只有她和别人不同。如果那时我哭出来,会是一种宽慰。
然而,令人可喜的变化发生在克里斯蒂身上,也发生在她的同学们身上。当要大家说说自己值得自豪的事情时,小伙伴们都对她赞许有加,“克里斯蒂今天拼对了所有的单词。”没有一个人接着说她的单词表比别人的要简单。
在克里斯蒂进入学校后的第二年,面对了一次艰难的经历。那是一次代表学年度内音乐与体育教学活动最高水平竞赛的大型活动。克里斯蒂无论音乐,还是运动协调方面都落人之后。那天,我的丈夫和我也十分揪心。
活动那天,克里斯蒂假装生病。我拼命地试图将她留在家里。为什么让克里斯蒂的体操课不及格,还当着一大堆家长、同学和老师的面?如果把她留在家里,事情的解决会十分容易。错过一次活动也无关紧要。可我自己的内心却说不过去。最后,我几乎是将脸色苍白、极不情愿的克里斯蒂狠狠拽上了校车,然后独自难过。
强迫自己的女儿去学校后,现在,我却要强迫自己去参加。看上去,克里斯蒂所在的团队似乎不会参加表演。然而,他们最后还是表演了,我也明白了为什么克里斯蒂如此焦虑。她所在的班级被分成小组,轮流表演。她迟钝、笨拙的反应,必然会影响自己的小组。
表演进行得出奇顺利,直到黄麻袋赛跑一项。此时,每个孩子必须钻进一个袋子,跳到终点线,然后返回,并钻出袋子。
我看着克里斯蒂站在小组的最后,慌乱不已。
快轮到她了,她的小组突然有了变化。个儿最高的一个孩子站到了克里斯蒂身后,把手放在她的腰上。另外两个小男孩儿站在比她稍靠前的位置。当上一个比赛的孩子从袋子里出来的一刻,站在前方的两个男孩一把抓过布袋,撑开袋口,高个子把克里斯蒂举起,轻巧地将她放进袋子里。另一个站在队伍前列的女孩儿过来牵起克里斯蒂的手,帮助她保持住了平衡。在那之后,克里斯蒂跳了起来,笑着,无比自豪。
在老师们、孩子们和家长的欢呼中,我独自溜出了人群,为身边这些给予我们温暖和理解的人们而感谢上帝,是他们让我那智障的孩子能像她的小伙伴一样生活。
那时我终于哭了。
梅格·希尔
Thank God for the warm, understanding people in life who make it possible for my disabled daughter to be like her fellow human beings.
为身边这些给予我们温暖和理解的人们而感谢上帝,是他们让我那智障的孩子能像她的小伙伴们一样生活。
I didn’t cry when I learned I was the parent of a mentally handicapped child. I just sat still and didn’t say anything while my husband and I were informed that two-year-old Kristi was—as we suspected—retarded.
“Go ahead and cry,” the doctor advised kindly. “Helps prevent serious emotional difficulties.”
Serious difficulties notwithstanding, I couldn’t cry then nor during the months that followed.
When Kristi was old enough to attend school, we enrolled her in our neighborhood school’s kindergarten at age seven.
It would have been comforting to cry the day I left her in that room full of self-assured, eager, alert five-year-olds.Kristi had spent hour upon hour playing by herself, but this moment, when she was the “different” child among twenty, was probably the loneliest she had ever known.
However, positive things began to happen to Kristi in her school, and to her schoolmates, too. When boasting of their own accomplishments, Kristi’s classmates always took pains to praise her as well: “Kristi got all her spelling words right today.” No one bothered to add that her spelling list was easier than anyone else’s.
During Kristi’s second year in school, she faced a very traumatic experience. The big public event of the term was a competition based on a culmination of the year’s music and physical education activities. Kristi was way behind in both music and motor coordination. My husband and I dreaded the day as well.
On the day of the program, Kristi pretended to be sick. Desperately I wanted to keep her home. Why let Kristi fail in a gymnasium filled with parents, students and teachers? What a simple solution it would be just to let my child stay home. Surely missing one program couldn’t matter. But my conscience wouldn’t let me off that easily. So I practically shoved a pale, reluctant Kristi onto the school bus and proceeded to be sick myself.
