米兰达·可儿:天使在人间

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  每当迈向年底,有一个时装展总会成为欧美时尚圈及娱乐圈的头等大事——这就是“维多利亚的秘密时尚秀”(Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show)。这个时尚内衣大牌用夺目的宝石、璀璨的舞台、带感的现场表演与精美的天使翅膀捧红了一代又一代的传奇超模,澳大利亚美女米兰达·可儿就是其中的佼佼者。米兰达所拥有的不仅仅是天使面孔、魔鬼身材与“维密天使”的光环,她经历过至爱的离世,出过励志畅销书;她与前夫奥兰多·布鲁姆(Orlando Bloom)育有一子,与家人一起创立了自己的护肤品牌;她的一举一动都能引起媒体轰动,多年来一直是全世界收入最高的模特之一。
  在这一期节目中,米兰达与“名嘴”克雷格·费格斯大方畅谈她的生活——与其说是一次不太正经的采访,不如说这是一段默契十足的“相声”,两人捧哏逗哏,互相调侃,真是让人忍俊不禁!
  Miranda Kerr: A Joyful Angel Enjoys Her Life
  Craig Ferguson (Host): Welcome back, everybody! My next guest is a very, uh, beautiful woman. She’s a businesswoman, really. And she’s an author and a model. Eh, she’s featured in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Miranda Kerr, everybody! Miranda Kerr!
  Welcome, Miranda. You look absolutely lovely, like, really very nice indeed…
  Miranda Kerr: Thank you.
  Craig: …I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you before, but you’re, you’re a reasonably attractive young lady.
  Miranda: Thank you. And you’re very handsome, too.
  Craig: Yeah, you gotta throw a bit more 1)oomph behind it, if you’re gonna say it.


  Miranda: You’re a very handsome man.
  Craig: A little bit more.
  Miranda: I think that we should take our kids on a play date together.
  Craig: Yeah, that 2)sings. What age are your kids?
  Miranda: My…I have a son.
  Craig: Right.
  Miranda: And he’s around the same age as your son.
  Craig: Let’s get them together and get them in a band.
  Miranda: Yeah. My son can play the piano.
  Craig: My son can play the piano better than your son.
  Miranda: Oh, I’m not sure about that.
  Craig: Maybe we should set them in a sort of pianoplaying race.
  Miranda: OK, well, he can’t really play the piano, but he walked into this…we did a play-date thing, and he walked into the room. The first thing he 3)made a beeline for was the piano, and he got up there and just…it was a little mini piano, a kid’s one.
  Craig: Right.
  Miranda: And he got up there and just started playing, and I was, like, wow!
  Craig: That’s what…that’s what Richie did! That’s the same story!
  Miranda: It, it does run in my family. It does run in my family, though.
  Craig: Yeah. That’s fantastic!
  Miranda: It’s in our blood.
  Craig: Do you play the piano?


  Miranda: I do, a little.   Craig: A, a little piano or you play the piano a little?
  Miranda: A little piano.
  Craig: Right. You play a tiny…that’s adorable!
  Miranda: Yeah, my, my grandma is amazing.
  Craig: Mine too, but she doesn’t play the piano. But you come on here saying your kids better than my kid, your grandma’s better than my grandma. Who the hell do you think you are, lady?!
  Miranda: I come from down under.
  Craig: Australia?!
  Miranda: 4)Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! (With the crowd) Oy, oy, oy! Yeah!
  Craig: You know that Kerr is a Scottish name, though.
  Miranda: It is.
  Craig: It is?!
  Miranda: Yes, I, I have…
  Craig: Oh, well, there you are, then.
  Miranda: I have Scottish and Irish in my 5)ancestry.
  Craig: That must…you, you fond of whiskey?
  Miranda: Um, no, but I like 6)Guinness.
  Craig: Well, Guinness is good.
  Miranda: Yeah.
  Craig: I mean, if you like that sort of thing. I don’t know…I don’t know if I could say that on TV, but I, I used to enjoy Guinness immensely, when...before I stopped.
  Miranda: Yes. And now what is your preferred drink?
  Craig: Tea.
  Miranda: Tea. What kind of tea?
  Craig: Oh, I like, I like an 7)Earl Grey, really, or, uh…
  Miranda: I like an Earl Grey, too.
  Craig: Do you really?
  Miranda: Yeah. I love an Earl Grey.
  Craig: Oh, I think we’ll get along nice actually! Yeah!
  Miranda: Yeah! Earl Grey!
  Craig: Earl Grey or bit of 8)Darjeeling, maybe. You like a bit of Darjeeling?
  Miranda: No, no.
  Craig: What the hell!
  Miranda: I like…
  Craig: You think your grandma’s better than my grandma!
  Miranda: Let’s just have a play date, and then we can drink some tea, and…
  Craig: Wait, you…I’m one of your girlfriends now, aren’t I? When did I become this nonthreatening? That’s awful, but great at the same time! No, I think it’s lovely. Well, so you’re…
  Miranda: It is lovely.
  Craig: Yeah. Your, your baby’s American then.
  Miranda: Yeah. He was born here in LA.
  Craig: In the fashion shows, are you walking up and down with your underwear on?
  Miranda: I am, and I have some wings on as well.
  Craig: Yeah, I, I think I’ve seen one of those things, yeah.
  Miranda: White wings. Yeah.
  Craig: Yeah, that’s, eh, that’s quite a look, uh, that you…
  Miranda: Yeah, it’s part of, you know, it’s something different. You don’t see...you don’t see it every day.


