老外教你汉译英(十一)

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  词语的选择首先关乎译文是否准确,例如《样章》的推荐语部分常见的“小说”这个词。在汉语里,无论短篇中篇长篇,一律冠之以“小说”是没有任何问题的,英译时则有必要区分到底是short story,还是novella甚或novel。
  词语的选择还关乎译文是否生动。在这个方面,英语母语译者具备更为敏锐的洞察力,往往能够“本能”地找到合适的方式。要注意的是,汉语追求“文采”,喜欢大词,四字格也常常出现,但我们在汉译英的时候首先要学会的,恰恰是如何使用小词。如:
  例1:
  被征求过意见的三派人也很不满,觉得这围墙吸收正确的意见太少,于是指指点点、冷嘲热讽。而所长居然也说想不到小马先斩后奏。(陆文夫《围墙》作品梗概)
  But for now, Ma would just have to settle with their critiques and eye-rolling, especially from those he consulted, as well as Wu’s sudden turnaround, saying: “I didn’t greenlight this design!”
  三处下画线,除critiques以外全是小词。“指指点点、冷嘲热讽”的译文critiques and eye-rolling很有趣:一个庄重,一个充满谐趣和动感。两个词的组合亦庄亦谐,描绘出了那种众人观望评论的热闹场面。同样是成语,“冷嘲热讽”还算好翻,毕竟它背后没有什么文化背景信息,而“先斩后奏”则来自古代皇权的使用机制,虽然后来大家广泛采用其引申意义,但这个成语毕竟还是有些文化因素的。金山词霸给出了这样一些译文供选择:behead sb first then make all known to the Emperor; act first and report afterwards; execute one on the spot without prior approval from the court; kill sb first then to report.译者用的却只有一个小词,greenlight,往往指上级批准下级做某事,抛开了该成语在本语境中的冗余信息,译得轻松巧妙。
  而且例1译文的句子结构选择也很轻松到位。原文是一个比较复杂的句群,译文用settle with带了三个宾语,轻轻松松就把好几层意思都容纳进去了。例1的处理技巧也有助于我们更加深刻地理解谓语选择的精髓。
  同样拨冗去繁、直指词汇核心表达意图的还有:
  例2:
  婚姻的迅速了结与当初的激烈争夺形成了难以理喻的对照。而分手后的欲说还休、不思量自难忘也多多少少透露出当代人的困惑。(万方《一一之吻》推荐语)
  The speedy dissolution of the marriage forms an absurd contrast with the intensity of the initial contest. Meanwhile, the unspoken regrets and misgivings after a breakup and the inability to forget the past reveal one of the problems people face today.
  寫作者是中国文学批评方面的大家,自然是饱读诗书,不由自主就会用典。“欲说还休”来自“少年不识愁滋味”,“不思量自难忘”也让读者想到苏轼对亡妻的深情。两处用典,都可谓言有尽而意无穷。翻译时读者对象变了,掌握的背景信息也变了,典故就成为译者最难处理的内容之一:译者首先要判断该语境中有没有必要告诉读者是在用典;如果判断需要告知用典,那么就需要思考怎样用最简洁的语言表达背景信息,既保证相关,又不致因过量而打断阅读(参见《背景信息的处理》)。译者显然认为在该语境中,用典是作者文化修养不经意间的表现,所以没有必要向译文读者介绍典故,只要用准确流畅的语言传递原文信息就够了。
  很多教材都列有专门篇幅讨论成语等四字格的翻译问题。我们再看一个例子。
  例3:
  讨论会开得热闹非凡却不能统一意见,结果不欢而散。(陆文夫《围墙》作品梗概)
  The meeting held afterwards practically boiled over, everybody leaving with a thorn in their side.
  “不欢而散”,金山词霸的译文是“part (break up, end, disperse) in discord (with ill feelings, anger)”,意思当然是正确的,却不如a thorn in their side那么生动。译者高明与否,有时在于是否能够灵活使用人人都认识的小词。
  我们发现,成语也罢,普通词汇也罢,母语译者直接解析词汇在特定语境中的核心要义,然后将其准确生动地传达出来。这是优秀的译者在词汇选择方面的第一层境界。
  第二层境界,指译者能体会作者在词汇使用方面的积极修辞意图,并做准确传达。
  例4:
  “你的目光把我脸烤红了。”袁哲抗议。
  “我的目标是把你烤熟,”金枝说,“外焦里嫩,片成一片片儿的,吃掉。”(金仁顺《纪念我的朋友金枝》作品梗概)
  “Your gaze is burning,” Yuan Zhe would protest.
