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To Be a Writer
江苏省溧阳市初级中学初二（3）班 孔 瑶
I still remember clearly that at the age of three to seven years old, my mother told fairy tales to me every night. With the interesting fairy tales, I fell asleep gradually and had a nice dream. I grow up with them so I have a pleasant childhood. I loved them so much that I was determined to become a writer. In that case, I can write more funny fairy tales to other children. When I was a little girl, I became interested in reading. So far, I have read many interesting books, which are from home and abroad, such as Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Arabian Nights, Little Snow-white, and so on. I have learned how to write articles since I went to school. I find it interesting to write articles, especially about fairy tales. I don’t know if my books about fairy tales can be published when I grow up. In spite of this, I really love writing stories just as I read in the books. It is my fun to insist on writing. I also want my stories to make others happy. So in my ordinary life, I often try to tell my classmates about the stories which are written all by myself. They have become interested in my stories. This makes me feel very happy and confident.
But I know that my knowledge is not enough to write excellent stories. What can I do now? It is no doubt that I must work hard to get ready for the dream. Only in this way, can I realize my dream.
【点评】本文小作者热情洋溢的介绍了她长大想当一名作家的理想。通过回忆小时候对童话的喜爱，直接切入主题，表达自然，得体；在文章结尾部分，小作者表达了当作家的决心，更让人感觉她对作家梦的喜爱，文章一气呵成，完整流畅。难得的是小作者为了使行文流畅不但灵活的运用了各种句式，还应用了so far, such as, It is no doubt that…, only in this way等短语和句式。此外，文中小作者回忆了她小时候的趣事，这也为文章增色不少。唯一缺憾的是，有些语运用不够恰当，如at the age of…短语后不能再接years old, write more funny fairy tales to other children中的to用for比较恰当。
To Run to the Sun in the Heart
江苏省溧阳市社渚初级中学初二（3）班 任 露
In the First Class which was broadcast by CCTV at the beginning of this term in 2011, I was deeply moved by a blind child called Liu Hao. I feel that he is just the man who is running to the sun.
He lost his sight when his mother gave birth to him. However, we can not imagine how many difficulties Liu Hao has overcome in his life and study. He could not see the piano keys, so he tried to touch them one by one with his fingers. When he wanted to visit the master workers, they gave him their ice-cold faces. He was once refused by more than 40 teachers. It is an extremely heavy strike for any common man. Even though little Liu Hao met so many difficulties, he held them out calmly. Because he has had a firm faith in his mind. That is to become a talented musician in the near future. We should learn from his noble quality and spirit.
From now on, I will learn from him. I shall work harder than ever so as to get ready for the future. I am going to run to the sun in my heart all the time.
【点评】本文作者在收看了中央电视台播放的节目《开学第一课》后，被节目中小刘浩的事迹深深打动。文中叙述了小刘浩自幼双目失明却顽强地与命运抗争，最终在弹钢琴方面有所成就的感人事迹。文章行文连贯，观点鲜明，条理清晰，语言流畅。在语言方面,有复杂结构如：定语从句、状语从句、被动语态等句式的运用非常妥当，可见小作者英语水平很棒。另外when, however, from now on, so as to 等词的运用使文章显得逻辑性强。
指导老师：虞金花
江苏省溧阳市初级中学初二（3）班 孔 瑶
I still remember clearly that at the age of three to seven years old, my mother told fairy tales to me every night. With the interesting fairy tales, I fell asleep gradually and had a nice dream. I grow up with them so I have a pleasant childhood. I loved them so much that I was determined to become a writer. In that case, I can write more funny fairy tales to other children. When I was a little girl, I became interested in reading. So far, I have read many interesting books, which are from home and abroad, such as Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Arabian Nights, Little Snow-white, and so on. I have learned how to write articles since I went to school. I find it interesting to write articles, especially about fairy tales. I don’t know if my books about fairy tales can be published when I grow up. In spite of this, I really love writing stories just as I read in the books. It is my fun to insist on writing. I also want my stories to make others happy. So in my ordinary life, I often try to tell my classmates about the stories which are written all by myself. They have become interested in my stories. This makes me feel very happy and confident.
But I know that my knowledge is not enough to write excellent stories. What can I do now? It is no doubt that I must work hard to get ready for the dream. Only in this way, can I realize my dream.
【点评】本文小作者热情洋溢的介绍了她长大想当一名作家的理想。通过回忆小时候对童话的喜爱，直接切入主题，表达自然，得体；在文章结尾部分，小作者表达了当作家的决心，更让人感觉她对作家梦的喜爱，文章一气呵成，完整流畅。难得的是小作者为了使行文流畅不但灵活的运用了各种句式，还应用了so far, such as, It is no doubt that…, only in this way等短语和句式。此外，文中小作者回忆了她小时候的趣事，这也为文章增色不少。唯一缺憾的是，有些语运用不够恰当，如at the age of…短语后不能再接years old, write more funny fairy tales to other children中的to用for比较恰当。
To Run to the Sun in the Heart
江苏省溧阳市社渚初级中学初二（3）班 任 露
In the First Class which was broadcast by CCTV at the beginning of this term in 2011, I was deeply moved by a blind child called Liu Hao. I feel that he is just the man who is running to the sun.
He lost his sight when his mother gave birth to him. However, we can not imagine how many difficulties Liu Hao has overcome in his life and study. He could not see the piano keys, so he tried to touch them one by one with his fingers. When he wanted to visit the master workers, they gave him their ice-cold faces. He was once refused by more than 40 teachers. It is an extremely heavy strike for any common man. Even though little Liu Hao met so many difficulties, he held them out calmly. Because he has had a firm faith in his mind. That is to become a talented musician in the near future. We should learn from his noble quality and spirit.
From now on, I will learn from him. I shall work harder than ever so as to get ready for the future. I am going to run to the sun in my heart all the time.
【点评】本文作者在收看了中央电视台播放的节目《开学第一课》后，被节目中小刘浩的事迹深深打动。文中叙述了小刘浩自幼双目失明却顽强地与命运抗争，最终在弹钢琴方面有所成就的感人事迹。文章行文连贯，观点鲜明，条理清晰，语言流畅。在语言方面,有复杂结构如：定语从句、状语从句、被动语态等句式的运用非常妥当，可见小作者英语水平很棒。另外when, however, from now on, so as to 等词的运用使文章显得逻辑性强。
指导老师：虞金花