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一、高考试题
假设你是李华，正在英国牛津参加短期语言培训，计划星期天去伦敦旅游。互联网上一则广告引起了你的注意，但一些具体信息不明确（箭头所指内容）。请给该旅行社发一封电子邮件，询问有关情况。
（说明：此为全国卷II中的书面表达试题，习作全部来自高考试卷。）
注意：1． 词数100左右，信的格式已为你写好。
2． 可根据内容要点适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
3． 参考词汇：牛津—Oxford费用—fee
Dear Sir/Madame,
Yours,
Li Hua
二、考场案例
（1）考生A的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I’m a student learning English at England now. I want to pay a visit to London this Sunday and your advertisement interests me very much. However, as there are several details which are not contained in the advertisement, I want to have an ask.
First, I want to know if there will be some time for me to do some shopping during the visit. Besides, as you say the price for the visit is $45, is there a different price for students? Also, does this price contain the entrance fees and the lunch fees, or we must pay extra money? At last, I want to know the time we will return, too.
I will be pleased to receive your reply!
Yours,
Li Hua (125 words)
（２）考生B的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I would like to visit London on Sunday, and take part in your. But, I have something that I can’t know clearly enough. Please you tell me about the following things. First, is Buckingham Palace the shopping time? For I am a student studying in Oxford, I want to know whether the price contains the entrance fees and lunch. As I only have one day’s time, and I wish to know the time returning. Oh, this is all that I’m looking forward to knowing, so I hope you can return a letter as soon as possible. Thank you very much!
Yours,
Li Hua （105 words）
（3）考生C的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I’m a student who is now attending the short-time practice of languages in Oxford of England. I intend to travel to London during Sunday. I have learned your advertisement on the Internet. But I still have some questions to ask. First, what’s the shopping time during the travel? Second, is the price for students the same as others? If not, what’s the price for students? And does the price include the entrances fees and the money for lunch? Last, what time does we return?
I will appreciate it if you reply to all my question. I’m looking forward to your answers.
Yours,
Li Hua (105 words)
（4）考生D的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I am a student. I am taking parting in the short-time language club to study English in Oxford. I wanted to visit London this weekend. I noticed the ad of yours from the net. But some massages are not clearly. I feel puzzled, so please tell me more about this trip.
The ad said that we will visit some interesting places, but is there any time for shopping? And the price is a little high for me. Is there a price for students? And do the fees include the entrance fees and our lunch fee? I have know the start time but I don’t know what time to return. So, I want to know more about the train. Please give me more clearly information. I’m looking forward to your E-mail.
Best wishes!
Yours,
Li Hua (137 words)
三、名师点评