  “I’m going to cook you up just right,” Jin Zhi would respond. “You’ll be seared on the outside and tender within, then I can slice you up and gobble you down.”   “把脸烤红”当然可以用make me blush之类。原文的妙处是“烤”字,既“烤红”又“烤熟”,上下两句衔接自然紧密,属sustained metaphor(博喻)。译者透彻理解这一词汇游戏之妙,用burning表达“令人脸红的”,再用cook up表达“烤熟”,两个动词连在一起使用,逻辑通顺而连贯。
  在词汇选择方面,优秀译者还有第三层境界,即巧妙遵从译入语思维和表达习惯,从而看不出翻译的痕迹。
  例5:
  黛二小姐慵困倦怠地躺在床上胡思乱想着什么。晨光已透过窗幔斜洒在被子上。窗帘是黯红色的,虽然窗外远处的街上已是车水马龙,人流不息,天空已是雪亮灿白,一清如洗,房间里却仍然是一片黯黯淡淡的暖颜色。(陈染《无处告别》作品节选)
  Dai Two’s mind wandered as she lay in bed, tired. A bit of sunlight started to creep past her curtains, her covers showing a soft periwinkle; and though her room was enveloped in warm darkness, the town outside her wine-colored curtains bustled and shimmered bright white under the morning sun.
  如果不是Dai Two这么个奇怪的名字显得突兀,这一段真看不出是译文。无论是“透过窗幔”的creep past her curtains、“是……暖颜色”的was enveloped这两处动感词汇的选择,还是warm darkness这种抽象名词结构的使用,都完全像是在用英文做原创书写。
  在名词、动词、形容词、副词的使用方面,母语译者都给出了很精妙的例子。
  例6:
  我们之间的确出了问题,但我们都没有耐心和时间去解决。(蒋一谈《透明》作品节选)
  例6实在太简单!初学者都能轻松译成:We did have problems, but we didn’t have the patience or time to solve them. 嗯,文从字顺,很好!可以翻下一句了。可是且慢,看看母语译者是怎么做的:
  We both made mistakes—brand new mistakes. But neither of us gave them the time or energy they deserved.
  deserve让笔者吃惊:囿于汉语思维习惯,我自己是想不到这么用的。母语译者笔下的常用词和小词,非常值得仔细体会并逐渐模仿。
  例7:
  聚会结束,大家鸟兽散时,她提起纸袋往袁哲手里一塞。袁哲接得也很顺手,仿佛那本来就是他的纸袋。(金仁顺《纪念我的朋友金枝》作品节选)
  When the gatherings end, she stuffs the paper bag into the hands of Yuan Zhe, who readily takes the gift as if it has always been meant for him.
  例8:
  在马路边转了个弯,我就迅速懊悔起来。(刘索拉《你不可改变我》作品节选)
  A dagger of regret pierced my heart when I rounded the corner.
  例9:
  我們走到街上。满天淡淡的星星,还有一月淡淡的月亮。(刘索拉《你不可改变我》作品节选)
  We came to the road. The sky above was filled with dimly lit stars and the shadowy moon of January.
  例10:
  可马全从来没进去过,他舍不得花那钱哪。(刘玉栋《幸福的一天》作品节选)
  He had never visited one, though, as he couldn’t bear to part with the money.
  当然,母语译者也存在他们自己意识不到的问题,如不止一位译者用Second Sino-Japanese War来翻译“抗日战争”。该措辞不能表达中国是正义方的立场,也不能表达我们的民族情感,是存在大问题的。经沟通,译者都同意修订为Anti-Japanese War2,并表示由于他们的历史书上就是这么称呼的,所以翻译时不假思索拿来就用。命名方式是非常重要的,每一个译者都必须关注,例如“钓鱼岛”汉译英的文本不能用Senkaku Islands,必须是Diaoyu Islands。大家必须关注词汇选择的“政治问题”,并注意使用新华网等官方网站英语版所使用的措辞。
  寻找语境中词汇的核心要义加以表达,关注作者的积极修辞意图,遵从英语思维方式,灵活用好常用词,这都是母语译者在词汇选择方面给我们带来的启示。在这一系列清单上要再加一条:选词要能够表达中国的态度立场。
  重要时政词语表述汉英选译
  出台稳外贸政策,货物通关时间压缩一半以上。
  We launched policies to ensure steady growth in foreign trade, and cut the time needed for customs clearance by more than half.
  新设一批跨境电商综合试验区。
  A number of new integrated pilot zones for cross-border e-commerce were established.
  粤港澳大湾区规划建设迈出实质性步伐,港珠澳大桥建成通车。
  Substantive steps were taken in the planning and building of the Guangdong-Hong Kong-Macao Greater Bay Area, and the Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macao Bridge was opened to traffic.
  加大对革命老区、民族地区、边疆地区、贫困地区改革发展支持力度。
  We expanded support for reforms and development in old revolutionary base areas, areas with large ethnic minority populations, border areas, and poor areas.
  推进西部开发、东北振兴、中部崛起、东部率先发展,出台一批改革创新举措。
  A full range of reforms and innovative measures were introduced to advance development in the western region, revitalize the northeast, energize the central region, and support the eastern region in spearheading development.
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