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主持人说:连续阅读了好几期的留美文章,本期《留学》为大家推荐英国大学的申请文书。
主持人_王众 邓茗文
Genes, the most exquisite masterpieces of nature, have long appealed me.My mother used to be a Paediatrician, she has given me some knowledge about genetic diseases. I still recall a child that my mother had diagnosed who suffered from Down Syndrome—his eyes were separated far apart, his eyelids were creased and he had severe mental retardation. Since then my interest in Genetics was hence rooted in my heart.
Although gene technology has brought tremendous advances to our life, it still can do little to a number of patients suffering from genetic diseases. This is what motivates me to explore further in this field. My ambition is to improve or even discover some techniques in gene therapy to treat genetic diseases.
Supplementary readings on Genetics and on other areas of Biology have broadened my horizon, I realise that this subject is far more profound than I thought. I found that everything in a genetic phenomenon can be so intricate. Examples like translocation between non-homologous chromosomes, bacterial conjugation and chromosomal inversion still appear to be unpredictable and incomprehensible to me, but I believe in their mechanisms which may be the key to my further research. Among the books I have read through, the Selfish Gene impressed me most and changed my view to Biology immensely, because I had never thought that the philosophical logics could be so crucial and exciting in such a scientific subject. This book has guided me to a more objective and balanced perspective on studying biology.
In the summer holiday I spent one month in the molecular Biology laboratory in Kunming Institute of Botany, Chinese Academy of Sciences. I designed and finished an experiment project investigating the genetic variation of some gene regions between different species of plants and within a species of plant. My experiment started from collecting of plant leaf samples, followed by the extraction of plant DNA. I learned to test roughly the purity of extracted DNA using a nanodrop spectrometer and agarose gel electrophoresis. Next I ran the polymerase chain reaction with the DNA samples and different primers. The PCR products were then purified with enzymes followed by a sequencing PCR reaction. Finally after being precipitated, washed, dried and re-dissolved, the DNA products are sequenced. Through analysis of the chromatogram results I had successfully obtained 91 DNA sequences of different genes in total and I had completed a report based on my lab work results and conclusions. This lab work experience has provided me with a great deal of knowledge and practical skills in a laboratory. I am confident that this extraordinary experience will be an important step to my future scientific research. Furthermore I have also visited the seed bank there where I learnt some techniques in investigating and preserving plant seeds. I am a versatile person in my spare time. I like playing table tennis and snooker, because I am keen on predicting the path of the spinning ball. I used to be a leader of the cooking club at school and have organised some school events including a sale of pancakes for charity. My favourite hobby is cooking and I am a chef at heart. I love cooking and creating both Chinese and Western dishes. What I look for is not only the taste, but the elegance and art of food: the shapes, the combination of colours and the ambience created. I usually share my dishes with my family and friends, and this has become a stylish way of communication.
I have been longing for studying Genetics at university in order to unveil its mysterious nature that has obsessed me. As a creative and enthusiastic student, I would devote myself to this subject and strive for a successful career.
《留学》点评
这是本栏目第一次为大家介绍理科生申请英国本科的文书。剑桥大学给我们的印象是保守而严谨的,作者作为一个意气风发的18岁男生,通篇的文字一不张扬、二注重细节,与目标学校气质相符。
不过,这篇文章行文的流畅度不够,句子的节奏感欠佳,整体稍感青涩。但作为一个高中毕业生申请本科的PS,实在难能可贵了。
1、 散文式开头。后半句的“吸引我很久了”引出下文和读者兴趣。
2、 英美国家的家族感和传承感很强。家族渊源对于申请有着潜移默化的好影响。这也不是我们第一次在文书的开端看到学生回忆家庭对自己兴趣的影响。
3、用快节奏的语言进行细节描写,可以凸显真诚并给读者留下深刻的印象。
4、作者很善于使用散文式的、略带煽情的语言。
5、一个致力于解决问题的目标才称得上雄心壮志。这里作者措辞还是比较保守的,没有直接用“discover”。显得很严谨。
6、 看不懂吧?那就对了,PS里总要适度地秀出自己的专业知识,但是未必需要长篇累牍,一个充满学术写作范儿的长难句是加分的 ,不过不要出现过多。
7、本段一开头就提到自己读了大量的专业书籍。此处更是提出自己印象最深的一本,既满足了读者的本能反应,也可为面试留下谈资、话题。
8、既写出了自己从书中学到了什么,又展现了自己现在理性客观的科研精神。
9、 这个开头有些突兀,如果能加入一个承上启下的句子就更好了。
10、Sth. started from … followed by …是个好句式,简洁地表达出前后句的逻辑关系。
11、不错的承上启下。总结了前文自己的实际操作能力,又可平滑过渡到下文的感悟。
12、“对预测走向很有热情”,这不仅是个好运动员的心理素质也是个好科学家的心理素质。
13、 信息量很大的一句话:leader,领导力;cooking club,自己的烹饪爱好;organise events,组织能力;charity,社会责任感及有爱心。
14、 自创菜谱,创造力是做科研的宝贵品质哦。
15、色香味俱全的散文体说法。
16、 这是一句非常高尚的结尾了。
《留学》点评人王众
广东外语外贸大学英语专业本科,英国卡迪夫大学国际新闻系硕士,曾DIY申请资料,了解文书写 作。
孟根屹 (本期文书作者)
剑桥大学本科生物系学生。2013年年鉴里,被列入该校生物学科最优秀的学生,也是当年唯一一个获此殊荣的学生。在本期《留学》家长会中,他的妈妈胡萍分享了自己11年非主流教育下,孟根屹的成长与思考。这份助他入主申请剑桥的文书正是对他前18年成长的回应与总结。
主持人_王众 邓茗文
Genes, the most exquisite masterpieces of nature, have long appealed me.My mother used to be a Paediatrician, she has given me some knowledge about genetic diseases. I still recall a child that my mother had diagnosed who suffered from Down Syndrome—his eyes were separated far apart, his eyelids were creased and he had severe mental retardation. Since then my interest in Genetics was hence rooted in my heart.