  Craig: Do you ever get embarrassed? Do you get embarrassed walkin’ around like that, kind of, you know…
  Miranda: To be honest, I don’t get embarrassed, but what I do find is that, if I have friends or my husband in the audience watching…
  Craig: Yeah.
  Miranda: …I get “Oh, my goodness, it’s a little embarrassing,” ’cause it’s almost like you put…
  Craig: Your husband, presumably, has seen you in your underwear before.
  Miranda: He has, but it’s different because I’m parading it in front of everyone else, not just him, you know. Let’s bring it back to my grandma, OK?
  Craig: Here we go. You and your grandma.
  Miranda: What she said to me about…she said about men, “Men are very visual, so don’t forget that.” She said, “Every day, just put a little makeup on, put on some nice underwear, and you’ll keep your husband.” That’s what she told me!
  Craig: You know, I, I think there…there’s truth in that.
  Miranda: Yeah.
  Craig: And when I say that, I mean, for me.
  Miranda: Yeah.
  Craig: I can’t, I can’t speak for all men, but I think men are visual. Aren’t women visual too, though?
  Miranda: No, women need to be mentally stimulated.
  Craig: I see. Miranda Kerr, everybody!


  克雷格·费格斯(主持人):各位,欢迎继续收看节目!我的下一位嘉宾是一位超级美女。她其实还是个女商人,写过书,当过模特,参加过维多利亚的秘密时尚秀。各位,有请米兰达·可儿!米兰达·可儿!
  欢迎你,米兰达,你真是美丽动人,特别特别好看……
  米兰达·可儿:谢谢。
  克雷格:……我不晓得有没有人这样当面对你说,但你……确实是位相当有魅力的美女。
  米兰达:谢谢,你也很帅呢。
  克雷格:喔,如果想夸我,你就要夸得更有感情一点。


