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钱锺书先生与晚辈学生交往时,常以平等的恳切的态度相待。他从不好为人师,甚至对自己真正培育过的学子也不愿以师的身份相待。复旦大学中文系教授王水照是我北大的同窗,1964年大学毕业后,他分配到中国社会科学院(时称哲学社会科学学部)文学研究所做研究生,所里指派辅导他的导师就是钱先生。水照多次得意地同我说起钱锺书是自己的导师。但钱先生始终不愿认他这个学生。水照在怀念钱先生的一篇文章中说:
When Mr. Chien Chung-shu interacted with his junior students, he often treated him in an equal and sincere manner. He is never good teacher, and even true to their own students do not want to treat him as a teacher. Wang Shuizhao, a professor of Chinese at Fudan University, was a student of Peking University. After graduating from college in 1964, he was assigned as a graduate student at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences (sometimes referred to as the Department of Philosophy and Social Sciences) where he was mentored by Mr. Qian. Shuizhao repeatedly spoke with me proudly of Qian Zhongshu as his mentor. However, Mr. Qian has always been unwilling to recognize him as a student. According to an article by Qian who remembers Qian,