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摘 要：人生不可避免的会遇到挫折，而挫折有着正面和负面的影响。挫折也具有不同的两面性，关键在于你怎样面对挫折，学会处理生活中的不如意，才能活的轻松精彩。
关键词：挫折；成功；心态
每个人都会经历挫折，即使那些最成功的人也对曾经的失败直言不讳。那么，成功者和失败者的区别在哪里呢？答案就是成功者知道如何面对障碍，而失败者会让失败阻碍他们的计划与成长。
当生活给你打出了曲线球，有很多的应接办法。在面对困难时，下面15件事千万不要去做。
（1）把生命中出现每件事情的恶果都归咎于他人，从不思考自己在一个群体中的角色，不思考如何提升自己。
（2）愤世嫉俗，从不发自内心地做出承诺。不相信任何人，包括自己。
（3）反复纠结同一件事，纠结于事情为什么会如此发展，纠结于自己每处细节的表现，纠结于别人做出的回应，特别是那种发生在过去，已经无法改变的事情。要记住，是你自己把事情搞砸的。
（4）极端地看待事情，要么小题大做，要么轻描淡写，常认为一件事不是“噩梦”就是“完全无所谓”，别人留下的印象除了“糟糕透顶”就是“非常美好”。经常断章取义做出不成熟的判断。
（5）从不与他人分享自己的想法，期待他人揣测自己的心意。每当情绪失控，会高声发泄情绪，当谈论到自己或他人的行为时，经常使用“总是”、“绝不”这样的字眼。
（6）在背后议论他人。散播他人的八卦，不考虑事实真相，不顾及当事人的感受。
（7）不分场合、不分时机地宣泄自己的情绪。毕竟，那些只是你的个人看法。
（8）不为他人设置交流的底线，放任他人随意打断你正在进行的事情，对你话语粗鲁，并公然抱怨。不直面对自己受到违背原则的人或事。
（9）做事一味追求速度，特别在涉及与他人合作的棘手问题时。不尽力要求额外的时间，也不思考怎样把事做得更好。
（10）认为每件事都针对自己，对他人一直怀恨在心。即使对方的行为给自己造成困扰也不诚然相告，一味堆积自己愤恨的情绪，煽动他人对自己曾受到的伤害和不公引起消极共鸣。
（11）苛责自己和他人，过分关注自己的不足，总是责备自己，悲观的认为没有任何人欣赏自己，自己什么都不是。
（12）删除这篇文章，提醒自己报刊杂志从不会有好的建议。悲观的认为一个人想要改变是十分不易的，坚信“江山易改，本性难移”。
（13）性格暴戾，不回应他人的“你好”和“谢谢”，疑神疑鬼，不怀好意的揣测他人的微笑和示好。
（14）不接受称赞，认为他人的称赞都是是言不由衷、或是要得到什么、要么就是无聊。对待称赞不是咕哝一声就是耸耸肩。认为若亲切回应，他人还会如此虚情假意。
（15）每当生活不如意时，便靠吃垃圾食品、抽烟和喝酒来消遣。从不抽出时间用来放松和运动。
参考文献：
[1] Atalanta Beaumont. Handy Hints for Humans [M].Troubador Publishing Ltd. New York， 2015.
作者简介：
亚特兰大·博蒙特，女，美国著名心理学家。
译者简介：
潘婷（1991～），女，汉族，湖北十堰人，合肥工业大学硕士研究生在读，英语笔译专业。
The 15 Things NOT to Do to Have a Better Life
Atalanta Beaumont
Everyone experiences setbacks. The most successful people freely admit they've failed many times. So what separates successful from unsuccessful individuals？ The difference lies in how successful people respond to obstacles. Conversely， unsuccessful people allow failure to stunt their progress and growth.
There are many ways to respond when life throws you curveballs. Here are the top 15 things NOT to do in the face of failure：
（1）Do look for someone to blame for every event in your life； never think about your own role in circumstances or how you could make things better.