关于（1）考生A的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文完全达到了试题规定的任务，完全达到了预期的写作目的。本文覆盖全部内容要点，应用了较多的复杂语法结构和词汇，行文连贯、层次分明、表达清晰、发挥自然，语言运用能力较强。例如：短语pay a visit to，do some shopping，pay extra money，be pleased to do等使用恰当；较为复杂的结构“However, as there are several details which are not contained in the advertisement, I want to have an ask.”和“Besides, as you say the price for the visit is ￡45, is there a different price for students? Also, does this price contain the entrance fees and the lunch fees, or we must pay extra money?”等表达较为得体，无重大语法错误。
不足之处：存在些许语法错误。第一段中，“at England”中的介词应改为“in”；ask不能作名词，“have an ask”应改为“ask或know”。第二段中，“$45”应改为“￡45”，可能是平时对英镑符号（￡）见得较少所致；“or we must pay extra money?”应该为疑问句语序。
最后结论：本文得22分，属于五档（21—25分）下线。
关于（2）考生B的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文基本完成了试题规定的任务，基本达到了预期的写作目的。能够写明绝大部分要点，表达基本清楚，行文基本连贯，结构尚属紧凑，但语言基本功明显不够扎实。
不足之处：层次不够分明，个别要点表达失误，有一些语法和词汇方面的错误。第一句中的“your”后应加上“tour”；第三句中的“you”应去掉；第四句中把“英国王宫——白金汉宫（Buckingham Palace）”误认为是“shopping time”，为审题不清和缺乏常识所致；第六句中把“and”去掉，把“the time returning”改为“the return/returning time”或“the time to return”；倒数第二句中“return a letter”应改为“give (me) a reply”或“write (a letter) back to me”。
最后结论：本文得14分，属于三档（11—15分）上线。
关于（3）考生C的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文完全达到了试题规定的任务，完全达到了预期的写作目的。文章覆盖了所有要点，并且表达到位、语言地道、简明扼要，语言基本功较强。文章行文连贯、衔接自然、发挥适度。例如前三个问题“First, what’s the shopping time during the travel? Second, is the price for students the same as others? If not, what’s the price for students? And does the price include the entrances fees and the money for lunch?”表达得非常准确、简练，使用的句型和词汇也很得体。
不足之处：段落不够分明，把所问的四个问题单独写一段为好。另外，存在些许语法错误。第一段最后一句中的时态应该为一般将来时。第二段的第一句中的“question”应用复数形式。
最后结论：本文得23分，属于五档（21-25分）中线。
关于（4）考生D的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文完成了试题规定的任务，达到了预期的写作目的。本文要点齐全，覆盖所有主要内容，行文连贯，表达基本清楚，语言基本功尚可。
不足之处：时态呼应把握不准，语句间的连接成分使用有些单调，基础知识不够扎实。第一段中，club用词欠妥；“But some massages are not clearly.”一句中有两处致命错误：“massages（按摩，推拿）”应改为“messages（信息，广告词）”，此为单词混用错误；“clearly”应改为“clear”，用形容词作表语，此为词性不分错误。第二段中，“know”应改为“known”，此为笔下误；“So, I want to know more about the train.”一句不知所云，与题无关紧要；“clearly”应改为“clear”，用作形容词修饰名词。该考生在本文中两次用错“clear”一词，说明单词的词性与句子成分之间的关系掌握得不好。另外，本文正文词数过多，超过120个，按照评分标准从总分中减去2分。
最后结论：本文得16分，属于四档（16-20分）下线。
四、参考范文
内容要点：１． 开头语；
２． 是否有购物时间，学生票价；
３． 费用是否含景点门票、午餐；
４． 回牛津的时间；
Ｄｅａｒ Ｓｉｒ／Ｍａｄａｍｅ，
Ｉ’ｍ ｗｒｉｔｉｎｇ ｆｏｒ ｍｏｒｅ ｉｎｆｏｒｍａｔｉｏｎ ａｂｏｕｔ ｔｈｅ ｄａｙ ｔｏｕｒ ｔｏ Ｌｏｎｄｏｎ．
Ａｓ ａ ｓｔｕｄｅｎｔ ａｔ Ｏｘｆｏｒｄ Ｕｎｉｖｅｒｓｉｔｙ， Ｉ’ｄ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｋｎｏｗ ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅ ａｎｙ ｓｐｅｃｉａｌ ｐｒｉｃｅ ｆｏｒ ｓｔｕｄｅｎｔｓ． Ａｓ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｎｅｙ ｙｏｕ ｃｈａｒｇｅ， ｄｏｅｓ ｉｔ ｃｏｖｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｔｒａｎｃｅ ｆｅｅｓ ｆｏｒ ｖｉｓｉｔｉｎｇ ｔｈｅ ｐｌａｃｅｓ ｌｉｓｔｅｄ？ Ｗｈａｔ ａｂｏｕｔ ｌｕｎｃｈ？ Ｉｓ ｉｔ ｃｏｎｃｌｕｄｅｄ？ Ｏｒ ｄｏ Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ｔｏ ｂｒｉｎｇ ａｌｏｎｇ ｍｙ ｏｗｎ ｆｏｏｄ？
Ｈｏｗ ｌｏｎｇ ｗｉｌｌ ｔｈｅ ｔｏｕｒ ｌａｓｔ？ Ｓｉｎｃｅ Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ｔｏ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅ ｍｙ ｌｅｓｓｏｎｓ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｎｅｘｔ ｄａｙ， Ｉ’ｄ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｋｎｏｗ ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅ ｔｏ ｒｅｔｕｒｎ． Ｂｅｓｉｄｅｓ， ｉｓ ｔｈｅｒｅ ａｎｙ ｔｉｍｅ ｆｏｒ ｓｈｏｐｐｉｎｇ？ Ｉ ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｈａｖｅ ａ ｌｏｏｋ ａｔ ｔｈｅ ｂｉｇ ｓｔｏｒｅｓ ｉｎ Ｌｏｎｄｏｎ．
Ｙｏｕｒｓ，
Ｌｉ Ｈｕａ（１１２ ｗｏｒｄｓ）
五、各内容要点的不同表达
1． 开头语
I am taking part in a language class/training in Oxford.