Although gene technology has brought tremendous advances to our life, it still can do little to a number of patients suffering from genetic diseases. This is what motivates me to explore further in this field. My ambition is to improve or even discover some techniques in gene therapy to treat genetic diseases.
Supplementary readings on Genetics and on other areas of Biology have broadened my horizon, I realise that this subject is far more profound than I thought. I found that everything in a genetic phenomenon can be so intricate. Examples like translocation between non-homologous chromosomes, bacterial conjugation and chromosomal inversion still appear to be unpredictable and incomprehensible to me, but I believe in their mechanisms which may be the key to my further research. Among the books I have read through, the Selfish Gene impressed me most and changed my view to Biology immensely, because I had never thought that the philosophical logics could be so crucial and exciting in such a scientific subject. This book has guided me to a more objective and balanced perspective on studying biology.
In the summer holiday I spent one month in the molecular Biology laboratory in Kunming Institute of Botany, Chinese Academy of Sciences. I designed and finished an experiment project investigating the genetic variation of some gene regions between different species of plants and within a species of plant. My experiment started from collecting of plant leaf samples, followed by the extraction of plant DNA. I learned to test roughly the purity of extracted DNA using a nanodrop spectrometer and agarose gel electrophoresis. Next I ran the polymerase chain reaction with the DNA samples and different primers. The PCR products were then purified with enzymes followed by a sequencing PCR reaction. Finally after being precipitated, washed, dried and re-dissolved, the DNA products are sequenced. Through analysis of the chromatogram results I had successfully obtained 91 DNA sequences of different genes in total and I had completed a report based on my lab work results and conclusions. This lab work experience has provided me with a great deal of knowledge and practical skills in a laboratory. I am confident that this extraordinary experience will be an important step to my future scientific research. Furthermore I have also visited the seed bank there where I learnt some techniques in investigating and preserving plant seeds. I am a versatile person in my spare time. I like playing table tennis and snooker, because I am keen on predicting the path of the spinning ball. I used to be a leader of the cooking club at school and have organised some school events including a sale of pancakes for charity. My favourite hobby is cooking and I am a chef at heart. I love cooking and creating both Chinese and Western dishes. What I look for is not only the taste, but the elegance and art of food: the shapes, the combination of colours and the ambience created. I usually share my dishes with my family and friends, and this has become a stylish way of communication.
I have been longing for studying Genetics at university in order to unveil its mysterious nature that has obsessed me. As a creative and enthusiastic student, I would devote myself to this subject and strive for a successful career.
《留学》点评
这是本栏目第一次为大家介绍理科生申请英国本科的文书。剑桥大学给我们的印象是保守而严谨的,作者作为一个意气风发的18岁男生,通篇的文字一不张扬、二注重细节,与目标学校气质相符。
不过,这篇文章行文的流畅度不够,句子的节奏感欠佳,整体稍感青涩。但作为一个高中毕业生申请本科的PS,实在难能可贵了。
1、 散文式开头。后半句的“吸引我很久了”引出下文和读者兴趣。
2、 英美国家的家族感和传承感很强。家族渊源对于申请有着潜移默化的好影响。这也不是我们第一次在文书的开端看到学生回忆家庭对自己兴趣的影响。
3、用快节奏的语言进行细节描写,可以凸显真诚并给读者留下深刻的印象。
4、作者很善于使用散文式的、略带煽情的语言。
5、一个致力于解决问题的目标才称得上雄心壮志。这里作者措辞还是比较保守的,没有直接用“discover”。显得很严谨。
6、 看不懂吧?那就对了,PS里总要适度地秀出自己的专业知识,但是未必需要长篇累牍,一个充满学术写作范儿的长难句是加分的 ,不过不要出现过多。
7、本段一开头就提到自己读了大量的专业书籍。此处更是提出自己印象最深的一本,既满足了读者的本能反应,也可为面试留下谈资、话题。
8、既写出了自己从书中学到了什么,又展现了自己现在理性客观的科研精神。
9、 这个开头有些突兀,如果能加入一个承上启下的句子就更好了。
10、Sth. started from … followed by …是个好句式,简洁地表达出前后句的逻辑关系。
11、不错的承上启下。总结了前文自己的实际操作能力,又可平滑过渡到下文的感悟。
12、“对预测走向很有热情”,这不仅是个好运动员的心理素质也是个好科学家的心理素质。
13、 信息量很大的一句话:leader,领导力;cooking club,自己的烹饪爱好;organise events,组织能力;charity,社会责任感及有爱心。
14、 自创菜谱,创造力是做科研的宝贵品质哦。
15、色香味俱全的散文体说法。
16、 这是一句非常高尚的结尾了。
《留学》点评人王众
广东外语外贸大学英语专业本科,英国卡迪夫大学国际新闻系硕士,曾DIY申请资料,了解文书写 作。
孟根屹 (本期文书作者)
剑桥大学本科生物系学生。2013年年鉴里,被列入该校生物学科最优秀的学生,也是当年唯一一个获此殊荣的学生。在本期《留学》家长会中,他的妈妈胡萍分享了自己11年非主流教育下,孟根屹的成长与思考。这份助他入主申请剑桥的文书正是对他前18年成长的回应与总结。