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“我今天出来了。”
茅威涛说着，向后靠在酒店房间的沙发上。此前6小时接受各路媒体采访，她一直挺着腰板，不靠椅背，端着咖啡杯，地中海蓝的指甲，像一片平静的湖水。
今年年初有一条新闻，同时刷屏了好几个领域——马云、宋卫平和茅威涛等人联手创办的新公司“百越文化创意有限公司”正式对外揭牌，茅威涛卸任浙江小百花越剧团团长，成为“百越文创”董事长。
她的这句“出来了”，简单，又意味深长，像松了一口气，也像凝着一股气。
“我是一个戏班子的班主，团长是在体制内当班主，董事长是在体制外当班主，仅此而已。”
采访前一天，除了美美地做了指甲，上午，她又去医院做康复，打了肌肉针，扎了一下针灸。“出来”这天，没有人注意到她脸部的不自然，她努力把脸部肌肉“抬起来”。“妈妈，你可以露出尴尬而不失礼貌的微笑。”出门前，女儿教了她一招。
年初，医生让她立马住院的那天，她坐在车上，突然看到杭州已經是春天，花开了，她的头转过去，眼睛却没听从神经的指挥跟过去。她被诊断为格林-巴利综合征，即“多颅神经炎”，治疗过程极其尴尬而痛苦：以各种医疗器械挠动麻痹的神经，比如用冰的棉签刺激喉部。最近，她才逐渐有了“想吐”的感觉，这意味着逐渐康复。
茅威涛感觉自己的身体像一具高负荷运转、年久失修的老爷车。过去，这具身躯马力十足，指向的是一个演员的情怀修为、一个剧团的荣耀梦想、一个剧种的辉煌复兴；如今，它以神经的麻痹、器官的疼痛、精神的极度疲惫发出尖锐抗议。
即将从艺满40年的她，和改革开放同龄。她的身上，经历各种“倒错”：她是个女人，又在台上出演男人；她是个艺术家，又有很多行政职务；她既是团长，又要在舞台上和自己的演员你侬我侬，卿卿我我。
围绕着茅威涛身上的种种复杂性，破和立，在她“走出来”的今天，或许可以说说了。
茅威涛记得很清楚，1999年7月29日，剃光头演《孔乙己》后一年，她开始担任小百花越剧团的团长，这意味着，她放弃了茅威涛工作室——这是当时中国第一个以著名戏曲表演艺术家个人名字命名的民营企业。
茅威涛不止一次地说过：如果我人生中有什么后悔的事，就是放弃工作室当团长。不然，我可能很早就摸索出一个商业模式去更好地经营越剧，经营一个真正实现自己戏剧理想的剧场。
团长一当就是18年，破了一个纪录，成为“在位”时间最久的团长。
多年以后，茅威涛看到同是坤生的裴艳玲老师说的一句话：什么是角儿，角儿就是一个人能养活一个团。
她深以为然。
“能坚持当18年团长，旁人对这份韧劲，可能有不同的看法，但是对我来说，其实很简单，那就是对越剧艺术的人文定位和发展前景，以及个人情怀，以团长组阁一支艺术理念相通的团队去推广和执行。”茅威涛说。
“为人谦和有礼，反差萌，很女人，爱憎分明，追求完美……”
茅迷组织“秀虎雅集”的负责人、85后戏迷苏津津，一口气列了“我茅”吸引她的诸多特质。多年追随，她也感受到茅威涛的复杂人格：“她有矛盾的一面，她心里很看重戏迷，但表面上又会予人距离感，比如不管去多远的地方演出，茅毛都会把粉丝送给她的鲜花全带回家。但有一次茅迷会，粉丝不按秩序涌上台拍照，影响了谢幕，茅毛当场就不高兴了，和他们合照时都还黑着脸。她说不在乎自己的创新粉丝会不会喜欢，但又非常在意他们的意见，有戏迷不接受新戏，她又会向我吐槽：想做猫咪，前提必须是‘懂得’我。”
翻开2011年8月3日钱江晚报对小百花艺术中心破土动工的报道，当时肩题写的是“两年半后建成运营”。今年，已经是第7年。明年杭州春暖花开的时候，中国越·剧场将正式开放。
她的朋友王群力说：听说过当年的困难，拆迁、经费、设计、施工乃至其他大小事情，她亲自苦口婆心，跑上跑下地解决……很多事情，惊心动魄。这等魄力，除了她，无人可以搞定。
她也曾以为只要她想做的事，一定能成。
现在的曙光路上，有一块石碑，上刻“护国仁王寺遗址”，石碑旁斜立着一种乐器：尺八。
这是中国乐器。南宋时，日本名僧心地觉心到杭州护国仁王寺习禅，在此学会了吹奏尺八，从此，尺八在日本广泛流传。而在中国，因为战乱，尺八失传。
护国仁王寺的原址，后来成了浙江省艺校，1985年，艺校重修大雄宝殿，茅威涛读书时，去食堂的路上，一定会路过，护国仁王寺堆满了她们演出的道具、乐器等等。
但是，作为尺八祖庭的杭州护国仁王禅寺，因为建设用地需要，于2003年1月拆除。茅威涛把护国仁王寺拆下来的木头、石头等建筑构件，全都堆放在小百花越剧团的基建办。她想，今后要把石头恢复起来，多多少少恢复当年的样子，在中国越·剧场后山上，做一个尺八遗址陈列馆，“可以真的把这里变成浙江传统艺术的原点，有越剧，有尺八。”
外人眼中，荣誉、美名、权力、艺术成就……所有光环环绕着茅威涛，而她为此失去的东西，所作出的牺牲，让人失语。
作家李杭育看了肖全给茅威涛拍的一张素颜照后，写了这样一段话——
在上世纪80年代，起码浙江人没有谁不知道她。我在什么会议上见过她，当然更多时候是在舞台上和电视屏幕上见过她——那可真叫俊美无比，光彩照人！三十多年过去了，而今的茅威涛年过半百，还在登台演出，容貌自然不比当年。在这幅撑膝而坐的照片上，她甚至还有些憔悴。可我觉得，这一个茅威涛更是楚楚动人，让我看到了她这一生献身戏剧的辛劳，也看到了戏剧艺术反哺给她这一生的滋养、升华、美好的一切。
