不幸

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  弗兰茨·卡夫卡((Franz Kafka,1883—1924),20世纪德文小说家,生于布拉格的一个犹太人家庭,曾入布拉格大学学习文学和法律,1904年开始写作,主要作品为4部短篇小说集和3部长篇小说。
  卡夫卡是欧洲著名的表现主义作家,但其境遇就像梵高一样,生前默默无闻,生活痛苦孤独,作品大多未被发表,死后好友违背他要求烧毁所有书稿的遗言,替他整理遗稿出版,并替他立传。随着时间的流逝,他的价值才逐渐为人们所认识,作品引起了世界的震动。卡夫卡的作品大都用变形荒诞的形象和象征直觉的手法,表现被充满敌意的社会环境所包围的孤立、绝望的个人。文笔明净而想像奇诡,常采用寓言体,背后的寓意言人人殊,暂无(或永无)定论,令20世纪各个写作流派纷纷追认其为先驱。
  在《不幸》这篇短篇小说中,作者描述一个如同幽闭恐怖症患者般的孤独者,他有时注视窗外,有时心血来潮到街上散步,又总会遇到令人不满的事。这一次,他遇到了“一个小鬼”,后者以一种突然的、戏剧性的方式闯进房间,于是两人展开了一段离奇的对话。这篇小说一方面讲述了不幸的人要求结交可能的朋友,另一方面则是对模糊的不安和恐惧的发泄。对社会的陌生感、孤独感与恐惧感,是卡夫卡创作的永恒主题。美国诗人奥登曾说:“卡夫卡对我们至关重要,因为他的困境就是现代人的困境。”不知从这个故事中,读者们是否也能看到自己心中那个孤独与恐惧的影子?
  When it was becoming unbearable—once toward evening in November—and I ran along the narrow strip of carpet in my room as on a racetrack, shrank from the sight of the litup street, then turning to the interior of the room found a new goal in the depths of the looking glass and screamed aloud, to hear only my own scream which met no answer nor anything that could draw its force away, so that it rose up without check and could not stop even when it ceased being audible, the door in the wall opened toward me, how swiftly, because swiftness was needed and even the cart horses down below on the paving stones were rising in the air like horses driven wild in a battle, their throats bare to the enemy.
  Like a small ghost a child blew in from the 1)pitch-dark corridor, where the lamp was not yet lit, and stood a-tiptoe on a floor board that quivered 2)imperceptibly. At once dazzled by the twilight in my room she made to cover her face quickly with her hands, but contented herself unexpectedly with a glance at the window, where the mounting vapor of the street lighting had at last settled under its cover of darkness behind the crossbars. With her right elbow she supported herself against the wall in the open doorway and let the 3)draught from outside play along her ankles, her throat, and her 4)temples.
  I gave her a brief glance, then said “Good day,” and took my jacket from the hood of the stove, since I didn’t want to stand there halfundressed. For a little while I let my mouth hang open, so that my agitation could find a way out. I had a bad taste in my mouth, my eyelashes were fluttering on my cheeks. In short this visit, though I had expected it, was the one thing needful.


  The child was still standing by the wall on the same spot, she had pressed her right hand against the plaster and was quite taken up with finding,her cheeks all pink, that the whitewashed walls had a rough surface and 5)chafed her finger tips. I said: “Are you really looking for me? Isn’t there some mistake? Nothing easier than to make a mistake in this big building. I’m called So-and-so and I live on the third floor. Am I the person you want to find?”   “Hush, hush,” said the child over her shoulder, “it’s all right.”
  “Then come farther into the room, I’d like to shut the door.”
  “I’ve shut it this very minute. Don’t bother. Just be easy in your mind.”
  “It’s no bother. But there’s a lot of people living on this corridor, and I know them all, of course; most of them are coming back from work now; if they hear someone talking in a room, they simply think they have a right to open the door and see what’s happening. They’re just like that. They’ve turned their backs on their daily work and in their 6)provisionally free evenings they’re not going to be dictated to by anyone. Besides, you know that as well as I do. Let me shut the door.”
