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【Abstract】In modern society, it’s unavoidable for people of different genders to communicate with each other. By analyzing the movie Sleepless in Seattle, This article uses Deborah Tannen’s genderlect theory to help bridge the misunderstanding between men and women in communication process. Through this way, the differences between men and women can be better understood.
【Key words】
【中图分类号】G115【文献标识码】A【文章编号】1001-4128(2011)02-0127-01
I Introduction
In the recent history of linguistics, there have been various approaches to analyze women’s and men’s speech. Various studies were done in order to find out if men and women speak differently. Traditionally, many theories claim that conversations between men and women reflect men’s efforts to dominate women. However, Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University, assumes that male and female conversational styles are equally valid and she states that male-female conversation is cross-cultural communication. In this paper, the author adopts Deborah Tannen’s theory[1,2,3] to analyze the world-famous, touching romance, Sleepless in Seattle.
II Deborah Tannen’s theory
Men and women may grow up in the same country, in the same society, but they are members of different genders and culture. Tannen is convinced that misunderstanding occurs all the time between women and men[3]. There are gender differences in the way they speak. Even when they use the same terms, they may be interpreted differently by men and women. Male and female conversation styles are equally valid, but at times it seems that they are speaking different genderlects. As men and women belong to different cultures, during the communication process, Tannen[2,3] says men are concerned mainly with status while women feel it crucial that they be liked by their peers, and what they desire is connection. In the male world, they are concerned with power and status. Men strive for independence and high social status. In communication, they seek to establish one-up position. They use talk as a weapon. While for women, what they desire is intimacy. When they talk, they tend to hold eye contact, offer head nods or other responses to show they are listening and they tend to be cooperative instead of being competitive. Women also ask questions to establish a connection with others by using tag questions. When communicate with the members of the same gender, there isn’t so many obstacles and misunderstandings. By contrast, when men and women are involved in the conversation, misunderstanding, unhappy feelings, disappointment may come along.
III Theory application
The following are extracts from the original movie:
Sam: (picking up the receiver) Hello?
Dr: Hello, Sam. This is Dr. Marsha Fieldstone on Network America.
Sa: Ok, what are you selling tonight? The micro hibachis or the ginsu knives?
Dr: No, I’ m not selling anything. I just want to help. I want you to know that your son called and he asked me for some advice on how you might find a new wife.
Sa: Who is this?
Dr: Dr. Marsha Fieldstone of Network America and you are on the air.
Sa: (to Jonah) you called the radio station?
Dr: Sam, Sam, are you with me?
Sa: Yeah, yes.
Dr: Your son feels that since your wife’s death you’ve been very unhappy and he’s genuinely worried about you.
Sa: (to Jonah) Hey, get out here. Get out here! Come on! Now I’ m not going to go through this alone.
Dr: I think it’s very hard for him to talk to you about all this and I thought maybe you and I could talk. Maybe it would make Jonah feel a little better, Sam?
Jo: (to Sam) Talk to her, dad, she’s a doctor.
S: Of what? Her first name could be “Doctor”
Jo: Please.
Dr: Sam. Sam. It’s his Christmas wish.
Sa: Ok.
Dr: Ok. Good. Now I know this is difficult, but how long ago did our wife die?
Sa: About a year and a half ago.
Dr: Have you had any relationships since?
Sa: No.
Dr: No? Why not?
Sa: Ah, Marsha, or should I call you Dr. Fieldstone.
Dr: Dr. Marsha.
Sa: & An: Dr. Marsha.
Sa: I don’t mean to be rude....
Dr: ... and I don’ t want to invade your privacy.
Sa: & An: Sure you do.
From the above conversation, we can see that Sam’s conversation is a typical way of the men seek to establish a one-up position. Sam mainly concerns with status and he wants to show his independence and conceal his sorrows at the very beginning of the conversation. When the doctor first asks him questions he tries to avoid answering her questions directly and only gives brief answers because he wants to protect his masculine mighty image. When the doctor says that she doesn’t want to be rude, Sam says sure she does .From this we can see he doesn’t want to cooperate with the doctor at the very beginning. For a man, status is above all. He uses talk as a weapon to protect himself and his image. Eventually Sam is unusual in that he’s willing to share his stories with the doctor and the audience. During his later talk we can also find he often use long sentences because he wants to convey his information and command the attention of the listeners.
V Conclusion
In our lives, it’s unavoidable for people of different genders to communicate with each other especially in such a knowledge explosion society. We are living in the global village, so every day we should communicate with people. By analyzing the movie Sleepless in Seattle, we can better understand the differences between men and women. In our communication process we can use Deborah Tannen’s theory to guide us to bridge the misunderstanding between men and women.