Q：有没有哪件物个是您一直珍藏至今的，是否有特殊意义？
答：有很多。比如以前房子的墙上，女儿长大的身高刻度；贴在我卧室墙上的女儿写给我的字，现在邻居还替我保留着，我挺不舍的，但现在一定要学会舍。
有一冯阿姨，已经去世了，她是上海的妇产科专家，上世纪80年代去美国的大学当教授，也开私人门诊。我在桐乡越剧团的时候，她来看戏，就很喜欢我的戏，后来每年圣诞，她一定会回上海，也会抽出几天来杭州看我，有时候会随着我出去演出。她父亲和梅兰芳有私交，梅兰芳画了一幅梅花图扇面送给他，他又送给妻子作生日礼物。冯阿姨后来送给了我，还配了一封信。她说，我想了想这把扇子留给我的孩子没有任何意义，我只能留给你。
Q：在工作中，最在意的是什么？
答：最在意的是理解和信任，最不容忍的是不被理解和不被信任。
Q：除了专业工作之外，你平时最喜欢做的是什么？
答：收拾家，种花草，看书，听音乐，发呆——工作之余能做其中一件，就很幸福。
Q：你对改革开放最想说的一句话是什么？
答：感谢这个时代。
Mao Weitao： Total Dedication to Yueju Opera
By Ma Li， Huang Xiaoxing
A celebrated Yueju Opera artist born in 1962 with a career for nearly 40 years， Mao Weitao embodies perfection， innovation， ambition， dedication. She also presents some small but fascinating contradictions： she is a woman， but she appears as a man onstage； she is an artist and she is an able-minded administrator； she promotes Chinese culture， but she has a passion for coffee and we noticed her blue fingernails in the interview for this report.
Mao’s performing career on Yueju Opera stage is brilliant. She is a representative image of the opera， which originated in Zhejiang more than 100 years ago. She appeared in numerous performances staged by Xiaobaihua Yueju Opera Troupe. Each of these plays can be a chapter in a history of modern Yueju Opera. Many of her roles and performances are memorable. For example， she shaved her head for the protagonist role she performed in a Yueju Opera play in 1998. In 2016， she appeared as Coriolanus in ， a modern Yueju Opera play based on works of Shakespeare （1564-1616） and Tang Xianzu （1550-1616）.
On July 29， 1999， she assumed the directorship of Xiaobaihua Yueju Opera Troupe. The responsibilities she took meant that her private undertaking， Mao Weitao Studio， had to go. It was the first private theater undertaking named after a celebrated artist in China. Mao Weitao has said on many occasions that giving up her private undertaking and working as director of a troupe in the government system could be her biggest regret. “I could have long since figured out how to make a private Yueju Opera troupe profitable and translated my theater dream into realities，” said wistfully the artist in the interview with us.
