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It’s 2 a.m. and I’m wide awake. One’s sense of time lapses in this 1）subterranean world of 2）optics laboratories in the basement of the University of Toronto’s physics building.
There’s a 20-second rhythm to this experiment， a carefully controlled sequence of 3）shutters opening and closing for laser beams， of mechanical switches sending 4）electrical currents to 5）magnetic field coils， of green waveforms appearing on the 6）oscilloscope screen as 7）radio frequency fields manipulate.
Many people have worked to fill this room with the machines necessary to make these 2，000 atoms of 8）rubidium cold enough to enter into the 9）quantum mechanical world. Once there， these atoms stop behaving as individuals and start acting together， as if in a community， in a new phase of matter we call a 10）Bose-Einstein condensate.
Four hours ago， I saw a hint that this behaviour continued even as I split the cloud in two pieces， and that’s neat. It means the quantum mechanics I teach to undergraduates really works. And I want to see more.
I often wonder how I came to be here. It wasn’t 11）the straight and narrow path that may seem obvious to anyone who knows my past. I was probably the best student in my kindergarten class. I graduated at the top of my junior high class， and again in high school. School was what I was good at， and math and science were what I loved most. My father’s influence， and the practicality of a real job， led me into engineering as an undergraduate， where I continued to be better at writing exams than my colleagues. I graduated at the top of my class at university， too.
When I finished my undergraduate studies， I froze. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I’d done exactly everything I’d ever hoped for， which was going to university. Two choices were before me： I could continue studying at the graduate level or I could start teaching others about the things I found most interesting， probably at the high-school level.
The first， I knew， would satisfy my hunger for learning， though would leave me feeling like my time was spent in selfish pursuit of some small piece of knowledge that had little bearing on the quality of anyone’s life. The second， I knew， would be rewarding and would allow me to be a role model， but I feared I would be wasting some talent I had been given. This conflict， this decision， 12）paralyzed me， and in the end I decided to do nothing. I hadn’t done nothing in such a long time and a whole year of it was what I needed.
Nothing wasn’t quite nothing. I spent a year volunteering with elementary-school students in the mornings and homeless people in the winter evenings. I also worked part-time for a few months with an organization devoted to the promotion of women in science and engineering.
The chair of this organization was an amazing woman， a professor near retirement who devoted much of her time to the organization and the promotion of science to children， while maintaining an outstanding reputation as a scientist in her field. Though I didn’t realize it at the time， I think it was seeing this woman pursuing what she loved， while still sharing her passion and encouraging others， that keeps me in the lab at 2 a.m. on a Thursday.
The decision was one of those funny ones. I was sitting in my living room one cold January night during my year of nothingness and I just knew. I knew I wanted to go to grad school. My choice was as clear that day as it could have been， and it never wavered after that moment. I sent in my applications to two Canadian universities， I chose one and， five years later， I have a master’s degree and am working on my 13）PhD.
The question of whether what I’m doing is useful still pokes its head out every once in a while. But it doesn’t bother me like it once did. I’ve realized， as my studies delve deeper and deeper， that these things are worth knowing， even if I’m the only one that ever knows them.
Physics is worth knowing because it is beautiful. It is the hidden secret of the scientist. We may claim to be researching some topic or other because it is “useful to society” or it will revolutionize some technology but， more often than not， we are simply fascinated by some small detail about how the world works and we can’t stop thinking about it until we understand it better. We are constantly astounded by the way a few basic principles work together to explain so many different things， and sit in wonder and awe at the beauty of the world. Like an artist， I want to share this beauty with others. I want them to know what it is to see through my eyes.