I want to have a day tour to / to pay a visit / to have a journey to/ to take a trip to / visit London this Sunday. I have seen / read / noticed your advertisement on the Internet, but I still have some questions to ask. / I want to ask for more information about the exciting day tour. / Would you please tell me more information about the tour?
I am attracted by / interested in the information about the tour in your advertisement.
2． 是否有购物时间，学生票价
I want to know / I wonder if we will have anytime for shopping. / Is there any time for us to do some shopping? / Do we have some shopping time? / I wonder if it is possible for us to have some shopping time. / I don’t know when we are going to do some shopping.
Do you have any special price for (us) students / the students’ price? / Would you please tell me the price for the students? / I know the price is ￡45, but how much is it for the students?
3． 费用是否含景点门票、午餐
Does this price contain / cover / include the entrance fees / cost and lunch?
Do we have to pay extra money for the entrance and lunch?
I wonder if the price ￡45 already contains / includes the entrance fees and lunch.
The price in the ad is ￡45, but do we have to pay any more money for the entrance and lunch?
4． 回牛津的时间
The start time is 6:30 a.m., but when can / shall we return?
But I don’t know what time for us to return / come back to Oxford.
Finally / At last I want to know the exact time when we will / shall return to Oxford.
Would you please tell me the time to return (to Oxford)?
I’d like to know when to return.
I know the start-time is 6:30 a.m., but what is the return-time?
假设你是李华，正在英国牛津参加短期语言培训，计划星期天去伦敦旅游。互联网上一则广告引起了你的注意，但一些具体信息不明确（箭头所指内容）。请给该旅行社发一封电子邮件，询问有关情况。
（说明：此为全国卷II中的书面表达试题，习作全部来自高考试卷。）
注意：1． 词数100左右，信的格式已为你写好。
2． 可根据内容要点适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
3． 参考词汇：牛津—Oxford费用—fee
Dear Sir/Madame,
Yours,
Li Hua
二、考场案例
（1）考生A的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I’m a student learning English at England now. I want to pay a visit to London this Sunday and your advertisement interests me very much. However, as there are several details which are not contained in the advertisement, I want to have an ask.
First, I want to know if there will be some time for me to do some shopping during the visit. Besides, as you say the price for the visit is $45, is there a different price for students? Also, does this price contain the entrance fees and the lunch fees, or we must pay extra money? At last, I want to know the time we will return, too.
I will be pleased to receive your reply!
Yours,
Li Hua (125 words)
（２）考生B的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I would like to visit London on Sunday, and take part in your. But, I have something that I can’t know clearly enough. Please you tell me about the following things. First, is Buckingham Palace the shopping time? For I am a student studying in Oxford, I want to know whether the price contains the entrance fees and lunch. As I only have one day’s time, and I wish to know the time returning. Oh, this is all that I’m looking forward to knowing, so I hope you can return a letter as soon as possible. Thank you very much!
Yours,
Li Hua （105 words）
（3）考生C的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I’m a student who is now attending the short-time practice of languages in Oxford of England. I intend to travel to London during Sunday. I have learned your advertisement on the Internet. But I still have some questions to ask. First, what’s the shopping time during the travel? Second, is the price for students the same as others? If not, what’s the price for students? And does the price include the entrances fees and the money for lunch? Last, what time does we return?
I will appreciate it if you reply to all my question. I’m looking forward to your answers.
