Jokes and Humor

来源 :中学英语园地·初一版 | 被引量 : 0次 | 上传用户:beiebi3807b
下载到本地 , 更方便阅读
声明 : 本文档内容版权归属内容提供方 , 如果您对本文有版权争议 , 可与客服联系进行内容授权或下架
论文部分内容阅读
  Impolite
  My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her young pupils that a bird had built a nest in the tree outside the classroom.
  “What kind of bird?” my sister inquired.
  “I didn’t see the bird, ma’am, only the nest,” answered the child.
  “Well,” said my sister, “what does the nest look like?”
  The child studied her innocently for a moment, and then replied:
  “Like your hair, ma’am, except that it has more sticks.”
  无礼
  我妹妹是个小学教师。一次,一个学生告诉她有只鸟在他们教室外边的树上筑了个巢。
  “什么样的鸟?”我妹妹问。
  “我没看见鸟,我只看到了一个巢。”那小孩回答。
  我妹妹接着问:“那巢是什么样子的?”
  那小孩天真地望了我妹妹一会儿,然后说:“巢上除了多了几根小棍棍以外,和你的头发几乎完全一样。”
  
  What Would You Do?
  Son: Mom, if someone broke your best vase, what would you do?
  Mum: I’d spank him and send him to bed without any supper!
  Son: Well, you’d better get the slippers. Dad has just broken it!
  你会怎么办?
  儿子:妈妈,如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶,你会怎么办?
  妈妈:我要打他的屁股,还让他不吃晚饭就去睡觉!
  儿子:好了,你准备好拖鞋吧,爸爸刚把那只花瓶打碎了。
  
  When Do People Talk Least?
  Student A: When do people talk least?
  Student B: In February.
  Student A: Why?
  Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
  人们什么时候说话最少?
  学生甲:人们什么时候说话最少?
  学生乙:二月。
  学生甲:为什么呢?
  学生乙:因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
  
  The Plural Form of “Child”
  Teacher: Tom, What is the plural of man, Tom?
  Tom: Men.
  Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
  Tom: Twins.
  “孩子”的复数形式
  老师:汤姆,“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?
  汤姆:男人们。
  老师:答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?
  汤姆:双胞胎。
  
  WOOL
  Teacher: What do we get from sheep?
  Boy: Wool.
  Teacher: You are quite right. And what do we make from wool?
  Boy: I don’t know.
  Teacher: Well, what’s your sweater made of?
  Boy:My coat was made from my father’s old sweater.
  羊毛
  教师:我们从羊身上能得到些什么呢?
  男孩:羊毛。
  教师:你说得非常对。那么我们又拿羊毛做什么呢?
  男孩:我不知道。
  教师:嗯,那么你的毛衣是用什么做的?
  男孩:我的毛衣是用我爸爸的旧毛衣改的。
  
  Like Father, Like Son
  Once a grandfather beat his grandson for playing with fire in the courtyard. The boy’s father saw this and got worried about him. So the father took a stick and began beating himself. The grandfather was surprised and asked, “Why are you beating yourself?” “You are beating my son and I’m beating your son,” the boy’s father answered.
  有其父必有其子
  一次,一个小男孩因为玩火被他爷爷打了一顿。小男孩的父亲看到后很心疼自己的儿子,于是,他就拿起一根棍子开始打自己。男孩的爷爷见到后很不理解,便问道:“你为什么要打自己呢?”男孩的父亲回答道:“因为你打了我儿子,所以我也要打你儿子。”
  
  The Results of a Promise
  Father: I promise to buy you a car if you passed your examination, but you have failed. What were you doing last term?
  Son: I was learning to drive a car.
  许诺的结果
  父亲:我答应过你,如果你考试及格的话,就给你买一辆汽车,可是你却没考及格。你上学期都干什么了?
  儿子:我在学开汽车。
  