And so， now that it’s almost 3 a.m.， the question of what I’m doing here isn’t so curious. My experiment continues to click away in its 20-second rhythm， as my computers collect data revealing the behaviour of a tiny cloud of atoms， behaviour that will help me understand the nature of my world. And if it doesn’t quite work， my colleagues will come in and we’ll try again tomorrow. 现在是凌晨两点，而我却很清醒。在多伦多大学物理楼地库光学实验室这个地下工作环境里，人的时间感会失效。
这项实验的时间节奏是20秒钟，一系列精密操控的实验包括：对应激光束的快门开合、机械开关对磁场线圈发送的电流、无线电射频场起作用时示波屏上显示的绿色波形。
很多人的努力之下，这个房间才得以布满各种必需的装置，让这2000个铷元素原子达到足够的冷却程度进入量子力学世界。一旦达到那个温度，这些原子便停止了各自的个体行为，开始共同行动，就像在一个集体里似的，进入一种新的物质状态，我们称之为“玻色—爱因斯坦凝聚态”。
四个小时前，我看到即使在我把该冷原子团切割成两份后这种行为仍然持续的迹象，而且很整齐。这意味着我向本科生们讲授的量子力学的确起作用。于是我想再进一步探究。
我经常好奇自己是如何走到这一步的。事实并不像任何了解我过去的人从表面上看到的那么顺当通畅。我很可能曾是幼儿园班上最优秀的孩子。我以班上最优的成绩从初中毕业，还有之后的高中。读书是我擅长的事，而数学和科学是我最爱的科目。由于父亲的影响，出于要找一份真正工作的实际考虑，我本科选了工程学专业，当时我的书面考试一直优于其他同学。再一次，我以全班最好的成绩从本科毕业。
当我大学本科毕业后，我愣住了。我不知道接下来的人生要怎么走。我完成了自己一直期望的所有事情，那就是上大学。我面前出现了两个选择：我可以继续攻读研究生，又或者是开始教学工作，将我认为最有意思的东西教给大概是高中水平的人。
第一个选择，我知道，能够满足我的求知欲，但会给我留下一种感觉，觉得这是把时间花在满足个人对知识的一些高尖枝节的自私追求上，而对他人的生活质量关联甚少。第二个选择，我知道，将会给我带来报酬，并使我成为行为榜样，但我害怕那会浪费了我的某些天赋。这种矛盾，这个决定，使我麻痹丧志，结果最后我决定什么都不做。我在很长一段时间里无所作为，而当中有一整年的放空正是我所需要的。
事实上也不是什么都没做。我花了一年的时间做义工，早上和小学生在一起，冬夜则和无家可归者待在一起。我还在一家致力于推动妇女参与科学和工程学事业的组织做了几个月的兼职。
该组织的主席是一位让人惊叹的女士：她是一位快要退休的教授，一直把大量的时间奉献到该组织以及推动儿童参与科学的事业中，同时还一直是她自己领域里的一位杰出科学家。虽然当时我并未意识到，但我想正是因为看到这位女士追求自己热爱的事业，并将她的热情与人分享，鼓舞他人，才使得我能够在某个星期四在实验室里待至凌晨两点。
这个决定是我那些奇怪决定中的一个。那是个寒冷的一月夜晚，在我无所事事的那一年里，我当时坐在客厅里，然后突然灵光一闪。我知道我想读研究生。那天做的这个决定非常明确，并从此毫无动摇过。我向两所加拿大大学递交了申请，并选择了其中一所，五年后，我获得了硕士学位，如今正在攻读博士学位。
那个关于我目前所做的事是否具有实际意义的问题依然会时不时地从我的脑海里冒冒头。但它从来都无法像当初那样干扰到我。我已深知，当我的钻研工作走得越深入，这些知识被了解的价值就会更加明确，即使我是唯一认识这些价值的人。
物理学是值得去了解的，因为那是如此之美。它是科学家隐藏的秘密。我们可能会声称对某些课题进行研究是因为它是“对社会有益的”，又或是它将带来某种技术的变革，但其实很多时候都不是这样的，我们只不过是对一些关于世界运行的微小细节着迷不已，无法停止对其思考，直到我们能更好地理解它们为止。一些基本的原理相互作用便可解释那么多不同的事物，我们时常为之感到震惊，并对这个世界的美感到惊叹又敬畏。就如艺术家那样，我想与他人分享这种美。我希望人们能通过我的双眼了解其美态。
所以，现在快凌晨三点了，我在这里做什么，这已经不是什么难解疑团了。我的实验还在按着它那20秒钟的循环规律进行着，同时我的电脑收集着揭示这些细微冷原子团的行为数据，这些行为将有助于我更好地理解我的世界的本质。如果行不通的话，我的同事会加入进来，然后明天我们会再继续尝试。
There’s a 20-second rhythm to this experiment， a carefully controlled sequence of 3）shutters opening and closing for laser beams， of mechanical switches sending 4）electrical currents to 5）magnetic field coils， of green waveforms appearing on the 6）oscilloscope screen as 7）radio frequency fields manipulate.