Yours,
Li Hua (105 words)
（4）考生D的答案
Dear Sir/Madame,
I am a student. I am taking parting in the short-time language club to study English in Oxford. I wanted to visit London this weekend. I noticed the ad of yours from the net. But some massages are not clearly. I feel puzzled, so please tell me more about this trip.
The ad said that we will visit some interesting places, but is there any time for shopping? And the price is a little high for me. Is there a price for students? And do the fees include the entrance fees and our lunch fee? I have know the start time but I don’t know what time to return. So, I want to know more about the train. Please give me more clearly information. I’m looking forward to your E-mail.
Best wishes!
Yours,
Li Hua (137 words)
三、名师点评
关于（1）考生A的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文完全达到了试题规定的任务，完全达到了预期的写作目的。本文覆盖全部内容要点，应用了较多的复杂语法结构和词汇，行文连贯、层次分明、表达清晰、发挥自然，语言运用能力较强。例如：短语pay a visit to，do some shopping，pay extra money，be pleased to do等使用恰当；较为复杂的结构“However, as there are several details which are not contained in the advertisement, I want to have an ask.”和“Besides, as you say the price for the visit is ￡45, is there a different price for students? Also, does this price contain the entrance fees and the lunch fees, or we must pay extra money?”等表达较为得体，无重大语法错误。
不足之处：存在些许语法错误。第一段中，“at England”中的介词应改为“in”；ask不能作名词，“have an ask”应改为“ask或know”。第二段中，“$45”应改为“￡45”，可能是平时对英镑符号（￡）见得较少所致；“or we must pay extra money?”应该为疑问句语序。
最后结论：本文得22分，属于五档（21—25分）下线。
关于（2）考生B的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文基本完成了试题规定的任务，基本达到了预期的写作目的。能够写明绝大部分要点，表达基本清楚，行文基本连贯，结构尚属紧凑，但语言基本功明显不够扎实。
不足之处：层次不够分明，个别要点表达失误，有一些语法和词汇方面的错误。第一句中的“your”后应加上“tour”；第三句中的“you”应去掉；第四句中把“英国王宫——白金汉宫（Buckingham Palace）”误认为是“shopping time”，为审题不清和缺乏常识所致；第六句中把“and”去掉，把“the time returning”改为“the return/returning time”或“the time to return”；倒数第二句中“return a letter”应改为“give (me) a reply”或“write (a letter) back to me”。
最后结论：本文得14分，属于三档（11—15分）上线。
关于（3）考生C的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文完全达到了试题规定的任务，完全达到了预期的写作目的。文章覆盖了所有要点，并且表达到位、语言地道、简明扼要，语言基本功较强。文章行文连贯、衔接自然、发挥适度。例如前三个问题“First, what’s the shopping time during the travel? Second, is the price for students the same as others? If not, what’s the price for students? And does the price include the entrances fees and the money for lunch?”表达得非常准确、简练，使用的句型和词汇也很得体。
不足之处：段落不够分明，把所问的四个问题单独写一段为好。另外，存在些许语法错误。第一段最后一句中的时态应该为一般将来时。第二段的第一句中的“question”应用复数形式。
最后结论：本文得23分，属于五档（21-25分）中线。
关于（4）考生D的答案的评价与得分：
优点：本文完成了试题规定的任务，达到了预期的写作目的。本文要点齐全，覆盖所有主要内容，行文连贯，表达基本清楚，语言基本功尚可。
不足之处：时态呼应把握不准，语句间的连接成分使用有些单调，基础知识不够扎实。第一段中，club用词欠妥；“But some massages are not clearly.”一句中有两处致命错误：“massages（按摩，推拿）”应改为“messages（信息，广告词）”，此为单词混用错误；“clearly”应改为“clear”，用形容词作表语，此为词性不分错误。第二段中，“know”应改为“known”，此为笔下误；“So, I want to know more about the train.”一句不知所云，与题无关紧要；“clearly”应改为“clear”，用作形容词修饰名词。该考生在本文中两次用错“clear”一词，说明单词的词性与句子成分之间的关系掌握得不好。另外，本文正文词数过多，超过120个，按照评分标准从总分中减去2分。
