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Do you have a problem or some distress you want to chat? Have something to get off your chest? Write to me, your sister “Summer”.
Q：我是一名初二的女生，在和同学的交往中，我不敢和人对视，因为怕自己说错话，让别人听了不舒服。上课时，我不敢发言，老师让同学轮流上台发言时，我宁愿逃学。看到别人畅所欲言，我有种莫名的失落感。
Social phobia is the third largest psychological problem in the world today.
社交恐惧症——当今世界第三大精神疾病
A：大多数人，不同程度地会在社交活动中感到不好意思，没有自信。他们在公众面前演讲，或与人约会时会紧张、心跳、手抖。不过这些焦虑情绪是暂时的，会很快消失，并不会影响他们的正常生活和学习。但如果这种焦虑情绪不能够缓解并严重影响了人们正常生活，这就是一种严重的问题——社交恐惧症。它是世界第三大精神疾病。据调查，在美国，每八个人中就有一人患此症。一项有关中学生心理健康状况的调查显示：目前中学生的心理问题较多，其中女生的心理问题较为明显。
A:Most of people will feel bashful and unconfident in the social activities. When they give a speech in public or date with someone, they may become uneasy, palpitated and trembling. But if this anxiety is temporary, which disappears soon, it may not do harm to our daily life or study. However, if the anxiety can’t be released and affect people’s life deeply, it may mean a severe problem ——social phobia, which is the third largest psychological problem in the world today. According to a survey, one in eight people in America is suffering from social phobia. A research on the mental health status of students in middle schools shows that, at present, there are many more mental problems among students in middle schools, especially among girls.
社交恐怖症产生的因素有很多，也很复杂。有的人生来性格内向，内向的人在青春期过程中如果不注意调整心理状态，就会变得惧怕与人交往。严重的就会发展成为社交恐怖症。与父母的关系不好也是产生社交恐惧症的原因之一。父母的过度保护或是不断指责，容易使孩子的自我评价降低，从而引发社交恐惧。此外，不爱运动也可能引发心理问题。
Many factors will lead to social phobia, which make it quite complicated.Some people are born diffident, who may become more fear of mixing with others if they are not able to adjust their mental conditions during adolescence. When serious enough, it may develop into social phobia. The bad relation with parents is one of the reasons. Either overprotection or constant scolding from parents can early result in the self-contempt of children, then social-phobia occurs. Furthermore, dislike of sports is under suspicion of bringing on the mental problems.
要克服社交恐惧，可从以下几个方面去做：(1)分析一下你自己，是否过分在意别人对你的印象和评价，是否总是想给别人留下一个好印象。如果是这样，说明你自己总是不能肯定自己，要通过别人的赞扬和接纳来肯定自己。你要问问你自己，为什么那么担心被人注意？为什么那么担心给他人留下不好的印象？(2)列出一张等级表：从最不让你紧张的人或情景(如和家人、非常熟悉的朋友等)到最让你紧张的人或情景(如和同龄异性的谈话及开会发言等正式场合)，分出5到10级，然后从最不让你紧张的那一级做起，主动找机会和他们交往，即使有轻度紧张也不要回避，可鼓起勇气问对方是否看出你的紧张和异样，通常对方是看不出你紧张的，而是你自己吓自己。第一级通过了再做第二级，逐级攻破。(3)如果你自己无法按照上述的方法操作，或你感觉做了之后收效不大，那就去找心理医生寻求帮助。
当你树立起战胜社交恐怖症的信心，就一定能取得良好成效，享受新的生活。
In order to get over social phobia, you can do as the following: (1) Check on yourself, whether you are too care about others' impression and opinion on you or you are too eager to leave a sound impression on others. If so, that means you do not believe in yourself, you need others' praise and acceptance to make yourself confident. You need to ask yourself, why you are so scared of being in the spotlights and why you are so concerned about leaving others a bad impression?(2) Make a table, listing from people or scenes (such as family members and familiar friends, etc.) that do not make you strained to that make you the most nervous (e.g. talking with the opposite sex of the same age, speak at a meeting and other formal occasion). You can grade into five to ten levels, then, try your best to get over this problem from the least nervous level,such as looking for chance to communicate with these people, even though you are a bit nervous, you cannot shy away. However, you should plump up your courage to ask them whether they can notice your anxiety and unnaturalness. Usually, others may not notice it, it is just our over-anxiety. After getting across the first level, then go on the next level, step by step, at last, you will overcome all levels. (3) If you think that you are not able to do as the above or you cannot get much progress after doing so, you'd better ask for help from a psycho doctor.
Only when you have established confidence to conquer the social phobia, can you acquire a favorable result and enjoy the new life.