She served as the director of Xiaobaihua for over 18 years. Early in 2018 she became the president of Baiyue， a show business that engages in theater operation， show production， international cooperation， art education， theater talent training， and project investment. At present， Baiyue has run two projects. One of them is a theater version of ， which will make its debut in London in 2019. The other is ， a musical first staged in 2017. A Chinese version will be performed. Among the co-founders are Alibaba headed by Jack Ma and Green Town headed by Song Weiping， and Xiaobaihua Yueju Opera Troupe. One of the biggest things of her career is China Yueju Opera Theater， located near where she learned the basics of Yueju Opera as a student of a performing art academy. The academy was where the Huguo Renwang Temple， a Buddhist sanctuary first built in the Southern Song Dynasty， stood for centuries. It was in this temple that a Japanese monk learned how to play ， a vertical bamboo flute， and carried the instrument and the art to Japan. The temple was dismantled in 2003， making room for a new development. Mao salvaged some building materials of the dismantled temple and these building materials will be installed as souvenirs on the site of the new theater， which will be operational in the spring of 2019.
It took her about 16 years to translate her dream theater into reality. The land was approved for the theater project nearly 16 years ago when she was pregnant. Construction started in August 2011. The theater was scheduled to be operational in 2014， but problems mushroomed. Mao solved all these problems one by one. “No one else could have solved all these problems，” commented a friend of hers.
And no one in Zhejiang has worked as a troupe director for so many years. She agrees that a Yueju Opera star can singlehandedly keep a troupe alive. She agrees that she is just such a star. She believes that Yueju Opera should position itself as a cultural undertaking and a troupe should work toward such a future. She has total dedication to Yueju Opera. She wants to see a troupe that totally embraces and performs her artistic concepts and ideals.
Baiyue is a turning point in Mao Weitao’s career. She has not indicated if her performing career is over， but her health would be a challenge if she wants to continue the acting career. She is still rehabilitating from multiple cranial neuritis. She can do more at Baiyue than performing onstage. After all， Baiyue is a new theater for her and she is full of confidence that she will be a star on the new stage.
茅威涛说着，向后靠在酒店房间的沙发上。此前6小时接受各路媒体采访，她一直挺着腰板，不靠椅背，端着咖啡杯，地中海蓝的指甲，像一片平静的湖水。
今年年初有一条新闻，同时刷屏了好几个领域——马云、宋卫平和茅威涛等人联手创办的新公司“百越文化创意有限公司”正式对外揭牌，茅威涛卸任浙江小百花越剧团团长，成为“百越文创”董事长。
她的这句“出来了”，简单，又意味深长，像松了一口气，也像凝着一股气。
“我是一个戏班子的班主，团长是在体制内当班主，董事长是在体制外当班主，仅此而已。”
