…try and eat healthy. I drink the bottled water. But, you know, I feel kinda silly buying the bottled water. Or maybe I’m just too Midwestern. Every time I go in a store, I’m always like, “Hey how you doin’? Yeah I know I can get water free from any 1)faucet, but I wanna pay for it. I’m just curious; do you have any air back there? Can I buy your garbage?” It is water! How did we get to the point where we’re paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France, you know. Some French guy is sittin’ there, he’s like, “How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.”
　　“Look, Pierre, the Americans are pretty dumb, but they’re not gonna buy water.”
　　“Oh, ho! Yes they are! Let’s just tell the Americans the water’s from France.”
　　I don’t know if you’re like me; when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like, “Bottled water? They’re sellin’ bottled water! I guess I’ll try it.”
　　“Ahh, this is good, this is more watery than water. Yeah this has got a water kick to it.”
　　I was lookin’ at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know I’m no chemist, but I have a rough idea what’s in water. Kinda expect to turn the bottle, see a recipe. Hmm. That’s how you make ice cubes. Huh. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Ah, but you need a tray. That’s how they get ya.