  米兰达:你真是个帅哥。
  克雷格:再投入点。
  米兰达:我觉得我们应该带上孩子,一起搞个亲子聚会。
  克雷格:喔,这可把我乐坏了。你孩子几岁了?
  米兰达:我的……我有一个儿子。
  克雷格:没错。
  米兰达:他和你儿子差不多大。
  克雷格:我们带他俩聚一聚,一起组个乐队吧。
  米兰达:好啊。我儿子会弹钢琴。
  克雷格:我儿子的钢琴弹得比你儿子好。
  米兰达:噢,那可未必。
  克雷格:也许我们应该给他俩搞个钢琴比赛。
  米兰达:好吧,我儿子其实不会弹钢琴,但他走进来……我们那天在搞亲子聚会,他走进房间,第一件事就是朝着钢琴径直走去,他爬上去,然后……那是台小小的迷你钢琴,给小孩子玩的。
  克雷格:噢。
  米兰达:他爬上去,然后就开始弹起来了,我吓了一跳!
  克雷格:那正是……我家里奇也是这样!故事一模一样!
  米兰达:这确实是家族遗传。我们一家都这样。
  克雷格:啊,真了不起!
  米兰达:这是流淌在我们血液里的东西。
  克雷格:你也会弹钢琴吗?
  米兰达:我会,一丁点。
  克雷格:是会弹小钢琴还是会弹一点钢琴?
  米兰达:小钢琴。
  克雷格:好吧,你弹着一台小小的……那太可爱了!
  米兰达:是啊,我有个了不起的外婆。
  克雷格:我外婆也很好,但她不会弹钢琴。你来我这里做节目,一直在说你的孩子比我的孩子强,你的外婆也比我的外婆好——姑娘,你以为你算哪根葱哪根蒜啊?!   米兰达:我来自澳新地区。
  克雷格:澳大利亚?!
  米兰达:澳洲、澳洲、澳洲!(和众人一起)唷、唷、唷!好!
  克雷格:你知道,“Kerr(可儿)”是个苏格兰姓氏。
  米兰达:是的。
  克雷格:还真是?!
  米兰达:没错,我有……
  克雷格:喔,好吧,原来你是那里人。
  米兰达:我有苏格兰和爱尔兰血统。
  克雷格:那一定……你爱喝威士忌吗?
  米兰达:呃,不爱喝,但我喜欢喝吉尼斯。
  克雷格:噢,吉尼斯也不错。
  米兰达:对啊。
  克雷格:我的意思是,如果你好酒的话。我不确定……我不知道能不能在电视上谈这个,但我……我以前很爱喝吉尼斯……在我戒酒之前。
  米兰达:这样啊。那你现在喜欢喝什么呢?
  克雷格:茶。
  米兰达:茶啊,什么茶呢?


  克雷格:喔,我喜欢……我挺爱喝伯爵茶的,又或者,呃……
  米兰达:我也爱喝伯爵茶。
  克雷格:真的吗?
  米兰达:是啊,我喜欢伯爵茶。
  克雷格:喔,我觉得我们一定处得来!好!
  米兰达:是啊!伯爵茶!
  克雷格:也许来点伯爵茶,或者大吉岭茶。你喜欢来点大吉岭茶吗?
  米兰达:不,不爱喝。
  克雷格:搞什么啊!
  米兰达:我喜欢……
  克雷格:你还觉得你外婆比我外婆强!
  米兰达:我们来搞个亲子聚会吧,然后可以喝喝茶,还有……
  克雷格:等等,你……我这是成了你的一个“好姐们”,是不?我什么时候变得这么毫无威胁性了?这太可怕了,不过与此同时,这感觉真不错!不,我觉得这挺好的。嗯,所以你……
  米兰达:确实挺好的。
  克雷格:是啊。你的……宝宝是美国人咯。
  米兰达:没错,他就是在洛杉矶出生的。
  克雷格:在维密时尚秀上,你总是穿着内衣走来走去吗?
  米兰达:没错,还会装上翅膀。
  克雷格:是啊,我……我想我见过那些翅膀,是的。
  米兰达:白白的翅膀,是的。
  克雷格:没错,那是……那实在是很不寻常的打扮,而你……
  米兰达:是啊,那是一部分……你知道,那是非同一般的造型。你不会见到……那是你在日常生活中不会见到的东西。


  克雷格:你会不好意思吗?打扮成那样走来走去,这会让你觉得尴尬吗,你瞧,就是有点儿……
  米兰达:老实说,我不会觉得尴尬。但我后来确实发现,如果我的朋友或者我丈夫在观众席上看着……
  克雷格:嗯。
  米兰达:……我就会想:“天啊,真是有点丢脸。”因为这简直就像你穿着……
  克雷格:但你丈夫大概见过你穿内衣的样子。
  米兰达:他确实见过,但这不一样,因为我要穿着内衣在其他人面前走秀,你知道,而不是只穿给他一个人看。这又要谈到我外婆了,可以吗?
  克雷格:又来了,你和你外婆。
  米兰达:她对我说过……她是这样评价男人的:“男人都是视觉动物,你可别忘记这一点。”她说:“每天化点淡妆,穿上漂亮的内衣,你就能留住丈夫的心。”这是她教我的!
  克雷格:你瞧,我……我觉得……这话确实挺有道理。
  米兰达:确实。
  克雷格:我这么说——我是说,这只是我的个人意见。
  米兰达:没错。
  克雷格:我不能……我不能代表全体男士发言,但我个人觉得男人确实是视觉动物。不过,难道女性就不注重视觉吗?
  米兰达:是的,女性需要心灵上的刺激。
  克雷格:原来如此。各位,感谢米兰达·可儿!
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