  “Why, what’s the matter with you? I don’t mind if the whole house comes in. Anyhow, as I told you, I’ve already shut the door, do you think you’re the only person who can shut doors? I’ve even turned the key in the lock.”
  “That’s all right then. I couldn’t ask for more. You didn’t need to turn the key, either. And now that you are here, make yourself comfortable. You are my guest. You can trust me entirely. Just make yourself at home and don’t be afraid. I won’t compel you either to stay or to go away. Do I have to tell you that? Do you know me so little?”
  “No. You really didn’t need to tell me that. What’s more, you shouldn’t have told me. I’m just a child; why stand on so much ceremony with me?”
  “It’s not so bad as that. A child, of course. But not so very small. You’re quite big. If you were a young lady, you wouldn’t dare to lock yourself so simply in a room with me.”
  “We needn’t worry about that. I just want to say: my knowing you so well isn’t much protection to me, it only relieves you of the effort of keeping up pretenses before me. And yet you’re paying me a compliment. Stop it, I beg you, do stop it. Anyhow, I don’t know you everywhere and all the time, least of all in this darkness. It would be much better if you were to light up. No, perhaps not. 7)At any rate I’ll keep it in mind that you have been threatening me.”
  “What? Am I supposed to have threatened you? But, look here. I’m so pleased that you’ve come at last. I say “at last” because it’s already rather late. I can’t understand why you’ve come so late. But it’s possible that in the joy of seeing you I have been speaking at random and you took up my words in the wrong sense. I’ll admit ten times over that I said something of the kind, I’ve made all kinds of threats, anything you like. Only no quarreling, for Heaven’s sake! But how could you think of such a thing? How could you hurt me so? Why do you insist on spoiling this brief moment of your presence here? A stranger would be more 8)obliging than you are.”


  “That I can well believe; that’s no great discovery. No stranger could come any nearer to you than I am already by nature. You know that,too, so why all this 9)pathos? If you’re only wanting to stage a comedy I’ll go away immediately.”
  “What? You have the 10)impudence to tell me that? You make a little too bold. After all, it’s my room you’re in. It’s my wall you’re rubbing your fingers on like mad. My room, my wall! And besides, what you are saying is ridiculous as well as impudent. You say your nature forces you to speak to me like that. Is that so? Your nature forces you? That’s kind of your nature. Your nature is mine, and if I feel friendly to you by nature, then you mustn’t be anything else.”
  “Is that friendly?”
  “I’m speaking of earlier on.”
  “Do you know how I’ll be later on?”
  “I don’t know anything.”
  And I went to the bed table and lit the candle on it. At that time I had neither gas nor electric light in my room. Then I sat for a while at the table till I got tired of it, put on my greatcoat, took my hat from the sofa, and blew out the candle. As I went out I tripped over the leg of a chair.
  On the stairs I met one of the tenants from my floor.
  “Going out again already, you 11)rascal?” he asked, pausing with his legs firmly straddled over two steps.
  “What can I do?” I said, “I’ve just had a ghost in my room.”
  “You say that exactly as if you had just found a hair in your soup.”
  “You’re making a joke of it. But let me tell you, a ghost is a ghost.”
  “How true. But what if one doesn’t believe in ghosts at all?”
  “Well, do you think I believe in ghosts? But how can my not believing help me?”
  “Quite simply. You don’t need to feel afraid if a ghost actually turns up.”
  “Oh, that’s only a secondary fear. The real fear is a fear of what caused the 12)apparition. And that fear doesn’t go away. I have it fairly powerfully inside me now.” Out of sheer nervousness I began to hunt through all my pockets.


  “But since you weren’t afraid of the ghost itself, you could easily have asked it how it came to be there.”