（2）Don't ever commit to anything wholeheartedly. Be cynical. Don’t believe in anything completely， yourself included.
（3）Do go over and over events， how they should have been， how you should have behaved， how others should have responded. Remind yourself how you blew it. Especially dwell on events that are in the past and that you cannot change. （4）Do catastrophize or minimize anything and everything. Events are “nightmares” or “nothing." People are “ghastly or wonderful." Don’t be moderate or slow to judge about anything.
（5）Don't tell anyone how you are feeling. Expect others to know. When your feelings boil over， shout a lot and use words such as “always” and “never” when describing your own and others’ behavior.
（6）Do talk about other people behind their back. Spread gossip about others and don’t investigate the reality of events or worry about anyone’s feelings.
（7）Do blurt out how you are feeling anywhere， any time， any place. After all， your feelings are your feelings.
（8）Don’t set limits on how or when people can speak to you. Let them interrupt what you are doing， swear at you and complain to you publicly. Never confront them about how they are treating you.
（9）Do everything as quickly as possible especially when dealing with tricky situations involving others. Don’t ask for extra time or think about how to approach things.
（10）Do take everything personally. Hold grudges for as long as possible. Don’t tell the people involved what it is they have done. Build up your resentment as much as you can， stoking it up with reminders of past hurts and injustices.
（11）Do be as hard as you can on yourself and others. Find yourself lacking. Tell yourself what an idiot you are. Remind yourself that you’ll never amount to anything and no-one likes you anyway.
（12）Do delete this article. After all， who gets good advice from a website？ Remind yourself that change is difficult； a leopard cannot change its spots.
（13）Do be as grumpy as possible. Do not acknowledge other people if they say hello or thank you and definitely don’t smile or respond to any friendly overtures. Be suspicious.
（14）Don't accept compliments. The person isn't sincere， they just want something or are passing the time of day. Just grunt or shrug. Don’t be gracious otherwise they might compliment you in the future.
（15）Do eat junk food， smoke and drink when life gets hard. Certainly don’t relax or get any exercise—you simply haven’t got time！
关键词：挫折；成功；心态
每个人都会经历挫折，即使那些最成功的人也对曾经的失败直言不讳。那么，成功者和失败者的区别在哪里呢？答案就是成功者知道如何面对障碍，而失败者会让失败阻碍他们的计划与成长。
当生活给你打出了曲线球，有很多的应接办法。在面对困难时，下面15件事千万不要去做。
（1）把生命中出现每件事情的恶果都归咎于他人，从不思考自己在一个群体中的角色，不思考如何提升自己。
（2）愤世嫉俗，从不发自内心地做出承诺。不相信任何人，包括自己。
（3）反复纠结同一件事，纠结于事情为什么会如此发展，纠结于自己每处细节的表现，纠结于别人做出的回应，特别是那种发生在过去，已经无法改变的事情。要记住，是你自己把事情搞砸的。
（4）极端地看待事情，要么小题大做，要么轻描淡写，常认为一件事不是“噩梦”就是“完全无所谓”，别人留下的印象除了“糟糕透顶”就是“非常美好”。经常断章取义做出不成熟的判断。
（5）从不与他人分享自己的想法，期待他人揣测自己的心意。每当情绪失控，会高声发泄情绪，当谈论到自己或他人的行为时，经常使用“总是”、“绝不”这样的字眼。
（6）在背后议论他人。散播他人的八卦，不考虑事实真相，不顾及当事人的感受。
（7）不分场合、不分时机地宣泄自己的情绪。毕竟，那些只是你的个人看法。
（8）不为他人设置交流的底线，放任他人随意打断你正在进行的事情，对你话语粗鲁，并公然抱怨。不直面对自己受到违背原则的人或事。
（9）做事一味追求速度，特别在涉及与他人合作的棘手问题时。不尽力要求额外的时间，也不思考怎样把事做得更好。
（10）认为每件事都针对自己，对他人一直怀恨在心。即使对方的行为给自己造成困扰也不诚然相告，一味堆积自己愤恨的情绪，煽动他人对自己曾受到的伤害和不公引起消极共鸣。
（11）苛责自己和他人，过分关注自己的不足，总是责备自己，悲观的认为没有任何人欣赏自己，自己什么都不是。
（12）删除这篇文章，提醒自己报刊杂志从不会有好的建议。悲观的认为一个人想要改变是十分不易的，坚信“江山易改，本性难移”。
（13）性格暴戾，不回应他人的“你好”和“谢谢”，疑神疑鬼，不怀好意的揣测他人的微笑和示好。
（14）不接受称赞，认为他人的称赞都是是言不由衷、或是要得到什么、要么就是无聊。对待称赞不是咕哝一声就是耸耸肩。认为若亲切回应，他人还会如此虚情假意。
（15）每当生活不如意时，便靠吃垃圾食品、抽烟和喝酒来消遣。从不抽出时间用来放松和运动。
参考文献：
[1] Atalanta Beaumont. Handy Hints for Humans [M].Troubador Publishing Ltd. New York， 2015.