编辑：谭添夏
Q：我是一名初二的女生，在和同学的交往中，我不敢和人对视，因为怕自己说错话，让别人听了不舒服。上课时，我不敢发言，老师让同学轮流上台发言时，我宁愿逃学。看到别人畅所欲言，我有种莫名的失落感。
Social phobia is the third largest psychological problem in the world today.
社交恐惧症——当今世界第三大精神疾病
A：大多数人，不同程度地会在社交活动中感到不好意思，没有自信。他们在公众面前演讲，或与人约会时会紧张、心跳、手抖。不过这些焦虑情绪是暂时的，会很快消失，并不会影响他们的正常生活和学习。但如果这种焦虑情绪不能够缓解并严重影响了人们正常生活，这就是一种严重的问题——社交恐惧症。它是世界第三大精神疾病。据调查，在美国，每八个人中就有一人患此症。一项有关中学生心理健康状况的调查显示：目前中学生的心理问题较多，其中女生的心理问题较为明显。
A:Most of people will feel bashful and unconfident in the social activities. When they give a speech in public or date with someone, they may become uneasy, palpitated and trembling. But if this anxiety is temporary, which disappears soon, it may not do harm to our daily life or study. However, if the anxiety can’t be released and affect people’s life deeply, it may mean a severe problem ——social phobia, which is the third largest psychological problem in the world today. According to a survey, one in eight people in America is suffering from social phobia. A research on the mental health status of students in middle schools shows that, at present, there are many more mental problems among students in middle schools, especially among girls.
社交恐怖症产生的因素有很多，也很复杂。有的人生来性格内向，内向的人在青春期过程中如果不注意调整心理状态，就会变得惧怕与人交往。严重的就会发展成为社交恐怖症。与父母的关系不好也是产生社交恐惧症的原因之一。父母的过度保护或是不断指责，容易使孩子的自我评价降低，从而引发社交恐惧。此外，不爱运动也可能引发心理问题。
Many factors will lead to social phobia, which make it quite complicated.Some people are born diffident, who may become more fear of mixing with others if they are not able to adjust their mental conditions during adolescence. When serious enough, it may develop into social phobia. The bad relation with parents is one of the reasons. Either overprotection or constant scolding from parents can early result in the self-contempt of children, then social-phobia occurs. Furthermore, dislike of sports is under suspicion of bringing on the mental problems.
要克服社交恐惧，可从以下几个方面去做：(1)分析一下你自己，是否过分在意别人对你的印象和评价，是否总是想给别人留下一个好印象。如果是这样，说明你自己总是不能肯定自己，要通过别人的赞扬和接纳来肯定自己。你要问问你自己，为什么那么担心被人注意？为什么那么担心给他人留下不好的印象？(2)列出一张等级表：从最不让你紧张的人或情景(如和家人、非常熟悉的朋友等)到最让你紧张的人或情景(如和同龄异性的谈话及开会发言等正式场合)，分出5到10级，然后从最不让你紧张的那一级做起，主动找机会和他们交往，即使有轻度紧张也不要回避，可鼓起勇气问对方是否看出你的紧张和异样，通常对方是看不出你紧张的，而是你自己吓自己。第一级通过了再做第二级，逐级攻破。(3)如果你自己无法按照上述的方法操作，或你感觉做了之后收效不大，那就去找心理医生寻求帮助。
当你树立起战胜社交恐怖症的信心，就一定能取得良好成效，享受新的生活。
In order to get over social phobia, you can do as the following: (1) Check on yourself, whether you are too care about others' impression and opinion on you or you are too eager to leave a sound impression on others. If so, that means you do not believe in yourself, you need others' praise and acceptance to make yourself confident. You need to ask yourself, why you are so scared of being in the spotlights and why you are so concerned about leaving others a bad impression?(2) Make a table, listing from people or scenes (such as family members and familiar friends, etc.) that do not make you strained to that make you the most nervous (e.g. talking with the opposite sex of the same age, speak at a meeting and other formal occasion). You can grade into five to ten levels, then, try your best to get over this problem from the least nervous level,such as looking for chance to communicate with these people, even though you are a bit nervous, you cannot shy away. However, you should plump up your courage to ask them whether they can notice your anxiety and unnaturalness. Usually, others may not notice it, it is just our over-anxiety. After getting across the first level, then go on the next level, step by step, at last, you will overcome all levels. (3) If you think that you are not able to do as the above or you cannot get much progress after doing so, you'd better ask for help from a psycho doctor.
Only when you have established confidence to conquer the social phobia, can you acquire a favorable result and enjoy the new life.
编辑：谭添夏