  “Obviously you’ve never spoken to a ghost. One never gets straight information from them. It’s just a hither and thither. These ghosts seem to be more 13)dubious about their existence than we are, and no wonder, considering how frail they are.”   “But I’ve heard that one can fatten them up.”
  “How well informed you are. It’s quite true. But is anyone likely to do it?”
  “Why not? If it were a 14)feminine ghost, for instance,” said he, swinging onto the top step.
  “Aha,” said I, “but even then it’s not worth while.”
  I thought of something else. My neighbor was already so far up that in order to see me he had to bend over the well of the staircase.“All the same,” I called up, “if you steal my ghost from me all is over between us, forever.”
  “Oh, I was only joking,” he said and drew his head back.
  “That’s all right,” said I, and now I really could have gone quietly for a walk. But because I felt so 15)forlorn I preferred to go upstairs again and so went to bed.


  当天气逐渐变得不可忍受——一旦到了十一月的晚上——我像进入跑道一样,跑过我房间狭长的地毯,视线从灯火通明的街道转回房内,在镜子深处发现新目标,然后大声尖叫,只听到自己的叫喊,没人回答,也没什么东西可以将其驱走。叫喊不住响起,停不下来,即便声音不再听见。墙上的门向着我打开了,开得如此匆忙,因为匆忙也是必要的,连楼下石板路面上拉车的马也立了起来,犹如沙场上发恶的战马袒露出喉咙面对敌人。
  像是一个小鬼,一个小孩从尚未点灯漆黑一片的走廊闯了进来,用脚尖站在摇晃不太明显的楼板上。我房间内的微光顿时让她觉得刺眼,她用手迅速地将脸捂住,目光扫向窗户后突然又自在起来了,窗棂外街灯上面的雾气最终在黑暗的笼罩下稳定下来。敞开的房门前,她用右肘顶着墙壁支撑着自己,并且让过堂风轻拂着她的关节、脖子和鬓角。
  我匆匆看了她一眼,然后说:“你好”,并从炉罩上取下我的外套,因为我不愿意半裸着站在那儿。有一小会我张着嘴,以便释放出我的焦虑,我的嘴里有一种古怪的味道,我的眼睫毛抖动着。总之,她的到来是逃不掉的,我也早知道是这样。
  小孩还是靠墙站在原来的地方。她用右手压在泥灰上,忘情地找着什么,她两颊通红,粉白的墙上凹凸不平,磨破了她的指尖。我说:“你真的是要找我吗?没有弄错吗?在这么大的楼房里弄错再容易不过了!我叫某某,住三楼,我就是你要找的人吗?”
  “别作声”小孩扭头说道,“没事。”
  “那你进到房里来,我要关门。”
  “我这就把门关好了,不用你说,你就省点心吧!”
  “这不费心。但是在这个楼道里住着很多人,当然都是我的熟人,他们中大部分人正下班回来,如果他们听到房间里有人说话,那他们就会觉得可以打开门看看发生什么事。他们就是那样的,放下了日常的工作,暂时享受无拘无束的夜晚,决意不听什么人发号施令了。再说,我知道的,你也知道。还是让我把门关上吧。”
  “啊,你到底有什么毛病?就算整栋房子的人进来了我也无所谓。总之,再说一次,我已经把门关好了,你以为只有你能关门吗?我甚至都用钥匙把门锁上了。”
  “那就好,那就再好不过了。你也无需用钥匙把门锁上。既然你在这儿,就别客气。你就是我的客人。你可以完全相信我。就像呆在自己家里一样,不要害怕。我既不强求你留下来,也不会赶你走。我得先讲清楚吗?你很不了解我吧?”
  “不,你真不必讲这些。还有,你真不应该讲这些。我只是一个小孩,干嘛讲那么多客套话呢?”