References
[1] Tannen, Deborah (2006). “Language and culture”. In Ralph W. Fasold and Jeff Connor-Linton. An Introduction to Language and Linguistics. Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0-521-61235-7
[2] Tannen, Deborah (1990). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Morrow.
【Key words】
【中图分类号】G115【文献标识码】A【文章编号】1001-4128(2011)02-0127-01
I Introduction
In the recent history of linguistics, there have been various approaches to analyze women’s and men’s speech. Various studies were done in order to find out if men and women speak differently. Traditionally, many theories claim that conversations between men and women reflect men’s efforts to dominate women. However, Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University, assumes that male and female conversational styles are equally valid and she states that male-female conversation is cross-cultural communication. In this paper, the author adopts Deborah Tannen’s theory[1,2,3] to analyze the world-famous, touching romance, Sleepless in Seattle.
II Deborah Tannen’s theory
Men and women may grow up in the same country, in the same society, but they are members of different genders and culture. Tannen is convinced that misunderstanding occurs all the time between women and men[3]. There are gender differences in the way they speak. Even when they use the same terms, they may be interpreted differently by men and women. Male and female conversation styles are equally valid, but at times it seems that they are speaking different genderlects. As men and women belong to different cultures, during the communication process, Tannen[2,3] says men are concerned mainly with status while women feel it crucial that they be liked by their peers, and what they desire is connection. In the male world, they are concerned with power and status. Men strive for independence and high social status. In communication, they seek to establish one-up position. They use talk as a weapon. While for women, what they desire is intimacy. When they talk, they tend to hold eye contact, offer head nods or other responses to show they are listening and they tend to be cooperative instead of being competitive. Women also ask questions to establish a connection with others by using tag questions. When communicate with the members of the same gender, there isn’t so many obstacles and misunderstandings. By contrast, when men and women are involved in the conversation, misunderstanding, unhappy feelings, disappointment may come along.
III Theory application
The following are extracts from the original movie:
Sam: (picking up the receiver) Hello?
Dr: Hello, Sam. This is Dr. Marsha Fieldstone on Network America.
Sa: Ok, what are you selling tonight? The micro hibachis or the ginsu knives?
Dr: No, I’ m not selling anything. I just want to help. I want you to know that your son called and he asked me for some advice on how you might find a new wife.
Sa: Who is this?
Dr: Dr. Marsha Fieldstone of Network America and you are on the air.
Sa: (to Jonah) you called the radio station?
Dr: Sam, Sam, are you with me?
Sa: Yeah, yes.
Dr: Your son feels that since your wife’s death you’ve been very unhappy and he’s genuinely worried about you.
Sa: (to Jonah) Hey, get out here. Get out here! Come on! Now I’ m not going to go through this alone.
Dr: I think it’s very hard for him to talk to you about all this and I thought maybe you and I could talk. Maybe it would make Jonah feel a little better, Sam?
Jo: (to Sam) Talk to her, dad, she’s a doctor.
S: Of what? Her first name could be “Doctor”
Jo: Please.
Dr: Sam. Sam. It’s his Christmas wish.
Sa: Ok.
Dr: Ok. Good. Now I know this is difficult, but how long ago did our wife die?
Sa: About a year and a half ago.
Dr: Have you had any relationships since?
Sa: No.
Dr: No? Why not?
Sa: Ah, Marsha, or should I call you Dr. Fieldstone.
Dr: Dr. Marsha.
Sa: & An: Dr. Marsha.
Sa: I don’t mean to be rude....
Dr: ... and I don’ t want to invade your privacy.
Sa: & An: Sure you do.
From the above conversation, we can see that Sam’s conversation is a typical way of the men seek to establish a one-up position. Sam mainly concerns with status and he wants to show his independence and conceal his sorrows at the very beginning of the conversation. When the doctor first asks him questions he tries to avoid answering her questions directly and only gives brief answers because he wants to protect his masculine mighty image. When the doctor says that she doesn’t want to be rude, Sam says sure she does .From this we can see he doesn’t want to cooperate with the doctor at the very beginning. For a man, status is above all. He uses talk as a weapon to protect himself and his image. Eventually Sam is unusual in that he’s willing to share his stories with the doctor and the audience. During his later talk we can also find he often use long sentences because he wants to convey his information and command the attention of the listeners.
V Conclusion
In our lives, it’s unavoidable for people of different genders to communicate with each other especially in such a knowledge explosion society. We are living in the global village, so every day we should communicate with people. By analyzing the movie Sleepless in Seattle, we can better understand the differences between men and women. In our communication process we can use Deborah Tannen’s theory to guide us to bridge the misunderstanding between men and women.
References
[1] Tannen, Deborah (2006). “Language and culture”. In Ralph W. Fasold and Jeff Connor-Linton. An Introduction to Language and Linguistics. Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0-521-61235-7
[2] Tannen, Deborah (1990). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Morrow.