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  Asking for Leave
  Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”
  “We’re short-handed, Smith,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
  “Thanks, boss,” says Smith, “I knew I could count on you!”
  请假
  史密斯去前厅办公室见上司。“老板,”他说,“我们家明天要干一些打扫房子的重活儿,我太太需要我帮她打扫阁楼和车库,搬运东西。”
  “我们人手不够,史密斯。”老板答道,“我不能准你假。”
  “谢谢,老板。”史密斯说,“我知道这事儿指望你准成!”
  
  Have a Life After Death
  “Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.
  “Yes, Sir,” the new recruit replied.
  “Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”
  死而复生
  “你相信死而复生么?”老板问他的一名雇员。
  “相信,老板。”新雇员回答道。
  “噢,那就好,”老板接着说,“昨天你早退去参加你祖母的葬礼,后来她顺便进来看了你一趟。”
  
  Indian Chief’s Signal
  An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and knows that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: “Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!” The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure of its meaning, signals back, withsmoke: “OK, Chief, but why so much?”
  At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby. A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky.
  The tribe signals: “OK, OK, Chief, we just wondered, why are you so angry?”
  印第安首领的信号
  一位印第安首开着凯迪拉克牌轿车行驶在内华达州境内,车突然坏了。他检查了一下,觉得必须找个专业维修人员。但是他只有4美元,也没带信用卡。于是,他找了些木头引燃,用烟雾给他的部落发信号:“嘿,派人送500美元到这儿!”部落收到了他的信号,为了确定信息无误又给他回信:“好的,头儿,但是你为什么要这么多钱啊?”
  这时,附近正在进行原子弹地面爆炸试验,巨大的蘑菇云腾空而起。
  部落回信说:“好的,好的,头儿,我们只是不明白,你为什么这么生气?”
  
  Army Cadet
  A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.”
  The cadet replied, “No, Sarge... no Sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”
  军校学员
  一位教官刚刚训斥了一名学员,他一边走一边转身对学员说:“我猜等我死后,你会到我的坟上来跳舞。”
  学员回答:“我不会,中士……不,长官!我向自己保证过,退伍以后决不再排队!”?誙
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期刊
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