第二十二条军规(节选)

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  Plot Summary(故事简介)
  American Writer Joseph Heller(1923-1999)’s satirical war novel Catch-22(1961) depicts the absurdity[荒谬] and inhumanity[不人道] of warfare through the experiences of Yossarian, a bombardier pilot[飞行投弹员] stationed on the island of Pianosa (near Italy) in World War II.
  Yossarian is terrified of flying bombing missions and attempts throughout the novel to escape this duty. He is thwarted[阻碍], however, by his superiors[上级] and by “Catch-22,” an ever-changing rule that keeps people subjected to authority. “Catch-22” works to keep all the men flying bombing missions.
  
   Chapter Five
  
  And 1)Yossarian, who decided right then and there to go crazy.
  “You’re wasting your time, ”2)Doc Daneeka was forced to tell him.
  “Can’t you 3)ground someone who’s crazy?”
  “Sure, I have to. There’s a rule saying I have to ground anyone who’s crazy.”
  “Is 4)Orr crazy?”
  “He sure is,” Doc Daneeka said.
  “Can you ground him?”
  “I sure can. But first he has to ask me to, that’s part of the rule.”
  “Then why doesn’t he ask you to?”
  “Because he’s crazy!” Doc Daneeka said. “He has to be crazy to keep flying 5)combat missions after all the close calls he’s had. Sure I can ground Orr, but first he has to ask me to.”
  “That’s all he has to do to be grounded?”
  “That’s all. Let him ask me.”
  “And then you can ground him?” Yossarian asked.
  “No, then I can’t ground him.”
  “You mean there’s a 6)catch?”
  “Sure there’s a catch,” Doc Daneeka replied. “Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn’t really crazy.”
  There was only one catch, and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate, was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask. And, as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy, and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions, and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them and was crazy and didn’t have to, but if he didn’t want to, he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22, and let out a respectful whistle.
  (whistle)
  “That’s some catch, that Catch-22,” he observed.
  “It’s the best there is,” Doc Daneeka agreed.
  Yossarian saw it clearly in all its spinning 7)reasonableness. There was an 8)elliptical precision about its perfect pairs of parts, that was graceful, and shocking, like good modern art.
  
   第五章
  此外,还有约塞连,这家伙当即拿定主意,要装疯卖傻。
  “你是在浪费时间,”丹尼卡医生不得不跟他这么说。
  “难道你就不能让一个疯子停飞?”
  “当然可以。我也必须那么做。有一条军规明文规定,我必须禁止任何一个疯子执行飞行任务。”
  “奥尔是不是疯子?”
  “他当然是疯子,” 丹尼卡医生说。
  “你能让他停飞吗?”
  “当然可以。不过,先得由他自己来向我提这个要求。规定中有这一条。”
  “那他干吗不来找你?”
  “因为他是疯子,” 丹尼卡医生说,“他好多次死里逃生,可还是一个劲地上天执行作战任务,他要不是疯子,那才怪呢。当然,我可以让奥尔停飞。但,他首先得自己来找我提出这个要求。”
  “难道他只要跟你提出要求,就可以停飞?”
  “没错。让他来找我。”
  “这样你就能让他停飞?” 约塞连问。
  “不能。这样我就不能让他停飞。”
  “你是说这其中有个圈套?”
  “那当然,”丹尼卡医生答道,“这就是第二十二条军规。凡是想逃脱作战任务的人,绝对不会是真正的疯子。”
  这其中只有一个圈套,那便是第二十二条军规。军规规定,凡在面对迫在眉睫的、实实在在的危险时,对自身的安危所表现出的关切,是大脑的理性活动过程。奥尔疯了,可以获准停止飞行。他必须做的事就是提出停飞的要求,然而,一旦他提出要求,他便不再是疯子,必须继续执行飞行任务。如果奥尔继续执行飞行任务,他便是疯子,但假如他就此停止飞行,那说明他神志完全正常,然而,要是他神志正常,那么他就必须去执行飞行任务。假如他执行飞行任务,他便是疯子,所以就不必去飞行;但如果他不想去飞行,那么他就不是疯子,于是便不得不去。第二十二条军规这一条款,实在是再简洁不过,约塞连深受感动,于是,很肃然地吹了声口哨。
  (一声口哨)
  “这第二十二条军规,实在是个了不起的圈套,”他说。
  “绝妙无比。”丹尼卡医生表示赞同。
  约塞连很清楚,第二十二条军规用的是螺旋式的诡辩。这种配合极是简洁精确,其中各个组成部分,配合得相当完美——优雅得体却又令人惊异,与优秀的现代艺术相仿。
  
