神奇怪招,减排温室气体

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  Some actions didn’t quite make it on to the official list, but they are nevertheless interesting in their own right.
  
  Farting [放屁] Less
  Bad manners just got worse. Breaking news shows that the average person lets rip[让全速前进] two to three shot glasses注1 of carbon dioxide[二氧化碳] every 24 hours.
  (Unless you’re a vegetarian, in which case you may need a pint glass.) Concerned? Scientists, stifling[沉闷的]
  giggles[咯咯笑], advise a diet low in baked beans, corn-on-the-cob, green peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins[葡萄干].
  
  Skip a Space Flight
  Conscience clear for take-off? Intergalactic[星际间的]
  spring breaks sound like a blast[爆炸] – but the climate impact of space tourism is giving rocket scientists tropopause注2 for thought. A single NASA shuttle’s
  climate impact can eclipse that of New York in a
  week – and a space tourism buggy[专用小汽车] still
  produces as much CO2 as a business class flight from London to New York.
  Plus, if star treks注3 really take off, yearly emissions from space tourism could trump[胜过] the weekly emissions of a 500MW power station.
  
  Composting toilet
  Remember when composting toilets were a conversational taboo[避讳], pooh-poohed注4 by mainstream society? Getting rid of “humanure注5” using a waterless toilet may not be just a fringe[边缘的] fad much longer as it reduces the climate impact of waste. How?
  By composting it into humus[腐殖质]. (Not to be
  confused for the stuff made out of chickpeas[鹰嘴豆] – that’s
  hummus[鹰嘴豆泥].)
  
  Have One Less Child
  Looking for an excuse to get out of having another child? Controversial research by the Optimum Population Trust注6
  suggests that the single most effective thing a person can do for climate change is to not have that extra baby.
  More people means more carbon emissions. Simple as that. (In fact, a couple that has two kids instead of three could cut their family’s climate impact by the equivalent[等量] of 620 return flights a year between London and New York.)
  
  Compost a Corpse
  Surprisingly, we continue producing CO2, beyond the grave[死后]. Our corpses are burnt in furnaces[火炉] up to five times hotter than an average oven, emitting greenhouse gases and carcinogenic[致癌的] air pollution. Our bodies are 80% carbon, producing around 215kg of CO2 when cremated[火葬]. Coffins are made from chipboard[硬纸板] or tropical hardwood, decomposing[分解] slowly alongside a methane[甲烷]-producing corpse as it rots.
  A more climate-friendly way to go is to opt for[选择] an “eco” style “pod[豆荚]” made from toughened recycled paper and be buried in a woodland or wilderness, with a planted commemorative tree.
  
  有些做法并没有被列入官方认可的减排措施之中,但它们着实有趣,各有特点。
  
  少放屁
  这已经不止是没有礼貌了。一则震撼性的消息指出,一个普通人平均每24个小时放出约两至三烈酒杯体积的二氧化碳。(除非你是一个素食者,那样你就可能需要一个品脱杯了。)有点担心?科学家邪笑着建议——减少摄入烘烤豆子、玉米棒、青椒、卷心菜、牛奶和葡萄干吧。
  
  别去太空旅行
  你能问心无愧地升空吗?春季星际假期听起来非常震撼——但是太空旅游所带来的气候影响让火箭专家不得不为对流层顶作出考虑。美国国家航空航天局进行一次航天飞行所带来的气候影响就能超过纽约一个星期所产生的气候影响,而一辆太空旅行专车所产生的二氧化碳相当于一趟从伦敦飞往纽约的商务舱飞行。
  此外,如果真的实现了“星际迷航”,太空旅行每年的二氧化碳排放量将超过一座500兆瓦发电厂每周的排放量。
  
  堆肥厕所
  还记得大家把堆肥厕所视为禁语,并被主流社会嗤之以鼻的日子吗?用无水厕所排掉“人造肥料”也许过不久就不再是边缘时尚了,因为这样能减少排泄物对气候的影响。怎么做到?
  将其堆肥制成腐殖质呗。(别和鹰嘴豆做出来的东西混淆了——那是鹰嘴豆泥。)
  
  少生一个孩子
  正在寻找少生一个孩子的理由吗?理想人口信托组织进行了一项颇具争议性的研究,结果显示个人能为气候变化所做的最有效的一件事情就是不要超额生育。
  更多的人口意味着更多的二氧化碳排放量——就是那么简单。(实际上,只生两个而不是三个孩子的夫妇每年减少的家庭气候影响相当于飞机从伦敦到纽约往返620次。)
  
  人体肥料
  让人惊讶的是,我们死后还在继续制造二氧化碳。我们的尸体被放进比普通烤炉温度高五倍的火炉里火化,释放出温室气体和含有致癌物质的空气污染物。我们身体的80%由碳元素组成,火化时会产生约
  215千克的二氧化碳气体。棺材是用硬纸板或者热带硬木制成的,会随着尸体的腐烂慢慢分解,后者还同时产生甲烷气体。
  一个对环境更为有利的方法是选择“生态式”棺木(由韧化再循环纸张做成的豆荚状棺材),埋葬在林地或者荒野,再种上一棵树作纪念。
  
  注1:烈酒杯(shot glass)指设计用于盛装或者量取酒品的玻璃杯子,可用于调酒,也可以直接饮用。在英国,一烈酒杯容量为25或者35毫升。下文提到的品脱杯(pint glass)指一品脱容量的玻璃杯(1英制品脱=568.26125毫升),通常用来盛装啤酒。
  注2:tropopause指对流层顶,此处为一语双关,既指对流层顶,又取其词中的“pause”之义——give (sb.) pause意为“使(某人)认真考虑,使犹豫”。
  注3:《星际迷航》(Star Trek)最早是1966年在美国全国广播公司(NBC)播出的一部电视系列剧,之後陆续制播了五部《星际迷航》系列电视剧以及一部系列动画片。随后出现了同名电影、游戏及小说等。
  注4:pooh-poo为一语双关,由pooh-pooh(对……嗤之以鼻)与poo-poo([儿童用语]大便)组合而成。
  注5:humanure是一个新造词(human与manure的结合),特指通过堆肥回收后利用于农业或其他用途的人类排泄物肥料。
  注6:理想人口信托组织(简称OPT)是英国一家主要环境慈善机构和智囊团组织,致力于改善人口增长对环境所造成的影响。其研究的人口问题覆盖包括气候变化、能源、资源、发展、就业、人口老化等方面的环境与经济问题。
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