  “没有那么糟。当然,你是个小孩,但也不太小了。个头挺大的。你要是个少女,你就不敢这么轻易将自己和我锁在一个房间里了。”
  “这一点倒不必担心。我只想说,我了解你,这对我没什么好处,倒是方便你不用在我面前装模作样罢了。你还来恭维我这一套。别说了,我求你,别说了。反正,我也不是何时何处都对你了如指掌,尤其在这么一片漆黑中。要是你点灯的话,就好多了。不,还是别点了。不管怎样,我会记住,你一直在威胁我。”
  “什么?我威胁过你?但是,听着。我很高兴你最终还是来了。我说‘最终’,是说现在已经很晚了。我真不理解,为什么你这么晚才来。有可能,因为看见你太高兴,我胡说了一些什么,而你又误会了我的意思。我可以承认十次,我说过那样的话,做过各种威胁,你喜欢怎么说就怎么说。只要不吵架,我的天哪!但你怎么会这样想的呢?你怎么能这样伤害我的感情呢?你就呆在这儿短短一刻,为什么要执意破坏气氛呢?任何陌生人都会比你和善。”
  “我充分相信;那并不是什么伟大发现。已经没有陌生人会出于天性比我走得离你更近了。这你也知道,为什么要忧郁呢?要是你只是想演一场喜剧,我立刻就走。”
  “什么?你也敢跟我说这些吗?你也有点过于大胆了。毕竟,你走进的是我的房间。你用手指发疯似地搓揉的是我的墙。我的房间,我的墙啊!此外,你说的不仅荒谬,而且无礼。你说,你的天性使你不得不以这种方式和我说话。真的吗?你的天性强迫你吗?这是你的某种天性。你的天性就是我的,要是我出于天性对你友好,你就不能不友好。”
  “那就是友好吗?”
  “我是讲之前。”
  “你知道我之后会怎么样吗?”
  “我不知道。”
  我走向床桌,把蜡烛点燃。当时我房间里既无煤气灯也无电灯,然后我在桌子旁边坐了一会儿,直到我有一点累,接着我穿上大衣,从长沙发上取了帽子,把蜡烛吹灭。在出去时,我却被沙发腿绊倒了。
  在楼梯上我遇到了同一层楼上的房客。
  “又要出去吗,混球?”他问道,停了下来,两条腿牢牢地跨在两个梯级上。
  “我能干什么呢?”我说,“刚才我房间里有一只鬼。”
  “你说得就像是刚才发现汤里有根头发似的。”
  “你倒是开玩笑吧,但我跟你说,鬼就是鬼。”
  “一点不错,可要是人家根本不相信有鬼呢?”
  “嗯,那你认为我信有鬼吗?可这种不迷信怎么能帮到我呢?”
  “很简单,要是鬼上门了,你不用害怕。”
  “对,但这是一种次要的恐惧。真正的恐惧是对鬼怪出现的原因的恐惧。那种恐惧不会消失。现在让我最害怕就是这一种。” 完全出于精神不安,我翻弄着衣服的每一个口袋。
  “既然你不害怕鬼本身,你就可以安心地问它怎么会出现在那里。”
  “显然你从未和鬼谈过话,从他们那里你永远也得不到一个明确的答案。这是一种永无休止的徒劳。这些鬼似乎比我们更加怀疑自己的存在,想想他们那么脆弱,就不足为怪了。”
  “我听说过,人们可以供养它。”
  “说得倒好,是可以供养,但有人真想这么做么?”
  “何不呢?例如它是个女鬼的话。”他说着摇摇摆摆走上高处的台阶。
  “原来这样,”我说,“不过,即使那样也不值得。”
  我想到其他事情。我的邻居已经上到很高的台阶了,为了看到我,他不得不在楼梯井上方低头向下望。“尽管如此,”我叫喊着,“如果你把我上面的鬼带走了,那我们就绝交了,永远绝交。”
  “噢,我只是开了一个玩笑而已,”他说,将头回过来。
  “那就好,”我说。如今我本来真可以心安理得地去散个步的。但我感到孤单,又宁愿回楼上睡觉去了。
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