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(A)
Woman at movies: If my hat prevents(妨碍)
you from seeing the film, I’ll remove it.
Man: Please don’t bother(麻烦).Your hat is funnier than the film.
(B)
Doctor: Your pulse(脉搏)is as steady(稳定的)as a clock.
Patient: Well, that’s because you have your hand on my wristwatch.
(C)
Lady(to clerk): I’d like to buy a sweater for my dog.
Clerk: What size?
Lady: I have no idea.
Clerk: Why don’t you bring in the dog and try one on?
Lady: Oh, I can’t do that. I want it to be a surprise!
(D)
Taxi driver(to passenger): I forgot to turn on the meter(计程器) and I don’t know how much to charge(收费)you.
Passenger: That’s okay. I forgot to bring money, so I can’t pay you anyway.
(E)
Father: Where tonight’s paper?
Jack: I wrapped(包)the garbage(垃圾,废物)in it and threw it out.
Father: I wanted to see it.
Jack: There wasn’t much to see. Only a banana peel(果皮), a steak bone and some fish bones.
(F)
Mother: Please close the window, son. It’s cold outside.
Son: If I close the window, will it be warm outside?
(G)
Herbie: Are you going to use your bike today?
Henry: Yes,I’m sorry.
Herbie: Good, then you won’t be needing your tennis racket(网球拍). May I borrow it?
(H)
Student: Professor, how come you use three pairs of glasses?
Absent-minded(心不在焉的)professor: Well, one is for close work,one is for distance, and the third is to look for the other two.
(I)
Fred: My teacher does good bird imitations(模仿鸟的动作).
Ted: What kind of bird?
Fred: She watches me like a hawk(鹰).
(J)
Angry diner: Hey, waiter. This soup tastes like dish water(洗碗水).
Waiter: How do you know? Have you been tasting dish water lately?
(K)
Old man(to boy): I’ll give you 50 cents if you can guess my age, Sonny.
Boy: You’re 60.
Old man: How did you know?
Boy: My dad only gives me a quarter(25 cents)and he’s 30.
(L)
Fahter (in a rage生气):Look at all these bills(账单)!Meat, rice, vegetables...the costs keep going up all of them!I wish just one thing would go down!
Sam: Dad, here’s my report card(成绩单).
Woman at movies: If my hat prevents(妨碍)
you from seeing the film, I’ll remove it.
Man: Please don’t bother(麻烦).Your hat is funnier than the film.
(B)
Doctor: Your pulse(脉搏)is as steady(稳定的)as a clock.
Patient: Well, that’s because you have your hand on my wristwatch.
(C)
Lady(to clerk): I’d like to buy a sweater for my dog.
Clerk: What size?
Lady: I have no idea.
Clerk: Why don’t you bring in the dog and try one on?
Lady: Oh, I can’t do that. I want it to be a surprise!
(D)
Taxi driver(to passenger): I forgot to turn on the meter(计程器) and I don’t know how much to charge(收费)you.
Passenger: That’s okay. I forgot to bring money, so I can’t pay you anyway.
(E)
Father: Where tonight’s paper?
Jack: I wrapped(包)the garbage(垃圾,废物)in it and threw it out.
Father: I wanted to see it.
Jack: There wasn’t much to see. Only a banana peel(果皮), a steak bone and some fish bones.
(F)
Mother: Please close the window, son. It’s cold outside.
Son: If I close the window, will it be warm outside?
(G)
Herbie: Are you going to use your bike today?
Henry: Yes,I’m sorry.
Herbie: Good, then you won’t be needing your tennis racket(网球拍). May I borrow it?
(H)
Student: Professor, how come you use three pairs of glasses?
Absent-minded(心不在焉的)professor: Well, one is for close work,one is for distance, and the third is to look for the other two.
(I)
Fred: My teacher does good bird imitations(模仿鸟的动作).
Ted: What kind of bird?
Fred: She watches me like a hawk(鹰).
(J)
Angry diner: Hey, waiter. This soup tastes like dish water(洗碗水).
Waiter: How do you know? Have you been tasting dish water lately?
(K)
Old man(to boy): I’ll give you 50 cents if you can guess my age, Sonny.
Boy: You’re 60.
Old man: How did you know?
Boy: My dad only gives me a quarter(25 cents)and he’s 30.
(L)
Fahter (in a rage生气):Look at all these bills(账单)!Meat, rice, vegetables...the costs keep going up all of them!I wish just one thing would go down!
Sam: Dad, here’s my report card(成绩单).