Just as I had forced my daughter to go to school, now I forced myself to go to the program. It seemed that it would never be time for Kristi’s group to perform. When at last they did, I knew why Kristi had been worried. Her class was divided into relay teams. With her slow, clumsy reactions, she would surely hold up her team.
The performance went surprisingly well, though, until it was time for the gunnysack race. Now each child had to climb into a sack, hop to a goal line, return and climb out of the sack.
I watched Kristi standing near the end of her line of players, looking frantic.
But as Kristi’s turn to participate neared, a change took place in her team. The tallest boy in the line stepped behind Kristi and placed his hands on her waist. Two other boys stood a little ahead of her. The moment the player in front of Kristi stepped from the sack, those two boys grabbed the sack and held it open while the tall boy lifted Kristi and dropped her neatly into it. A girl in front of Kristi took her hand and supported her briefly until Kristi gained her balance. Then off she hopped, smiling and proud.
Amid the cheers of teachers, schoolmates and parents, I crept off by myself to thank God for the warm, understanding people in life who make it possible for my disabled daughter to be like her fellow human beings.
Then I finally cried.
我得知自己的孩子有智障时没有哭。当丈夫和我被告之我们两岁大的孩子克里斯蒂患有智力障碍时,这并未出乎我们的意料,我只是静静地坐着,没有说话。
“哭出来吧,”好心的医生劝慰道,“这有助于防止出现严重的情绪上的问题。”
尽管痛苦不已,我却一直哭不出来,在接下来的数月里依然如此。
当克里斯蒂到了入学的年龄,我们将她送进了邻近的幼儿园,那时她七岁。
有一天,我将她留在那个房间里,房间里都是自信,充满渴望而机灵的5岁的孩子。克里斯蒂独自度过了一个钟头又一个钟头。那时,或许是她觉得最孤独的时刻,因为在20个孩子中,只有她和别人不同。如果那时我哭出来,会是一种宽慰。
然而,令人可喜的变化发生在克里斯蒂身上,也发生在她的同学们身上。当要大家说说自己值得自豪的事情时,小伙伴们都对她赞许有加,“克里斯蒂今天拼对了所有的单词。”没有一个人接着说她的单词表比别人的要简单。
在克里斯蒂进入学校后的第二年,面对了一次艰难的经历。那是一次代表学年度内音乐与体育教学活动最高水平竞赛的大型活动。克里斯蒂无论音乐,还是运动协调方面都落人之后。那天,我的丈夫和我也十分揪心。
活动那天,克里斯蒂假装生病。我拼命地试图将她留在家里。为什么让克里斯蒂的体操课不及格,还当着一大堆家长、同学和老师的面?如果把她留在家里,事情的解决会十分容易。错过一次活动也无关紧要。可我自己的内心却说不过去。最后,我几乎是将脸色苍白、极不情愿的克里斯蒂狠狠拽上了校车,然后独自难过。
强迫自己的女儿去学校后,现在,我却要强迫自己去参加。看上去,克里斯蒂所在的团队似乎不会参加表演。然而,他们最后还是表演了,我也明白了为什么克里斯蒂如此焦虑。她所在的班级被分成小组,轮流表演。她迟钝、笨拙的反应,必然会影响自己的小组。
表演进行得出奇顺利,直到黄麻袋赛跑一项。此时,每个孩子必须钻进一个袋子,跳到终点线,然后返回,并钻出袋子。
我看着克里斯蒂站在小组的最后,慌乱不已。
快轮到她了,她的小组突然有了变化。个儿最高的一个孩子站到了克里斯蒂身后,把手放在她的腰上。另外两个小男孩儿站在比她稍靠前的位置。当上一个比赛的孩子从袋子里出来的一刻,站在前方的两个男孩一把抓过布袋,撑开袋口,高个子把克里斯蒂举起,轻巧地将她放进袋子里。另一个站在队伍前列的女孩儿过来牵起克里斯蒂的手,帮助她保持住了平衡。在那之后,克里斯蒂跳了起来,笑着,无比自豪。
在老师们、孩子们和家长的欢呼中,我独自溜出了人群,为身边这些给予我们温暖和理解的人们而感谢上帝,是他们让我那智障的孩子能像她的小伙伴一样生活。
那时我终于哭了。