Many people have worked to fill this room with the machines necessary to make these 2，000 atoms of 8）rubidium cold enough to enter into the 9）quantum mechanical world. Once there， these atoms stop behaving as individuals and start acting together， as if in a community， in a new phase of matter we call a 10）Bose-Einstein condensate.
Four hours ago， I saw a hint that this behaviour continued even as I split the cloud in two pieces， and that’s neat. It means the quantum mechanics I teach to undergraduates really works. And I want to see more.
I often wonder how I came to be here. It wasn’t 11）the straight and narrow path that may seem obvious to anyone who knows my past. I was probably the best student in my kindergarten class. I graduated at the top of my junior high class， and again in high school. School was what I was good at， and math and science were what I loved most. My father’s influence， and the practicality of a real job， led me into engineering as an undergraduate， where I continued to be better at writing exams than my colleagues. I graduated at the top of my class at university， too.
When I finished my undergraduate studies， I froze. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I’d done exactly everything I’d ever hoped for， which was going to university. Two choices were before me： I could continue studying at the graduate level or I could start teaching others about the things I found most interesting， probably at the high-school level.
The first， I knew， would satisfy my hunger for learning， though would leave me feeling like my time was spent in selfish pursuit of some small piece of knowledge that had little bearing on the quality of anyone’s life. The second， I knew， would be rewarding and would allow me to be a role model， but I feared I would be wasting some talent I had been given. This conflict， this decision， 12）paralyzed me， and in the end I decided to do nothing. I hadn’t done nothing in such a long time and a whole year of it was what I needed.
Nothing wasn’t quite nothing. I spent a year volunteering with elementary-school students in the mornings and homeless people in the winter evenings. I also worked part-time for a few months with an organization devoted to the promotion of women in science and engineering.
The chair of this organization was an amazing woman， a professor near retirement who devoted much of her time to the organization and the promotion of science to children， while maintaining an outstanding reputation as a scientist in her field. Though I didn’t realize it at the time， I think it was seeing this woman pursuing what she loved， while still sharing her passion and encouraging others， that keeps me in the lab at 2 a.m. on a Thursday.
The decision was one of those funny ones. I was sitting in my living room one cold January night during my year of nothingness and I just knew. I knew I wanted to go to grad school. My choice was as clear that day as it could have been， and it never wavered after that moment. I sent in my applications to two Canadian universities， I chose one and， five years later， I have a master’s degree and am working on my 13）PhD.
The question of whether what I’m doing is useful still pokes its head out every once in a while. But it doesn’t bother me like it once did. I’ve realized， as my studies delve deeper and deeper， that these things are worth knowing， even if I’m the only one that ever knows them.
Physics is worth knowing because it is beautiful. It is the hidden secret of the scientist. We may claim to be researching some topic or other because it is “useful to society” or it will revolutionize some technology but， more often than not， we are simply fascinated by some small detail about how the world works and we can’t stop thinking about it until we understand it better. We are constantly astounded by the way a few basic principles work together to explain so many different things， and sit in wonder and awe at the beauty of the world. Like an artist， I want to share this beauty with others. I want them to know what it is to see through my eyes.