最后结论：本文得16分，属于四档（16-20分）下线。
四、参考范文
内容要点：１． 开头语；
２． 是否有购物时间，学生票价；
３． 费用是否含景点门票、午餐；
４． 回牛津的时间；
Ｄｅａｒ Ｓｉｒ／Ｍａｄａｍｅ，
Ｉ’ｍ ｗｒｉｔｉｎｇ ｆｏｒ ｍｏｒｅ ｉｎｆｏｒｍａｔｉｏｎ ａｂｏｕｔ ｔｈｅ ｄａｙ ｔｏｕｒ ｔｏ Ｌｏｎｄｏｎ．
Ａｓ ａ ｓｔｕｄｅｎｔ ａｔ Ｏｘｆｏｒｄ Ｕｎｉｖｅｒｓｉｔｙ， Ｉ’ｄ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｋｎｏｗ ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅ ａｎｙ ｓｐｅｃｉａｌ ｐｒｉｃｅ ｆｏｒ ｓｔｕｄｅｎｔｓ． Ａｓ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｎｅｙ ｙｏｕ ｃｈａｒｇｅ， ｄｏｅｓ ｉｔ ｃｏｖｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｔｒａｎｃｅ ｆｅｅｓ ｆｏｒ ｖｉｓｉｔｉｎｇ ｔｈｅ ｐｌａｃｅｓ ｌｉｓｔｅｄ？ Ｗｈａｔ ａｂｏｕｔ ｌｕｎｃｈ？ Ｉｓ ｉｔ ｃｏｎｃｌｕｄｅｄ？ Ｏｒ ｄｏ Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ｔｏ ｂｒｉｎｇ ａｌｏｎｇ ｍｙ ｏｗｎ ｆｏｏｄ？
Ｈｏｗ ｌｏｎｇ ｗｉｌｌ ｔｈｅ ｔｏｕｒ ｌａｓｔ？ Ｓｉｎｃｅ Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ｔｏ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅ ｍｙ ｌｅｓｓｏｎｓ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｎｅｘｔ ｄａｙ， Ｉ’ｄ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｋｎｏｗ ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅ ｔｏ ｒｅｔｕｒｎ． Ｂｅｓｉｄｅｓ， ｉｓ ｔｈｅｒｅ ａｎｙ ｔｉｍｅ ｆｏｒ ｓｈｏｐｐｉｎｇ？ Ｉ ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｈａｖｅ ａ ｌｏｏｋ ａｔ ｔｈｅ ｂｉｇ ｓｔｏｒｅｓ ｉｎ Ｌｏｎｄｏｎ．
Ｙｏｕｒｓ，
Ｌｉ Ｈｕａ（１１２ ｗｏｒｄｓ）
五、各内容要点的不同表达
1． 开头语
I am taking part in a language class/training in Oxford.
I want to have a day tour to / to pay a visit / to have a journey to/ to take a trip to / visit London this Sunday. I have seen / read / noticed your advertisement on the Internet, but I still have some questions to ask. / I want to ask for more information about the exciting day tour. / Would you please tell me more information about the tour?
I am attracted by / interested in the information about the tour in your advertisement.
2． 是否有购物时间，学生票价
I want to know / I wonder if we will have anytime for shopping. / Is there any time for us to do some shopping? / Do we have some shopping time? / I wonder if it is possible for us to have some shopping time. / I don’t know when we are going to do some shopping.
Do you have any special price for (us) students / the students’ price? / Would you please tell me the price for the students? / I know the price is ￡45, but how much is it for the students?
3． 费用是否含景点门票、午餐
Does this price contain / cover / include the entrance fees / cost and lunch?
Do we have to pay extra money for the entrance and lunch?
I wonder if the price ￡45 already contains / includes the entrance fees and lunch.
The price in the ad is ￡45, but do we have to pay any more money for the entrance and lunch?
4． 回牛津的时间
The start time is 6:30 a.m., but when can / shall we return?
But I don’t know what time for us to return / come back to Oxford.
Finally / At last I want to know the exact time when we will / shall return to Oxford.
Would you please tell me the time to return (to Oxford)?
I’d like to know when to return.
I know the start-time is 6:30 a.m., but what is the return-time?