点评:文章语言流畅生动,结构独具匠心,题目新颖,题记以中肯的议论和鲜明的对比照应题目且深情表意:内容充实,按照时间顺序,从儿时写到现在,把自己的成长轨迹和父母的艰辛、关爱融为一体,心理活动和思想变化刻画得非常细腻,多种真挚而复杂的情感循序渐进地显现又和谐地交织在一起,丰满了形象丰富了情感。(指导老师:钟玲)你们给予我的一切,这辈子我也还不清,而我回报你们的却是一头的白发,那是我用我的叛逆一根根染上去的。——题记儿时,你们教会我迈出了人生的第一步,从那时候开始,你们就蓦然回首,那大大小小的脚印,是我成长的证据,也是你们衰老的痕迹。一路 Comments: The article is fluent in language and vivid, the structure of originality, the title is novel, the inscription to fair discussion and sharp contrast to reflect the subject and affectionate idea: content enrichment, in chronological order, from childhood to write now, their own growth path and parents Hardships, care and integration, changes in psychological activity and thinking are very delicate, a variety of sincere and complex emotions gradually and harmoniously woven together, full of images enriched the emotion. (Instructor: Zhong Ling) You gave me everything in my life, I also unclear, and I return you are a white hair, that is, I use my rebellion rooted. - inscription childhood, you taught me to take the first step in my life, from then on, you suddenly look back, that small and large footprint is evidence of my growth, but also traces of your aging. All the way