采访前一天，除了美美地做了指甲，上午，她又去医院做康复，打了肌肉针，扎了一下针灸。“出来”这天，没有人注意到她脸部的不自然，她努力把脸部肌肉“抬起来”。“妈妈，你可以露出尴尬而不失礼貌的微笑。”出门前，女儿教了她一招。
年初，医生让她立马住院的那天，她坐在车上，突然看到杭州已經是春天，花开了，她的头转过去，眼睛却没听从神经的指挥跟过去。她被诊断为格林-巴利综合征，即“多颅神经炎”，治疗过程极其尴尬而痛苦：以各种医疗器械挠动麻痹的神经，比如用冰的棉签刺激喉部。最近，她才逐渐有了“想吐”的感觉，这意味着逐渐康复。
茅威涛感觉自己的身体像一具高负荷运转、年久失修的老爷车。过去，这具身躯马力十足，指向的是一个演员的情怀修为、一个剧团的荣耀梦想、一个剧种的辉煌复兴；如今，它以神经的麻痹、器官的疼痛、精神的极度疲惫发出尖锐抗议。
即将从艺满40年的她，和改革开放同龄。她的身上，经历各种“倒错”：她是个女人，又在台上出演男人；她是个艺术家，又有很多行政职务；她既是团长，又要在舞台上和自己的演员你侬我侬，卿卿我我。
围绕着茅威涛身上的种种复杂性，破和立，在她“走出来”的今天，或许可以说说了。
（一）
茅威涛记得很清楚，1999年7月29日，剃光头演《孔乙己》后一年，她开始担任小百花越剧团的团长，这意味着，她放弃了茅威涛工作室——这是当时中国第一个以著名戏曲表演艺术家个人名字命名的民营企业。
茅威涛不止一次地说过：如果我人生中有什么后悔的事，就是放弃工作室当团长。不然，我可能很早就摸索出一个商业模式去更好地经营越剧，经营一个真正实现自己戏剧理想的剧场。
团长一当就是18年，破了一个纪录，成为“在位”时间最久的团长。
多年以后，茅威涛看到同是坤生的裴艳玲老师说的一句话：什么是角儿，角儿就是一个人能养活一个团。
她深以为然。
“能坚持当18年团长，旁人对这份韧劲，可能有不同的看法，但是对我来说，其实很简单，那就是对越剧艺术的人文定位和发展前景，以及个人情怀，以团长组阁一支艺术理念相通的团队去推广和执行。”茅威涛说。
（二）
“为人谦和有礼，反差萌，很女人，爱憎分明，追求完美……”
茅迷组织“秀虎雅集”的负责人、85后戏迷苏津津，一口气列了“我茅”吸引她的诸多特质。多年追随，她也感受到茅威涛的复杂人格：“她有矛盾的一面，她心里很看重戏迷，但表面上又会予人距离感，比如不管去多远的地方演出，茅毛都会把粉丝送给她的鲜花全带回家。但有一次茅迷会，粉丝不按秩序涌上台拍照，影响了谢幕，茅毛当场就不高兴了，和他们合照时都还黑着脸。她说不在乎自己的创新粉丝会不会喜欢，但又非常在意他们的意见，有戏迷不接受新戏，她又会向我吐槽：想做猫咪，前提必须是‘懂得’我。”
翻开2011年8月3日钱江晚报对小百花艺术中心破土动工的报道，当时肩题写的是“两年半后建成运营”。今年，已经是第7年。明年杭州春暖花开的时候，中国越·剧场将正式开放。
她的朋友王群力说：听说过当年的困难，拆迁、经费、设计、施工乃至其他大小事情，她亲自苦口婆心，跑上跑下地解决……很多事情，惊心动魄。这等魄力，除了她，无人可以搞定。
她也曾以为只要她想做的事，一定能成。
现在的曙光路上，有一块石碑，上刻“护国仁王寺遗址”，石碑旁斜立着一种乐器：尺八。
这是中国乐器。南宋时，日本名僧心地觉心到杭州护国仁王寺习禅，在此学会了吹奏尺八，从此，尺八在日本广泛流传。而在中国，因为战乱，尺八失传。
护国仁王寺的原址，后来成了浙江省艺校，1985年，艺校重修大雄宝殿，茅威涛读书时，去食堂的路上，一定会路过，护国仁王寺堆满了她们演出的道具、乐器等等。
但是，作为尺八祖庭的杭州护国仁王禅寺，因为建设用地需要，于2003年1月拆除。茅威涛把护国仁王寺拆下来的木头、石头等建筑构件，全都堆放在小百花越剧团的基建办。她想，今后要把石头恢复起来，多多少少恢复当年的样子，在中国越·剧场后山上，做一个尺八遗址陈列馆，“可以真的把这里变成浙江传统艺术的原点，有越剧，有尺八。”
（三）
外人眼中，荣誉、美名、权力、艺术成就……所有光环环绕着茅威涛，而她为此失去的东西，所作出的牺牲，让人失语。
作家李杭育看了肖全给茅威涛拍的一张素颜照后，写了这样一段话——
在上世纪80年代，起码浙江人没有谁不知道她。我在什么会议上见过她，当然更多时候是在舞台上和电视屏幕上见过她——那可真叫俊美无比，光彩照人！三十多年过去了，而今的茅威涛年过半百，还在登台演出，容貌自然不比当年。在这幅撑膝而坐的照片上，她甚至还有些憔悴。可我觉得，这一个茅威涛更是楚楚动人，让我看到了她这一生献身戏剧的辛劳，也看到了戏剧艺术反哺给她这一生的滋养、升华、美好的一切。
對话
Q：有没有哪件物个是您一直珍藏至今的，是否有特殊意义？
答：有很多。比如以前房子的墙上，女儿长大的身高刻度；贴在我卧室墙上的女儿写给我的字，现在邻居还替我保留着，我挺不舍的，但现在一定要学会舍。
有一冯阿姨，已经去世了，她是上海的妇产科专家，上世纪80年代去美国的大学当教授，也开私人门诊。我在桐乡越剧团的时候，她来看戏，就很喜欢我的戏，后来每年圣诞，她一定会回上海，也会抽出几天来杭州看我，有时候会随着我出去演出。她父亲和梅兰芳有私交，梅兰芳画了一幅梅花图扇面送给他，他又送给妻子作生日礼物。冯阿姨后来送给了我，还配了一封信。她说，我想了想这把扇子留给我的孩子没有任何意义，我只能留给你。
Q：在工作中，最在意的是什么？
答：最在意的是理解和信任，最不容忍的是不被理解和不被信任。
Q：除了专业工作之外，你平时最喜欢做的是什么？
答：收拾家，种花草，看书，听音乐，发呆——工作之余能做其中一件，就很幸福。
Q：你对改革开放最想说的一句话是什么？
答：感谢这个时代。
Mao Weitao： Total Dedication to Yueju Opera
By Ma Li， Huang Xiaoxing
A celebrated Yueju Opera artist born in 1962 with a career for nearly 40 years， Mao Weitao embodies perfection， innovation， ambition， dedication. She also presents some small but fascinating contradictions： she is a woman， but she appears as a man onstage； she is an artist and she is an able-minded administrator； she promotes Chinese culture， but she has a passion for coffee and we noticed her blue fingernails in the interview for this report.