  NOUNS
  Teacher: A noun is the name of a thing. Who can give me a noun?
  First boy: A cow.
  Teacher: Very good. Another noun?
  Second boy: Another cow.
  名词
  教师:名词是一个东西的名称。谁能说出一个名词?
  第一个男孩:一头母牛。
  教师:很好。谁能再说一个名词?
  第二个男孩:另一头母牛。
其他文献
One of the founding fathers of the internet has predicted the end of traditional television.  Vint Cerf, who helped to build the internet while working as a researcher in America, said that television
期刊
Ask men to name their 10 most stylish peers of the past 50 years and it’s unlikely handsome movie stars favored by women like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise will show up.  But Sean Connery? He gets major poi
期刊
Ⅰ. 单词拼写  根据下列句子及所给单词的首字母或汉语注释,在句子右边的横线上写出该单词的正确形式。  1.______ (人类)has been trying every means to maintain the balance of nature.   2. It’s illegal to read people’s______ (私人的) letters without permissio
期刊
A  One day I was walking in a forest when I was suddenly attacked by a butterfly many times beside a pool. I was puzzled about it, laughing, and found it very funny. I stopped laughing, my attacker ru
期刊
一、单词拼写:根据句意和首写字母或汉语提示,写出句中所缺单词的完全形式。    1. Nowadays in order to avoid traffic jam(交通堵塞), people prefer to take s_______ instead of buses, because it can save a lot of time.  2. As we know, the o______
期刊
摘 要:《英语课程标准》提出教学中要落实三维教学目标,即知识与技能,过程与方法,情感、态度、价值观。而在传统教学过程中,多数教师只醉心于知识的传授,认知技能的目标制定和实施,而把情感、态度、价值观目标看得可有可无。这是急功近利的应试教育思想在作祟,教师普遍认为情感、态度、价值观目标很难在教学过程中得以体现,难把握,且对掌握知识,应付考试无益,故教学常流于表面,教案写的天花乱坠,而在实际的教学中却不
期刊
摘 要:随着现代科学技术水平的不断发展和提高,科学技术的成果日新月异,对人类的学习、生活、健康和工作产生很大的影响,了解最新科技成果和科技动态是人类的需求和时代的要求。因此,科技文作为一类独立的文体就凸显出来。然而,英语科技文阅读又是中学生英语阅读理解的难点,也是各年高考中难度大和区分度高的文章。本文就科技文的特点归纳,要点分析以及阅读科技文的策略进行一些探讨,希望对中学生提高科技文阅读有所帮助。
期刊
本文重点谈谈中考英语阅读理解题型的解题方法与技巧。  一、 中考英语阅读理解主题把握之——抗干扰,分析题型  阅读理解的解题训练重点应当放在对学生理解和辨别能力提高上,锻炼学生对文章理解的抗干扰能力应从以下几个方面进行。  (1) 依据阅读文章作者的观点圈定正确答案  任何一篇文章,其写作根本是为了表达作者的观点,或者是作者出于抒发自己感情和记录所见所闻,大多数情况下,作者为了更好地让读者了解自己
期刊
摘 要:心理健康教育在学困生的学习和生活中至关重要。本文首先介绍典型的学困生心理问题,然后从教师、学校以及家长、社会等不同角度提出学困生的心理健康教育方式,并通过具体的教学案例阐述多种心理健康教育方式的成功应用。  关键词:学困生 心理健康 心理原型  教师不仅要有自己深厚的专业功底,还要有各方面的素质修养,要有一颗宽容之心,要能接纳受教育的每一个孩子,要让每个孩子都能在教室里找到自己,这
期刊
一、 引言  《初中英语新课程标准》提出:基础教育阶段英语课程的任务之一是“激发和培养学生学习英语的兴趣,使学生树立自信心,养成良好的学习习惯和形成有效的学习策略,发展自主学习的能力和合作精神。”可见,新课程标准特别强调要关心学生的情感,激发他们学习英语的兴趣。  相比八、九年级,七年级学生仍延续了小学阶段的一些特点——活泼好动,注意力易发生转移,但模仿能力强。而一些少儿英语歌曲和歌谣简单好记,响
期刊