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Last summer holiday, I paid a visit for① my friend who lived near the Songjin River. When walking across a bridge, I saw a group of students sitting by the river and drawing pictures. The river was clean with small flowers and grass on all② sides. The air was fresh and many people took walks, talking happily under the trees.
But it used to be a black river and there was a lot of rubbish floating on the water, which gave off a terrible smell. By the end of 2010, the river had been clean and there had been a lot of living things in it. But with the development of industry, the river became dirty. At that time, people there wished the river could be clean again.
Fortunately, in the past two years, the government has paid much attention to the project of cleaning the river and spent a lot of money in③ it. Through painstaking effort, the river is now clean again. How nice the clean river is!
We’ll try our best to keep it cleaning④ for ever. We hope that everyone will protect water and keep water clean because we only have one earth.
山东梁山扬营中学九年级 李海
点评
1. 优点:
文章用了前后对比的手段强调了河水由脏变清的过程,结尾处得出结论:我们要珍惜保护水资源,保护我们居住的环境。文章简洁明了,層次清楚。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①for改为to。pay a visit to...意思是“访问……;拜访……”。
②all改为both。all指三者,both指两者。
③in改为on。spend...on...意思是“在……方面花费……”。
④cleaning改为clean。keep sth. adj.意思是“保持……”。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得12分。
But it used to be a black river and there was a lot of rubbish floating on the water, which gave off a terrible smell. By the end of 2010, the river had been clean and there had been a lot of living things in it. But with the development of industry, the river became dirty. At that time, people there wished the river could be clean again.
Fortunately, in the past two years, the government has paid much attention to the project of cleaning the river and spent a lot of money in③ it. Through painstaking effort, the river is now clean again. How nice the clean river is!
We’ll try our best to keep it cleaning④ for ever. We hope that everyone will protect water and keep water clean because we only have one earth.
山东梁山扬营中学九年级 李海
点评
1. 优点:
文章用了前后对比的手段强调了河水由脏变清的过程,结尾处得出结论:我们要珍惜保护水资源,保护我们居住的环境。文章简洁明了,層次清楚。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①for改为to。pay a visit to...意思是“访问……;拜访……”。
②all改为both。all指三者,both指两者。
③in改为on。spend...on...意思是“在……方面花费……”。
④cleaning改为clean。keep sth. adj.意思是“保持……”。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得12分。