作者简介：
亚特兰大·博蒙特，女，美国著名心理学家。
译者简介：
潘婷（1991～），女，汉族，湖北十堰人，合肥工业大学硕士研究生在读，英语笔译专业。
The 15 Things NOT to Do to Have a Better Life
Atalanta Beaumont
Everyone experiences setbacks. The most successful people freely admit they've failed many times. So what separates successful from unsuccessful individuals？ The difference lies in how successful people respond to obstacles. Conversely， unsuccessful people allow failure to stunt their progress and growth.
There are many ways to respond when life throws you curveballs. Here are the top 15 things NOT to do in the face of failure：
（1）Do look for someone to blame for every event in your life； never think about your own role in circumstances or how you could make things better.
（2）Don't ever commit to anything wholeheartedly. Be cynical. Don’t believe in anything completely， yourself included.
（3）Do go over and over events， how they should have been， how you should have behaved， how others should have responded. Remind yourself how you blew it. Especially dwell on events that are in the past and that you cannot change. （4）Do catastrophize or minimize anything and everything. Events are “nightmares” or “nothing." People are “ghastly or wonderful." Don’t be moderate or slow to judge about anything.
（5）Don't tell anyone how you are feeling. Expect others to know. When your feelings boil over， shout a lot and use words such as “always” and “never” when describing your own and others’ behavior.
（6）Do talk about other people behind their back. Spread gossip about others and don’t investigate the reality of events or worry about anyone’s feelings.
（7）Do blurt out how you are feeling anywhere， any time， any place. After all， your feelings are your feelings.
（8）Don’t set limits on how or when people can speak to you. Let them interrupt what you are doing， swear at you and complain to you publicly. Never confront them about how they are treating you.
（9）Do everything as quickly as possible especially when dealing with tricky situations involving others. Don’t ask for extra time or think about how to approach things.
（10）Do take everything personally. Hold grudges for as long as possible. Don’t tell the people involved what it is they have done. Build up your resentment as much as you can， stoking it up with reminders of past hurts and injustices.
（11）Do be as hard as you can on yourself and others. Find yourself lacking. Tell yourself what an idiot you are. Remind yourself that you’ll never amount to anything and no-one likes you anyway.
（12）Do delete this article. After all， who gets good advice from a website？ Remind yourself that change is difficult； a leopard cannot change its spots.
（13）Do be as grumpy as possible. Do not acknowledge other people if they say hello or thank you and definitely don’t smile or respond to any friendly overtures. Be suspicious.
（14）Don't accept compliments. The person isn't sincere， they just want something or are passing the time of day. Just grunt or shrug. Don’t be gracious otherwise they might compliment you in the future.
（15）Do eat junk food， smoke and drink when life gets hard. Certainly don’t relax or get any exercise—you simply haven’t got time！