Jokes and Humour

来源 :中学生英语·高一版 | 被引量 : 0次 | 上传用户:lyang1990x
下载到本地 , 更方便阅读
声明 : 本文档内容版权归属内容提供方 , 如果您对本文有版权争议 , 可与客服联系进行内容授权或下架
论文部分内容阅读
  结婚付出的代价
  A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
  The father replied: I don’t know, son. I ’m still paying!
  一个小男孩问他的爸爸: 结婚要花多少钱?
  爸爸说: 我不知道,因为我仍然在付帐。
  
  重大事件
  Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
  Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
  Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in
   1812?
  Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
  老师: 1809年发生了什么重大事件?
  小威利: 亚伯拉罕·林肯诞生。
  老师: 正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢?
  小威利: 亚伯拉罕·林肯过他的三周岁生日。
  
  长寿秘诀
  A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
  “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she says. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?”
  “I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.”
  “Wow, that’s amazing,” says the woman. “How old are you?”
  “Twenty-six.”
  一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
  “我无意中发现,你是多么幸福,” 那女士说。“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”
  “我每天抽三包烟,每周喝一箱威士忌,吃高脂肪食品,而且从来不曾锻炼。”
  “哦,真神奇,”女士说。“你高寿?”
  “二十六。”
  
  答问技巧
  An Ogden, Iowa, a minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn’t constitute gambling, the minister replied, “It’s merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity.”
  Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: “Of course not. After all, I may be wrong.”
  A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?”
  The winning reply was: “The one nearest the exit.”
  衣阿华州奥格登的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时,牧师答道:“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”
  当有人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时,他答道:“当然不会。毕竟,我可能会是错的。”
  一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?”
  获奖的答案是:“最靠近门口的那一幅。”
其他文献
Most people don’t wake up in the morning, comb their hair, and walk out the front door and onto the world stage. But Britain’s Prince William does, though he’s trying his best to act like an ordinary
期刊
Ⅰ. 单词拼写  根据句意和汉语或首写字母提示,写出句中所缺单词的完全形式。  1. He looked at the envelope and_________(认出) Jenny’s handwriting immediately.  2. A_________(神秘的) light came from the deserted house.  3. He made up a story to
期刊
一、 词语例解  1. advantage  n. (1) 有利条件;优点;优势  He had the advantage of a good education.他具备受过良好教育的优势。  (2) 利益;好处  What is the advantage of using nuclear power?使用核能有何好处?  【搭配】 take advantage of利用 to one’s a
期刊
第Ⅰ卷 (三部分,共115分)  第一部分: 听力 (略)  第二部分: 英语知识运用 (共两节,满分45分)  第一节:单项选择 (共15小题;每小题1分,满分15分)  从A、B、C、D四个选项中,选出可填入空白处的最佳答案。  21. —Come in, Peter. I want to show you something.  —Oh, how nice of you! I_____you
期刊
I’ll tell you a secret to going a long way in a match. It is to rediscover some of the traditional defensive approaches of Italian football culture.我告诉你在球赛中取得成功的秘密,这就会重新发现一些传统的意大利足球文化的防守方法。    On the
期刊
THE young woman is sitting on the bench in front of a piano playing Chopin under the glare of stage lights and cameras. She’s playing what she has likely practised for hours on end. But her 24-year-ol
期刊
Suppose someone gave you a pen—a sealed, solid-colored pen.  You couldn’t see how much ink it had. It might run dry after the first few tentative words or last just long enough to create a masterpiece
期刊
1. 课本原句: Having realized that I could use a kite to attract lightning, I decided to do an experiment.  考点: 分词的完成式的用法。  解读: 1) 分词的完成式having (been) done 可在句中作时间或原因状语,表示动作发生在谓语动词所表示的动作之前,有明显的先后之分。其否定式not
期刊
Can you imagine an engineer building a bridge with no plan? Someone said, “ If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Success is not accident! It doesn’t just magically happen. You have to plan for it t
期刊
近年来情态动词must, can / could和may / might在全国各地的高考试题中频频出现。它们的用法看似简单,但在实际的用法上不同的语境又有些变化,本文就从近年来的全国各地的高考试题中选出一些例题来给予具体的解析。  1. There’s no light on—they_______ be at home. (2006全国卷Ⅰ)  A. can’t  B. mustn’t  C.
期刊