   Chapter 39
  
  Rome was in ruins, he saw when the plane was down. The 9)Aerodrome had been bombed eight months before. The 10)Coliseum was a 11)dilapidated shell. And 12)the Arch of Constantine had fallen. Nately’s 13)whore’s apartment was a 14)shambles. The girls were gone and the only one there was the old woman. She was talking aloud to herself when Yossarian entered, and began 15)moaning as soon as she saw him.
  “Gone…”
  “Who?”
  “All. All the poor young girls.”
  “Where?”
  “Away. Chased away into the street.”
  “Chased away by who? Who did it?”
  “The 16)mean, tall soldiers with the hard white hats and 17)clubs. And by our 18)Carabineri. They came with their clubs and chased them away. They would not even let them take their coats, the poor things.”
  “There must have been a reason. They couldn’t just 19)barge in here and chase everyone out. What right did they have?”
  “Catch-22.”
  “What!” Yossarian froze in his track with fear and alarm, and felt his whole body begin to 20)tingle. “What did you say?”
  “Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything! We can’t stop them from doing.”
  “How did you know it was Catch-22? Who the hell told you it was Catch-22?”
  “The soldiers with the hard white hats and clubs. ‘What right do you have?’ the girls said. ‘Catch-22,’ the man said. What is a Catch-22?”
  “Didn’t they show it to you?”
  “They don’t hafta show us Catch-22,” the old woman answered. “The law says they don’t have to.”
  “What law says they don’t have to?”
  “Catch-22!”
  “Oh, God damn!” Yossarian exclaimed bitterly. “I bet it wasn’t even really there.”
  He stopped walking and glanced around the room 21)disconsolately.
  Yossarian left money in the old woman’s lap and strode out of the apartment, cursing Catch-2222)vehemently as he descended the stairs, even though he knew there was no such thing. Catch-22 did not exist. He was positive of that, but it made no difference. What did matter was that everyone thought it existed, and that was much worse, for there was no object or text to 23)ridicule or 24)refute, to accuse, criticize, attack, amend, hate, 25)revile, spit at, rip to shreds, trample upon or burn up.
  
  第三十九章
  飞机降落后,他看到罗马已是一片废墟。飞机场八个月前曾遭到轰炸。圆形剧场只剩下残垣断壁,君士坦丁凯旋门也已经倒塌了。内特利的妓女住的公寓也一片狼籍。妓女们都不在了,只剩下那个老太婆守在那儿。约塞连进门时,她正在大声地自言自语。一看见他,她就呜咽开了。
  “走了……”
  “谁走了?”
  “全都走了。所有可怜的年轻姑娘都走了。”
  “去哪儿了?”
  “外面。全都被赶到外面大街上去了。”
  “被谁赶走了?是谁干的?”
  “是那些下流的高个子士兵,他们戴着硬梆梆的白帽子,手里拿着棍子。还有我们的宪兵。他们拿着棍子把她们往外赶,连外衣也不让她们穿。可怜的姑娘们。”
  “这总得有个理由,他们总不能就这么闯进来把所有的人都赶出去吧。他们有什么权利这么做?”
  “第二十二条军规。”
  “什么!”约塞连惊恐万状,一下子愣住了。他感到自己浑身上下针扎般地疼痛。“你刚才说什么?”
  “第二十二条军规说,他们有权利做任何事情,我们不能阻止他们。”
  “你怎么知道是第二十二条军规?到底是谁告诉你是第二十二条军规的?”
  “是那些戴着硬梆梆的白帽子、拿着棍子的大兵。‘你们有什么权利这么做?’姑娘们问。‘第二十二条军规,’那士兵说。什么是第二十二条军规?”
  “他们没有给你们看看这军规?”
  “他们没有必要给我们看第二十二条军规,”老太婆回答道,“法律说,他们没有必要这么做。”
  “什么法律说他们没有必要这么做?”
  “第二十二条军规。”
  “哎,真该死!” 约塞连恶狠狠地嚷道。“我敢打赌,它根本就不存在。”
  他停住脚步,闷闷不乐地环顾了一下房间。
  约塞连往老太婆膝盖上扔了些钱,便大踏步地走出了公寓。他一边走下楼梯,一边在心里狠狠地诅咒第二十二条军规,尽管他心里明白,根本不存在这么一条军规。第二十二条军规不存在,对此他确信无疑,可那又有什么用呢?问题在于每个人都认为它存在,而更糟糕的是,它没有什么实实在在的内容或条文可以让人们嘲笑、驳斥、指责、批评、攻击、修正、憎恨、谩骂、啐唾沫、撕成碎片、踩在脚下或者烧成灰烬。
  (译文参考自译林出版社)
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