And so， now that it’s almost 3 a.m.， the question of what I’m doing here isn’t so curious. My experiment continues to click away in its 20-second rhythm， as my computers collect data revealing the behaviour of a tiny cloud of atoms， behaviour that will help me understand the nature of my world. And if it doesn’t quite work， my colleagues will come in and we’ll try again tomorrow. 现在是凌晨两点，而我却很清醒。在多伦多大学物理楼地库光学实验室这个地下工作环境里，人的时间感会失效。
这项实验的时间节奏是20秒钟，一系列精密操控的实验包括：对应激光束的快门开合、机械开关对磁场线圈发送的电流、无线电射频场起作用时示波屏上显示的绿色波形。
很多人的努力之下，这个房间才得以布满各种必需的装置，让这2000个铷元素原子达到足够的冷却程度进入量子力学世界。一旦达到那个温度，这些原子便停止了各自的个体行为，开始共同行动，就像在一个集体里似的，进入一种新的物质状态，我们称之为“玻色—爱因斯坦凝聚态”。
四个小时前，我看到即使在我把该冷原子团切割成两份后这种行为仍然持续的迹象，而且很整齐。这意味着我向本科生们讲授的量子力学的确起作用。于是我想再进一步探究。
我经常好奇自己是如何走到这一步的。事实并不像任何了解我过去的人从表面上看到的那么顺当通畅。我很可能曾是幼儿园班上最优秀的孩子。我以班上最优的成绩从初中毕业，还有之后的高中。读书是我擅长的事，而数学和科学是我最爱的科目。由于父亲的影响，出于要找一份真正工作的实际考虑，我本科选了工程学专业，当时我的书面考试一直优于其他同学。再一次，我以全班最好的成绩从本科毕业。
当我大学本科毕业后，我愣住了。我不知道接下来的人生要怎么走。我完成了自己一直期望的所有事情，那就是上大学。我面前出现了两个选择：我可以继续攻读研究生，又或者是开始教学工作，将我认为最有意思的东西教给大概是高中水平的人。
第一个选择，我知道，能够满足我的求知欲，但会给我留下一种感觉，觉得这是把时间花在满足个人对知识的一些高尖枝节的自私追求上，而对他人的生活质量关联甚少。第二个选择，我知道，将会给我带来报酬，并使我成为行为榜样，但我害怕那会浪费了我的某些天赋。这种矛盾，这个决定，使我麻痹丧志，结果最后我决定什么都不做。我在很长一段时间里无所作为，而当中有一整年的放空正是我所需要的。
事实上也不是什么都没做。我花了一年的时间做义工，早上和小学生在一起，冬夜则和无家可归者待在一起。我还在一家致力于推动妇女参与科学和工程学事业的组织做了几个月的兼职。
该组织的主席是一位让人惊叹的女士：她是一位快要退休的教授，一直把大量的时间奉献到该组织以及推动儿童参与科学的事业中，同时还一直是她自己领域里的一位杰出科学家。虽然当时我并未意识到，但我想正是因为看到这位女士追求自己热爱的事业，并将她的热情与人分享，鼓舞他人，才使得我能够在某个星期四在实验室里待至凌晨两点。
这个决定是我那些奇怪决定中的一个。那是个寒冷的一月夜晚，在我无所事事的那一年里，我当时坐在客厅里，然后突然灵光一闪。我知道我想读研究生。那天做的这个决定非常明确，并从此毫无动摇过。我向两所加拿大大学递交了申请，并选择了其中一所，五年后，我获得了硕士学位，如今正在攻读博士学位。
那个关于我目前所做的事是否具有实际意义的问题依然会时不时地从我的脑海里冒冒头。但它从来都无法像当初那样干扰到我。我已深知，当我的钻研工作走得越深入，这些知识被了解的价值就会更加明确，即使我是唯一认识这些价值的人。
物理学是值得去了解的，因为那是如此之美。它是科学家隐藏的秘密。我们可能会声称对某些课题进行研究是因为它是“对社会有益的”，又或是它将带来某种技术的变革，但其实很多时候都不是这样的，我们只不过是对一些关于世界运行的微小细节着迷不已，无法停止对其思考，直到我们能更好地理解它们为止。一些基本的原理相互作用便可解释那么多不同的事物，我们时常为之感到震惊，并对这个世界的美感到惊叹又敬畏。就如艺术家那样，我想与他人分享这种美。我希望人们能通过我的双眼了解其美态。
所以，现在快凌晨三点了，我在这里做什么，这已经不是什么难解疑团了。我的实验还在按着它那20秒钟的循环规律进行着，同时我的电脑收集着揭示这些细微冷原子团的行为数据，这些行为将有助于我更好地理解我的世界的本质。如果行不通的话，我的同事会加入进来，然后明天我们会再继续尝试。