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11岁之前,孩子们倾向于将心事说给父母听,遇到问题,父母是他们最先想到的。可过了这个年龄,顺序就倒过来啦。他们的听众依次是朋友、老师、顾问,最后才是父母。只有对孩子生活了解,才能去帮助他们。费城坦泊大学心理学教授对20000名青少年进行了3年的调查,发现那些能经常和父母们谈论日常生活的孩子,学校生活顺利,吸毒和酗酒的也少。下面这7个步骤也许可以帮助父母们打破和孩子之间那堵沉默的墙。一、创造谈话环境青少年往往对于坐下来谈话感到不自然,你必须创造一种环境,使他们感到自然,这样当他们遇到问题时,才会习惯于找你。
Before the age of eleven, children tended to say their thoughts to their parents. When problems arose, parents first thought of them. After this age, the order is reversed. Their audience followed by friends, teachers, consultants, and finally parents. Only by understanding children’s lives can we help them. A psychiatrist professor at Philadelphia University of Tennessee conducted a 3-year survey of 20 000 adolescents and found that children who regularly talk to their parents about everyday life have had a good school life and little drug and alcohol abuse. The following seven steps may help parents break the silent wall with their children. I. Creating a Talking Environment Teens often feel unnatural about sitting down and talking. You have to create an environment in which to make them feel natural so that when they encounter a problem, they get used to finding you.