Mao’s performing career on Yueju Opera stage is brilliant. She is a representative image of the opera， which originated in Zhejiang more than 100 years ago. She appeared in numerous performances staged by Xiaobaihua Yueju Opera Troupe. Each of these plays can be a chapter in a history of modern Yueju Opera. Many of her roles and performances are memorable. For example， she shaved her head for the protagonist role she performed in a Yueju Opera play in 1998. In 2016， she appeared as Coriolanus in ， a modern Yueju Opera play based on works of Shakespeare （1564-1616） and Tang Xianzu （1550-1616）.
On July 29， 1999， she assumed the directorship of Xiaobaihua Yueju Opera Troupe. The responsibilities she took meant that her private undertaking， Mao Weitao Studio， had to go. It was the first private theater undertaking named after a celebrated artist in China. Mao Weitao has said on many occasions that giving up her private undertaking and working as director of a troupe in the government system could be her biggest regret. “I could have long since figured out how to make a private Yueju Opera troupe profitable and translated my theater dream into realities，” said wistfully the artist in the interview with us.
She served as the director of Xiaobaihua for over 18 years. Early in 2018 she became the president of Baiyue， a show business that engages in theater operation， show production， international cooperation， art education， theater talent training， and project investment. At present， Baiyue has run two projects. One of them is a theater version of ， which will make its debut in London in 2019. The other is ， a musical first staged in 2017. A Chinese version will be performed. Among the co-founders are Alibaba headed by Jack Ma and Green Town headed by Song Weiping， and Xiaobaihua Yueju Opera Troupe. One of the biggest things of her career is China Yueju Opera Theater， located near where she learned the basics of Yueju Opera as a student of a performing art academy. The academy was where the Huguo Renwang Temple， a Buddhist sanctuary first built in the Southern Song Dynasty， stood for centuries. It was in this temple that a Japanese monk learned how to play ， a vertical bamboo flute， and carried the instrument and the art to Japan. The temple was dismantled in 2003， making room for a new development. Mao salvaged some building materials of the dismantled temple and these building materials will be installed as souvenirs on the site of the new theater， which will be operational in the spring of 2019.
It took her about 16 years to translate her dream theater into reality. The land was approved for the theater project nearly 16 years ago when she was pregnant. Construction started in August 2011. The theater was scheduled to be operational in 2014， but problems mushroomed. Mao solved all these problems one by one. “No one else could have solved all these problems，” commented a friend of hers.
And no one in Zhejiang has worked as a troupe director for so many years. She agrees that a Yueju Opera star can singlehandedly keep a troupe alive. She agrees that she is just such a star. She believes that Yueju Opera should position itself as a cultural undertaking and a troupe should work toward such a future. She has total dedication to Yueju Opera. She wants to see a troupe that totally embraces and performs her artistic concepts and ideals.
Baiyue is a turning point in Mao Weitao’s career. She has not indicated if her performing career is over， but her health would be a challenge if she wants to continue the acting career. She is still rehabilitating from multiple cranial neuritis. She can do more at Baiyue than performing onstage. After all， Baiyue is a new theater for her and she is full of confidence that she will be a star on the new stage.